r/SituationshipAdvice

okay so, I'm in a long distance situationship/relationship with a guy since march,at first he was perfect, we always called, we played games together and he was the funniest and sweetest person alive, once he told me he was "depressed" and "autistic" but idk if he's been diagnosed of he just says. He didn't go out at all the first few months,but then something changed,no more texting unless I wasn't the first to talk, no more calls, no more games, no more things about his day, only some rare "I miss you" and "I love you" only if I was the first one talking, and he started hanging out a lot, basically all the times, in parties and stuff. As soon as I saw she tiniest shift in him I texted him if he was okay and if he lost interest, he said no but nothing changed, after some weeks I asked him again and I told him that if he loses interest I want him to tell me instead of getting dry, he said okay but still no changing, two days ago I told him that I was feeling ignored and he kept saying "Nooo" every fucking message and i think he was making fun of me but maybe I misinterpreted, I told him the same thing over and over and he said "yeah ik love u" so I went to sleep. Yesterday literally not a single message from him (he's active every time), at all, not after every time I said that it hurts me and I think he lost interest, this morning he sent me a black photo for the snap streak not even an "hi", I'm so fucking sad and disappointed because I know I shouldn't do that to myself but I love him and that's ridiculous but in this period of my life I physically couldn't suffer from a "break up" too so idk.

i (23f) found a contact lens case in my situationship: (24m) bathroom and it still had saline in it. we were off in February and ik he was fw someone then. wouldnt it have evaporated by now? am i crazy?

F(21) He (M20) ended our 9-month situationship. I don't know how to move on.

My situationship of 9 months ended yesterday, and I honestly don't know how to process it.

We were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were completely committed to each other. He even told me before that what we had felt more like a relationship than a situationship, which makes this hurt even more.

We were fine. At least, that's what I thought.

We both come from difficult family backgrounds, with trauma and ongoing family problems. Yesterday, he told me that because of everything happening in his life, he couldn't continue. He said he wasn't the right person for me and that I deserved someone who could be physically present in my life. We were long-distance.

I kept reassuring him that he was enough. I never wanted anyone else. I wanted him.

The hardest part is that he admitted he'd been thinking about this for months. Back in May, we had a vulnerable phone call where he told me he loved me, saw a future with me, and was ready to make us official. I held onto those words, believing we'd be okay.

I don't know what changed.

I was ready to stand by him through everything. He has a lot on his plate. He's studying BCA, preparing for a very competitive exam next year, and carries anxiety from his previous relationship. He told me he loved me genuinely, apologized for hurting me, and said he needed to let me go so we could both grow into better versions of ourselves.

I understand his reasons. I really do.

But what about me?

He was the first man I genuinely trusted after my ex cheated on me. I wasn't even looking for a relationship when we met. He knew that. He knew everything about me—my fears, my past, my insecurities.

Over time we became so close.

We shared playlists, slept on calls together, had our own nicknames, sent each other reels, made Pinterest boards, planned our future, and talked about meeting. We had saved money for our first date this July because I was finally doing my internship. I even had gifts and handwritten letters ready for him.

That date will never happen.

He wasn't financially well off, but whenever I mentioned I was hungry, he'd insist on sending me money to buy food or a snack. Those little things meant so much to me.

When we broke up, he was incredibly kind. He apologized over and over. He told me he loved me and wished me the best. We even joked a little before saying goodbye because that's just how we were.

Then, because I asked him to, he removed me from all his social media. He deleted our shared collections and playlists. I know I asked for it because I thought it would help me move on, but seeing everything disappear made the breakup feel so final.

I'm devastated.

After the breakup, I broke down crying in front of my parents. I never cry in front of people, especially not them. They're very strict, but seeing me sob so hard, they eventually comforted me. I never thought they'd see me like that.

Part of me still hopes he'll come back, but when I read his messages again, he sounds certain about his decision. He didn't leave because we were toxic or because we stopped loving each other. He left because he believed he couldn't be the partner I deserved.

That somehow hurts even more.

So I guess I'm here asking:

Has anyone been through something similar?

Is there any realistic chance someone comes back after ending things like this?

How do I stop hoping?

And most importantly... how do I move on from someone I genuinely thought I'd spend my future with?

I know it's only been a day, but right now it feels impossible to imagine life without him.

Hi everyone, I really need some honest outside perspective on a messy situation that has left my head spinning and my self-esteem in a very dark place.

To give you the full context, I am a 20-year-old plus-size girl, and the guy is 23, tall, lean, and very good-looking. Because of my size, I’ve always carried some insecurities. A few months ago, I was just one month out of a heavy, emotionally draining 1.7-year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Shortly after the breakup, I ended up at a party with my sister, hosted by my ex's friends (my ex wasn't there). I was completely heartbroken, drinking heavily, and crying a lot.

That night, I noticed this 23-year-old guy at the party. Before I could even start a proper conversation with him, the hostesses decided I had too much to drink and tried to send me home. I resisted at first, but as I was leaving, I realized I lost my phone and couldn't call a cab. There was some drama, and while my sister went back inside the house to look for my phone, I stayed outside alone because I was too embarrassed to go back in.

While I was waiting outside, completely broken and drunk, that same guy walked out. We started talking, and since we couldn't find my phone anywhere in the end, I forgot about waiting for it altogether. So, he was the one who called a cab for me using his own phone, and I brought him back to my place. We had an amazing night together. However, I didn’t want him to stay over, so right after we were done, I sent him back to the party, which was also what his friends wanted him to do. Before he left, I just gave him my Snapchat username since I knew it by heart. There was no deep motive behind it—it was just a quick way to share contact. He ended up forgetting his driver's license at my apartment that night, too.

After that first night, there was a long period of dry texting and silence. It felt like he wasn't really interested in anything more. But then, out of nowhere, he texted me saying he really enjoyed our night together and wanted to repeat it, but he explicitly stated he "was not looking for a relationship." Being lonely and still carrying trauma from my ex, I agreed, and we kept it strictly as a physical one-night-stand agreement.

The basis for our second meetup was entirely his initiative. He texted me to spark up a conversation and arrange another hookup. He used his forgotten driver's license as a logistical excuse, but he also directly used my feelings as a conversation starter, texting me that he knows I like him, and that’s why he dared to make the proposition to meet again. Despite using that line, he still followed it up with his usual cold reminder that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Because the physical chemistry was so high, I agreed anyway, and we met up.

After that second meetup, I kept my distance and completely stopped texting him first. I didn't want to just sit around waiting in uncertainty or build up fake hopes for something that wasn't there, so I decided to protect myself. After three weeks of absolute silence, I finally reached out and asked him directly if he still had any interest in meeting up or if we should just move on with our lives. There was no fight or drama—it was just me setting a healthy boundary. He coldly replied, "Let's move on." I went completely silent after that, focused on myself, graduated from high school, went out celebrating with friends, and posted snaps about it. I noticed he was opening my stories instantly, within seconds, despite his cold text.

Our third meetup happened on Midsummer’s Eve. He texted me out of nowhere again, wanting to see me for "something like last time." He drove an hour in his car to meet me directly at the accommodation. When I arrived, the physical chemistry was through the roof. We met in the living room, and the first hug was a bit awkward on my part because of our huge height difference (he is very tall and I didn't know where to hold onto him), but he immediately started kissing me very passionately.

While we were pouring some wine in the living room, he barely drank because he wanted to stay sober, since he had already been drinking with his friends the day before. I told him straight up, "I don't want to be the only one drinking, I want to keep my self-control too." Hearing this, he gave me this intense, searching look, trying to read my mind and figure out my boundaries.

After that, we lay on the couch holding each other for the rest of the evening. Compared to the previous times, we actually had more open conversations, but there was still a clear emotional distance. I opened up to him about several personal things, including how much I had struggled and cried during high school just to get good grades because it meant so much to me. I felt so safe in his arms.

But the next morning, everything flipped back to being freezing cold. We woke up, I snuggled into his chest, and through sleep, things got physical again. But it felt incredibly rushed and selfish. He got his pleasure quickly, immediately got up to take a shower, and that was it. No after-care, no affection. I felt a huge wave of disappointment and felt like a disposable object.

He drove me back to my home and inside the car right before I got out, I kept my guard up, smiled, and told him directly: "Thanks for the pleasant evening, let's see what the future brings. Have a nice day." I wanted to show him that his coldness didn't phase me and that I am in control of my own life, but inside I was breaking.

Since that morning, we are back to total silence. I am stuck in a massive anxiety spiral purely about the physical intimacy and his behavior. I know in my mind that I am just a convenient toy he uses whenever he feels the urge, and I hate myself because the physical attraction is so high that I know a part of me would still give in next time. I just want to go out on normal dates and see where things lead, but with him, it feels like a pure ego game.

What do these mixed signals mean? Why use a line about knowing I like him just to start a conversation, act so sweet and cuddling on the couch, only to turn completely cold and dismissive the next morning?

How should I behave and what should I text him if he reaches out next time, knowing how hard it is for me to resist the physical pull?

How do I break free from this pattern when I feel so disposable and used?