So I made a thread on AITA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1vqn5rn/aita_for_wanting_to_add_my_birth_surname/
and lots of people called me asshole for wanting to do that. And someone recommended its better to post in adoption subs.
What would adopted people say? This is my alt account not main btw
So I made a thread on AITA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1vqn5rn/aita_for_wanting_to_add_my_birth_surname/
and lots of people called me asshole for wanting to do that. And someone recommended its better to post in adoption subs.
What would adopted people say? This is my alt account not main btw
I am adopted and I reunited with bio mother a while ago. I decided I want to feel complete and have both parts of my identity and thus I want to hyphenate, to add my birth surname to my adoptive one. I am not rejecting my adoptive surname just want to add bio one. Unfortunately, my adoptive mother is scared and insecure, telling me that bio mother threw me away and that she could have saved me but didn't etc. which hurt me a lot and like rubbed salt on my trauma.
Anyways, I decided to add my bio surname. I am not taking away from the family who raised me, just adding Btw i also suggested we go to therapy if she has troubles processing the fact I found my bios but she declined. She also legit said “wait until i die” and talked about how town will gossip and that she doesn't want to share me. I understand how she feels and that she is scared, but I always try to reassure her.
I know this is a delicate situation but I just want to emphasize that I am not erasing my adoptive surname, just expanding by adding birth one.
AITA for wanting to hyphenate and include my birth surname?