u/Special-Definition95

Hey y'all, i have SRS scheduled in September, and although I'm thrilled and super excited, I'm wondering about the dating aspect of dating post op. Curious to know what your overall experience has been like dating post srs? Do you mention that to a guy if you've told him your trans, so that he's not expecting a penis when you get intimate? Do you find that the range of guys you date now are different from the ones you dated when you were pre-op? What are some things people don't talk about enough?

And Just to be clear, getting a vaginoplasty is solely for me and me only at the end of the day. It's a beautiful gift, and if everything goes smoothly, will likely enrich my life 100 times over. A man's opinion of my body won't change my perspective by any means. I just want to know y'alls take on it.

Happy Friday gals ! 🌻🌻

I have come to this weird conclusion lately. Whether it's in real life (Pretty much stealth), or Hinge, or over the phone, It seems that the moment you disclose to a guy that you're trans, something inside of him becomes unleashed. A curiosity turned fixation.

Take Hinge for example, I usually wait to disclose to a guy a few days into the conversation. For the ones that usually stick around, and believe me, a handful of them do, it's almost as if I become this eighth wonder of the world, a fixation they can't shake, or some freak show exhibit even.

Three different guys in particular, probing and inquiring about my genitalia.

One of them, whom I mentioned to that I was getting SRS this September, could only seem to express his sheer disappointment 🙄 Shame on me for even mentioning it to him lol.

It seems even the wholesome, good guy next door types all kind of jump immediately to dirty, sex talk once you disclose to them. When before, they were perfect gentlemen, wanting to know me as a person, what my interests are, etc.

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Are there any normal guys out there? Sometimes the discouragement is heavy 🤨

Good news, I'm convinced atp I pass 95% visually in broad daylight.

Bad news, I scared another one away 🥺🥺

So Basically, I work at this coffee shop. And for months, this really tall eastern European guy (Attractive, lean, muscular) has been eyeing me. He usually comes there with his guy friends and they do some remote work on their laptops.

Yesterday, I came into work and they were all sitting in a booth next to the back door where employees usually enter the building. I smiled over at them all and they all said hello.

Shortly after, they all got up and I assumed they had all left.

However, he came back inside a few minutes later and sat back down at that same booth by himself.

We were slow, so I started doing some detailed cleaning for the expresso machine and he started eyeing me heavy.

I went to go use the bathroom, walked past him, and he stared me down even heavier. Atp, I knew I had to act on it.

Side note: A month prior to this, I followed him on IG and he followed back.

He eventually got up, handed me his coffee mug, and made intense eye contact with me and said goodbye, and he left.

So I bit the bullet, and messged him on IG.

" I forgot how tall you were", I said .

He replied shortly and said " Same. You're tall too and so pretty.

(I'm 5'8 for reference, he's like 6'4-6'5)

We flirted over text and he told me he's had his eye on me for quite some time, and that he often tells his friends about how hot he thinks I am but that he was nervous to say something.

We chatted for maybe like two hours and then he went to the gym and then had to do some more work afterwards.

He asked if I was gonna be busy after 10 pm, and I said not really. He Then proceeded to say if I'd like, he would love to 'hang out' and do whatever i wanted to do. Now, I wasn't exactly opposed to a booty call if he'd just had that in mind. I mean, it was after 10. It's been months since I've had any, and at least it'd be with a guy I was physically attracted to. And as crazy as this sounds coming from a hopeless romantic, the most dominant thought in my head was NOT about him possibly wanting casual sex, but me wondering if this guy is a chaser and if all his friends know about me, and when I tell him, is he gonna say some shit like "It's okay, I know". That to me, would have been a revelation that I don't pass at all, lol.

Well guess the fuck what? He surely did not know! Lmao.

Basically I gave him my address, and told him come over when I gave him the o.k. (Dumb ass move btw, or at least wrong timing)

Then I proceeded to tell him, by the way, I'm a trans female and hopefully that's not an issue for you. But I understand if it's not your thing.

He then quickly apologized and said that it wasn't "for him" and told me not to worry, that he'd keep my secret.

Proceeded to call me baby, and tell me that he was a little frustrated and was kind of in shock. Blah blah blah. That he doesn't think of me as a guy, but that he cannot get past the trans thing in his head. He was completely taken a back.

I told him about me getting SRS this September and that didn't do shit either lol.

Nevertheless, I'm kinda glad I told him. He lives like 7 mins away from me. If he came over and saw this curse between my legs, who knows what could've happened.

The only good takeaways from this, is that my dysphoria and brain worms have been silenced by half. This is the 3rd guy in the past few months that didn't suspect my tea, and i've been face to face with them in broad daylight. And I can remain apparently stealth at work 🙃

Ugh, this existence is not for the weak.

By the way, this is in no way me bashing this guy, it's not his fault he wasn't down. It is what it is.

Will I ever find a straight, tall, handsome knight in shining amour? 😭😭😭