u/Specific-Set6912

Hi guys. Im 24, six weeks along, just found out I was pregnant on Monday. I do BJJ which is full contact combat sport (that I’ll obviously be pausing, no worries) and literally just did a competition where I got thrown around and also did some throwing around on Saturday. I didn’t know I was pregnant honestly figured I lost my period due to the intensity of training. I have very intense PMS symptoms so it was hard to tell the difference between that and early pregnancy (though it’s very obvious now). I’m very happy to be pregnant and in a loving long term relationship with my fiancé.

All this said, before my relationship and BJJ and all the things, I was SAd multiple times by a partner who’s now in prison, he was exceptionally predatory and it was a bad situation. I developed very severe PTSD. I’ve recovered to a degree that’s quite remarkable in so many ways, but I’ve put off and dodged OBGYN appointments for the last 4 or 5 years due to anxiety around pelvic exams. I wasn’t sexually active at the time so I told myself it was unnecessary. It does not matter who the gender of my doctor is, it’s the cold and clinical nature of it. I am so stressed thinking about going through this. My fiance can’t come to this first appointment. I don’t know if it’s inappropriate to share this info with my doctor, I also don’t know exactly what to even expect at my first appointment.

I’m so happy but also so overwhelmed. I’m also kind of afraid of totally losing myself and never accomplishing the goals I had with my sport, which I know is an embarrassing and selfish concern to have throughout all of this. I am an anxious person and think of all the ways I could accidentally harm our baby and it’s scary. I’m nervous about my body changing, some of the physical aspects of pregnancy, or a freak accident in childbirth that causes the loss of the baby or myself. I want to be a mother badly and am so happy about this, I know this probably all seems very silly and ungrateful.

I also have a deeply religious, very conservative Pentecostal family. So even though I’m a grown woman, engaged, living with my partner who has an amazing job and we are very stable, this will still be scandalous to them and they’ll be upset. I haven’t told them even though my BJJ friends know. I’m anxious about telling them and am putting it off, and unsure how to approach it. They live an hour away from me.

I’d appreciate some advice on how to manage this anxiety, what to expect from my appointments, how to talk to my family, if anyone here is an athlete and how they managed that, etc. thank you!

Hi all, I’m a 24 year old female blue belt. I’ve been training for about 2.5 years. I have zero grappling background. I am not a professional athlete. I have a job. I try to train 4x a week, lift 2x a week. I’m intentional about game planning and working problem areas, and want to be as good as a hobbyist possibly can be. Long term, I’d like to coach or something someday. I’ve competed 7 or 8 times and plan to compete once a month over the next 6 months.

I’ve had consistently the most bizarre matchups in tournament setting, even when I a white belt. If it’s a normal person, they are 40 lbs heavier but the only other woman so I have to compete up. A lot of the time, I’m competing against 16 year olds who are ranked nationally and have been training for like 9 years. Other times, I’ve went against a girl who’s been doing competitive sambo since childhood, some actively wrestling in high school or college, girls ranked in judo or with longer term MMA backgrounds. It’s became ridiculous. I had another comp this weekend where I was supposed to have a big bracket, then all the girls dropped out, and it was me and a 15 year old who’s one of these high level kids I was talking about. When I told my coach he burst out laughing and said I have the worst luck of anyone he’s seen, and that he’s sorry, but that it’s what makes me tough and eventually I will be “that guy”. Even though I lost, I feel that I did put up a good fight, it wasn’t like an instant five second submission. But I could’ve been meaner, and that’s the issue.

It’s honestly I think has all made me worse at competing and I’ve started to get extremely anxious going into competition. In the past, I’ve competed like every 3-4 months. I start spiraling and I feel like it’s proof that I’m failing if I lose. On the very rare occasion I go against a normal person, I have a dominant win. But my record is abysmal, I have 8 wins right now. There have been times this has put such a bad drain on my confidence that I’ve lost matches I shouldn’t - typically, against girls less skilled but WAY bigger than me. There’s a local girl who’s an experienced competitor who should technically be a very back and forth round with me, and the last time I competed against her I basically deflated. My coach has said competing a lot will make it normal for me and give me a ton of matches, so the wins will boost my confidence. But I don’t get many matches and they’re definitely not confidence boosting. Am I just cooked? How can I even begin to fix this? Whether it’s bringing back more fiesty competitive energy, or how to put up better fights against these really good people.

Hi all, I’m a 24 year old female blue belt. I’ve been training for about 2.5 years. I have zero grappling background. I am not a professional athlete. I have a job. I try to train 4x a week, lift 2x a week. I’m intentional about game planning and working problem areas, and want to be as good as a hobbyist possibly can be. Long term, I’d like to coach or something someday. I’ve competed 7 or 8 times and plan to compete once a month over the next 6 months.

I’ve had consistently the most bizarre matchups in tournament setting, even when I a white belt. If it’s a normal person, they are 40 lbs heavier but the only other woman so I have to compete up. A lot of the time, I’m competing against 16 year olds who are ranked nationally and have been training for like 9 years. Other times, I’ve went against a girl who’s been doing competitive sambo since childhood, some actively wrestling in high school or college, girls ranked in judo or with longer term MMA backgrounds. It’s became ridiculous. I had another comp this weekend where I was supposed to have a big bracket, then all the girls dropped out, and it was me and a 15 year old who’s one of these high level kids I was talking about. When I told my coach he burst out laughing and said I have the worst luck of anyone he’s seen, and that he’s sorry, but that it’s what makes me tough and eventually I will be “that guy”. Even though I lost, I feel that I did put up a good fight, it wasn’t like an instant five second submission. But I could’ve been meaner, and that’s the issue.

It’s honestly I think has all made me worse at competing and I’ve started to get extremely anxious going into competition. In the past, I’ve competed like every 3-4 months. I start spiraling and I feel like it’s proof that I’m failing if I lose. On the very rare occasion I go against a normal person, I have a dominant win. But my record is abysmal, I have 8 wins right now. There have been times this has put such a bad drain on my confidence that I’ve lost matches I shouldn’t - typically, against girls less skilled but WAY bigger than me. There’s a local girl who’s an experienced competitor who should technically be a very back and forth round with me, and the last time I competed against her I basically deflated. My coach has said competing a lot will make it normal for me and give me a ton of matches, so the wins will boost my confidence. But I don’t get many matches and they’re definitely not confidence boosting. Am I just cooked? How can I even begin to fix this? Whether it’s bringing back more fiesty competitive energy, or how to put up better fights against these really good people.