I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH. I HAVE SO MANY HEAD CANNONS AND A WHOLE STORY FORMING TO WRITE ABOUT THEM, EVEN THO THEY ONLY SHOWED UP FOR ONE EPISODE. I WILL MAKE THEM INTO FULL CHARACTERS. (character design stage 1)
CrowsofMars & Master0fTurtles my favorites..
Today, it rained a storm. I've never seen something like this, since I've never been in this part of the country. There was lightning, water that soaked my headphones to almost breaking, and insanely large puddles.
This all made me think of band. Back there, I'd go out and get completely drenched just to entertain someone. There'd be some comradely with it, where while it's terrible, we'd have to pull through for the performance.
Complaining and coping and everything we did normally in conditions like these? I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Now, I'm moving away, and where I'm going has no marching band or winter percussion. I don't think I'll ever find the same feeling of that group, and I miss it.
so i thought i was never gonna be over him after a friend betrayed me and told my crush (i was a yearner and wanted nothing more than to yearn) and then i got over him and then i realized i wasnmt over him but i HAD to be so i faked it and then i realized i was cooked and then i was over him and then i wasn't-
AND THEN THE GUY FORGETS ABOUT OUR PLANS RIGHT AFTER PROMISING TO NOT FORGET ME CUZ I'M MOVING ACROSS THE SEA?
so yeah i think i'm over him now. been a month, haven't texted him, feeling quite indifferent, but still a little annoyed that the guy hasn't even questioned my disapearwnce. guessnit's my fault for not making myself too remarkable in his life 😞 smh. ANYWAYS I'M ON MY YURI ARC NOW SO WE CHILLINGGGG
BRO GENUINELY THIS GIRL. ISTG. THEY'VE BEEN MY FRIEND FOR YEARS, AND SHE'S THE BEST. SHE AND I CAN CALL FOR HOURS, AND I DON'T THINK I CAN LAUGH HARDER THAN WHEN SHE OR I SAYS "bro can hear sounds" FOR THE FORTY-FIFTH TIME THAT HOUR. SHE'S THE BEST AND I'M SO GLAD TO BE HER BEST FRIEND AND THE ONLY ISSUE IS
SHE'S TERRIBLE AT THE EMOTIONAL SIDE OF THE WORLD. I WRITE POETRY AND DO MUSIC AND ALLAT SO I KNOW THE CATAGORY OF SERIOUS EMOTIONAL IN CASUAL CONVO, BUT THIS GIRL JUST DON'T GET IT. WE HAVE MAYBE TALKED HEART TO HEART ONCE AND IT WAS ABOUT A ANNOYING PERSON WHO WAS PISSING HER OFF IN HER CLASS AND THEN I CONVINCED HER TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE THE NEXT TIME THE GUY THREW A PENCIL AT HER HEAD (heh nice memory) BUT LIKE.
SURELY I HAVE NO SHOT THEN, RIGHT? CUZ WE WORK WELL TOGETHER AND LIKE, BUT HOW AM I GONNA CONVINCE THIS GIRL TO ACTUALLY WORK WITH ME AND LIVE FOREVER TOGETHER LIKE PLEASEEEEEEEEE WE WORK SO WELL PLZZZZ IK UR TOUCH STARVED TOO CAN I PLEASE BRAID YOUR HAIR OK?
Oh also girl's genuinely the most TALENTED person in the world, so ofc i need to spend more time with her to steal her pc to play ultrakill lol
tldr:
idk sorry for the all caps, chuldhood best friend REALLY needs to lock in so i can kiss her alreafy
we're so close
i could list every fact about you
we could call for three days straight and not even notice
we don't talk for months, yet can fall back into old habits so easily.
still,
still.
every vow of permanence i try and sew snaps despite this.
maybe it's the flimsy thread,
or the gold plating that wears to coppery bronze?
No matter,
we never last long.
you're the brightest light my wings have flown me to,
but i'm blind to when we flicker.
i hope i don't lose you.
my perfect green,
my beautiful blue,
you were never
that awful hue
that i embodied
all my life
yet now i'm here
wondering, why?
why is there blood
staining your hands
your knees
your eyes
your lips
your seas
everything you'll never touch.
why did it change?
is it my fault for getting too involved,
print on a painting,
wearing away the oil
i'm sorry for ruining you,
loving you so much you broke
you're unrecognizable
through this rose tinted glass
i'm sorry for wishing.
wanting.
praying at an alter that was never meant to burn.
the sacrifices in your name were for my sins,
not yours
never yours
sinless creature of stone and ice.
water
blood
home
cage
it's all the same
i'm the one who locked me in here.
i'm the one who broke the glass.
i'm the one who colored you in.
i'm the artist who failed you.
i'm red,
and now you are too.
I'm so pissed off right now.
I'm hurt, and just. I feel empty, because something I was looking forwards to, the one thing that was gonna brighten my voidish day, got canceled like it didn't even matter.
My life's been pretty bad lately (yes, nothing in comparison to so many others, but still, it's not great to have to be moving away from everything I'd classify as a home), and so to cope with that, I've been trying to keep in touch with friends from there. Me and one of them scheduled to hang out on call and play something together tonight, not really putting a time on it besides "once we're both free in the afternoon."
It's 9pm now, and they're apparently going to a sleepover after a full day at the pool with like 15 of their other friends.
I'm happy for them, glad they're having a good social life and that they get to have such a nice evening, but it's like they completely forgot about our plans.
The one thing in my hellscape that was going to make it a bit happier for me was completely forgotten because they were too busy with forgetting I exist.
I just hate it.
Spoilers for most recent FlameFrags vid ("I Became the Strongest on the Unstable SMP")
Flame has always been good at PvP, but I only really realized how amazing that is as a charactarization tool in the most recent video. Saying you're the strongest is one thing, but proving it with showing off fundementals to really solidify that as the first thing you do was. Just, yeah.
I also came to appreciate the writing around each character actually thinking and caring about each fight. Jaden_MAN preplanning using invisability to hide which one of them had a mace when the rain started, Flame using trees to make a cave equivilant mid fight, and the entire scene around developing the obsidian counter to the orbitals were all things that just really immersed me in the world. I'm not good at PvP, but the thought put in to developing each technique and way to defend or attack? I really like it all.
Lastly, the fight with Wemmbu was an excelent use of PvP as a language or conversation method. Wemmbu relying more and more on his fundemental ideas and less on actually participating in the fight showing Flame a sort of negative to the encounter that made him pause and reschedule it, and the entire thoughts around how both characters place value on the fight as a whole making Wemmbu act more impulsively on which attack to use and not going through any of the counters. Even simple things (like restocks) matter, and can be used to describe when one needs to take a breath, and the lack of it causing them to suffocate (metaphorically).
I'm gonna rewatch this vid a couple times now to see what else I can notice more individually, but I just wanted to talk about it. This video really made me enjoy thinking about PvP as a more active part of the characters' lives instead of just a threat or an argument.