u/Special_School_5221

TL;DR summary: Hydroxyzine 25mg my first time did nothing to help my anxiety. In fact, it escalated my panic to extreme levels, added confusion, dizziness. In attempt to mitigate I took 40mg of propranolol. Oops! That made dizziness and confusion worse, and super sizing my anxiety panic into a 10/10 unacceptable!

I have severe GAD. Xanax saved my life in rescue situations for nearly two decades. I tapered off a year ago not wanting to depend on benzos. I recently found a good med combo for my ADHD and depression: Auvelity and Dyanavel, but with panic on occasion, I requested a rescue med. Went with Hydroxyzine over the benzo klonopin also offered…oops.

This last weekend was my first true panic creeping up since having Hydroxyzine, and it was time to test it. Popped my 25mg dose. Spent 20 minutes on chair trying to breathe 4-7-8. Then, I went to stand up and OMG!! I remember thinking “I’m simulating a really drunk person huffing nitrous” — I don’t know how, really, but I ended up outside. A loud ass firecracker exploded 6 ft away (or, at least felt 6 ft away). I was in full fight or flight and I was sweating from head to Toe, massive amounts. Blood flow to my head felt non- existent …so hazy and groggy…and dizzy…and freaking out! I had to reverse course and quickly.

I grabbed whatever else I could for anxiety. I settled on my 10mg propranolol , that should at least take the edge off the sweating. I popped four of them. Now to retreat into my quiet corner of meditation and go all out on mindfulness & breathing . I barely even remember. I only remember intense, morbid fear that wouldn’t settle. My Wife tried to check on me. According to her, I said something along these lines: “no ambulance. I got this, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. But im ok”

I don’t really remember saying that but I remember my fear. Then the propranolol started to kick in,taking the foggy groggy fizzy dizzy and turning it up full blast. Legs felt like jello. Ad it turns out, one should not take propranolol with hydroxide or dizzy extreme!I didn’t know what was going on but I was convinced o was going to die. My wife said that I was mumbling what she made out as
“I’m scared I’m going to die, but that’s fear from the toxins, brain cooties, and germs who are dying off right now. I can’t die off because they are in die off, not me.” I hazily recall something of the sort, but I
Mostly just recall actually thinking I’d die. Scared out of my wits.

This lasted a decent 8 hours, far too long! This med is NOT for me!!

I went to a firefly viewing event at a nature preserve last night. It was 80 some degrees and absurdly humid. To reduce surface area available to mosquitoes, I opted for blue jeans over shorts and wore a black t-shirt. It was dusk. I was out for maybe only 30 minutes.

I ended up drenched from head to toe. Disgusting. There was zero precipitation. My wallet, in my back left butt pocket was warped from the moisture. My family disregarded my complaining requests to get back to the car, saying “we all feel the heat” sigh. They weren’t sweating at all.

Gawsh, being low on energy never sounds nearly as bad as it actually is. No medical or med changes recently. Extreme exhaustion began 2 days ago. I thought I was sick. Cold chills and sweats sometimes. I’ve rested and slept A TON and there is no difference. Everything is too exhausting. I’m pushing the max right now just to type this out. This is unbearable. I’m not sleep tired, but that’s honestly the only thing that sounds like something I can do. Otherwise I’m just sitting here, trying to to work but accomplishing nothing. I have ADHD and my meds would normally give me a lil oomph, and I even took an extra today just because of work , but I may as well just swallowed a sugar pill.

The absence of energy is brutal. I don’t know how ppl can live with this for long periods of time. Hats off to you if you do. I hope this ends. I know I need to go in but just picking up the phone and using whatever fuel necessary to plan an appointment feels overwhelming and impossible. It feels as if my brain has no glutamate whatsoever. I spent 20 minutes just to mentally prepare myself for the drain that is standing up and slowly walking to the next room. I had mono long ago and probably had covid before testing was accessible. No clue. I’ll try to get help to get in for an appointment.

Well, now I know that no amount of stims, caffeine, or pleasurable activity can bring someone out of pure exhaustion. Yuck. This experience gets a 0/10 stars. Would not recommend.