u/Specialist_Appeal683

Sé que hay muchas variables como desempeño, habilidades, etc. Pero sólo lo quiero delimitar a esto.

Mi prima me acaba de pedir 2k prestados, no me dijo para que y no me quiero arriesgar a qué no me pague.

But I have to admit, the level of manipulation they’re capable of is astonishing, because it’s so subtle and gradual that you end up taking all the blame, even though they’re the ones destroying your life.

Honestly, I don’t understand what happens to their perception of us as time goes by. I know they don’t forget you, but I don’t know whether they genuinely stop caring about you or, on the contrary, spend their lives hating you.

In reality, most of their victims are empathetic people or those with a savior complex, carrying deep emotional wounds, who only wanted to be loved.

You didn't lose the love of your life. You lost a manipulative person who loves out of need and self-interest. They weren't looking for a partner—they were looking for someone to save them.

You didn't lose someone who loved you unconditionally. You lost someone who needed you as their emotional regulator.

You didn't lose someone who truly understood you. You lost someone who pretended to understand you so you wouldn't leave.

You are not a terrible person, and this wasn't your fault. That version of yourself only existed because of what that person put you through.

They are not a victim. They like to portray themselves as one to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

You did matter to that person, but as an essential source of emotional supply—one they replaced when they could no longer control or dominate you.

They won't give you closure, and they won't regret what they did. They don't know how; their mind simply doesn't process it that way.

That wonderful person you met at the beginning wasn't real. They created that persona to draw you in. Their true personality is the one they showed you in the end.

Not everyone is like that. You were with a disturbed person. Eventually, you'll be able to trust the right people.

Le pregunté a mis primos y a mí hermano por qué no fueron a mi exámen de titulación cuando algunos dijeron que sí irían o no dijeron nada en el chat grupal que hice.

In my case, she gradually lost almost all of her friends, and her family could barely tolerate her. Her parents treated her as if she couldn't be independent.

Tell me how you found out about it.

IIt's been 1 year and 9 months for me, and I'm still not 100%.

Tenemos 30 años y somos amigos desde la prepa, pero ayer vino a mi casa a echar cheve y entre las cosas que me dijo fue que la única razón por la que no se acuesta con niñas de 13 años es por qué a esa edad cuentan todo y no quiere que los papás de la niña se enteren. Además, me dijo que era válido qué el intentara ligarse a la hija de mi ex por qué ella y yo ya habíamos terminado. La hija de mi ex tiene 14 años.

This was the final message I sent to my ex with BPD. We spent four years living together.

Hello, Little Bunny...

I’m not expecting a reply, nor do I want to interrupt your life. I just want to tell you a few things.

Today I’m writing to you from that corner of our story where we were happy. From the moments when we dreamed together, when being bunnies was more than just a word—it was home, a promise, and a safe haven.

I’m speaking to you from what we once were, not to cause pain, but to thank you.

Thank you for loving me so deeply.

For believing in a “forever,” even through all our storms.

For the little details, for your patience, for staying when I didn’t even know how to hold myself together.

Thank you for the hands that cared for me, and for the way you looked at me as if I were everything you needed.

I know not everything was perfect. There were mistakes, wounds, and silences that hurt more than any argument. We hurt each other without meaning to... and in the end, we broke apart.

Even so, I want you to know something very important:

Nothing you gave was in vain.

Nothing you felt was insignificant.

You were love.

You were devotion.

You were light.

We will not find our way back to each other, and that is okay. Because true love also knows how to let go when two people can no longer grow together. But I hope you never forget that you mattered, that you were loved.

And that you deserve someone who chooses you every single day—not only in nostalgia, but in real life.

Keep moving forward.

With every step, you get closer to the person you have always wanted to become.

And when the love that is truly meant to stay finally arrives, you will remember all of this not with pain, but with peace.

By the way, I want to tell you that I didn’t take the car back to hurt you.

At that moment, I believed you had left me for someone else. Whether that was true or not, I honestly do not know, and I do not want to know. That day, my heart broke. I could not understand how someone who had told me they loved me so much could let me go so quickly.

Taking the car back was my way of cutting off contact so I would not continue suffering. I know I left you in a difficult situation, and that was never my intention. I’m sorry.

There are many things we both got wrong, but sadly, in the end, we chose to let each other go and bring our story to a close.

That is why I tell you now, with everything we once were and everything that was left unsaid, that I say goodbye while keeping our memories in a special place in my mind and heart.

And even though my heart was broken, a large part of it stayed with you.

I will always remember you as my love, my bunny, my little bunny, and my sky, my sea, and my earth.

Lastly, I dedicate to you the song that stayed with me on the night you left. I do so with gratitude, because even though our story ended, I managed to find the love of my life.

I would rather say that I chose the wrong life, but not the wrong love.

Some time later, her former best friend told me that she had made fun of the letter I wrote to her.

I think that's the hardest part to come to terms with: after feeling such a strong connection, they can just walk away as if nothing had ever happened.

Un año y ocho meses después de la ruptura, y tras un año de terapia, estoy mucho mejor, pero aún no al 100%.

A year and 8 months after the breakup, and with a year of therapy, I'm much better, but not 100% yet.

Tell me your experience.

I met a woman with BPD who already had a 10-year-old daughter when I came into their lives. I wanted to build a family, have children, stability, a peaceful life, and a healthy home. I grew deeply attached to both of them, and for years I tried to take on the role of provider, guide, and father figure for her daughter.

The problem was that little by little I realized our visions of life were completely incompatible. I wanted structure, emotional stability, boundaries, discipline, and a traditional family. They wanted a much freer, more impulsive and permissive lifestyle.

Her daughter’s adolescence became one of the hardest parts for me emotionally. When I met her, she was still a little girl in my eyes, but over the years she turned into someone I no longer recognized. By age 12 she was already allowing boys at school to touch and record her in sexualized ways. Later came alcohol, marijuana, crystal meth/cocaine, extremely early sexual activity, staying overnight with boyfriends, chaotic social circles, and openly romanticizing drug culture and self-destructive behavior on social media. She even publicly referred to herself as a “crackhead” as part of her online identity.

I tried to set boundaries and guide the situation because I genuinely cared about her and wanted better for her, but eventually I understood something painful: I never truly had the place or authority to raise her, and she didn’t want the kind of life I imagined for her anyway. I wanted a quiet, grounded, healthy girl focused on improving herself. She wanted to live a completely different kind of adolescence.

My relationship with her mother also became extremely exhausting. There was intense jealousy, constant conflict, financial pressure, emotional instability, and a very heavy dynamic overall. I felt like keeping that relationship alive required me to give up too many important things: having my own children, privacy, peace of mind, personal space, and accepting family dynamics that deeply hurt me.

She suffered with me too because she felt my vision of life limited and frustrated them. And honestly, I believe we both gave everything we could, but we simply stopped being happy together.

The breakup destroyed me emotionally. It left me with anxiety, physical tension, obsessive thoughts, and a constant need to understand what had happened. It also left me with a much harsher view of relationships and people in general. For a long time I idealized them, blamed myself, felt anger, and tried to save something that could no longer be sustained.

Over time I understood something painful: love is not always enough. You can deeply love someone and still be completely incompatible with the life that person wants to live.

Today she has another partner who fits much better into the dynamic and lifestyle they have, and I’m starting a relationship that is far more compatible with who I am and what I want. I no longer hate them. I no longer want to save anyone. I simply accepted that our lives were heading in different directions and staying together was destroying all of us.

Honestly, I feel like this experience changed me forever.

Hace dos días falleció la abuela de mi primo. La verdad no lo vi triste; andaba como si nada, hasta faltó al entierro. Hoy lo invité a desayunar al Sanborns y le dije que sentía mucho lo de su abuela. Él me volteó a ver con una cara de flojera y me dijo: “La verdad no me importa”.

Yo solo asentí y le dije: “Sí… qué lástima que ya no alcanzó a venir con nosotros al Festival del Mollete”. A mí primo le dió un ataque de risa y dijo NOOOOOO.

Es difícil ser amable y correcto, la gente busca abusar de tí o te aborrecen.

Le pregunté si podría vivir sin internet si el dinero no fuera un problema y vivieramos con los lujos de los años 90.

Me dijo que sí.

Qué con qué tuviera datos móviles era suficiente.

Me rei mucho y ya se enojó conmigo.