u/SpiderBiteHurts

Usually I've got more of an imitation crab meat John Lennon thing going on, but this thing started curling its ass off recently. I'm at a loss for how to wear this, and I'm not the biggest fan of the hair metal / mullet combo, especially not with the thick roundies. Anybody with a similar curl distribution or better taste in general know a good way to pivot this?

The routine for this high-key tweaks me off because it was supposed to be a simple shampoo job on a chill day, but I absent-mindedly used my body wash by accident (Old Spice vanilla & Shea) and now my hair is the curliest it has ever been in its entire ever.

After about 4 months of trying CG method, switching up conditioners and wash day frequency, sectioning techniques, gels and creams, and diffuser methods, my hair is still frizzier than I'd like.

My hair is pretty fine and gets crazy soft if all I do is a simple shampoo/conditioner job. I have to wash about every other day to reset the form, or else I get a clown afro going on. I'll shampoo about once a week, with a conditioner wash as a substitute in the interim. Are my expectations too high? Behold, the method:

1a) hit it wit the shampoo using L'Oreal revive hyaluron whateva

OR

1b) Condish wash with L'Oreal Elvive defining conditioner

2. Shea moisture curl masque and let it soak in while I take care of meat parts of the bod

3. I use this crazy brush with a ravioli edge border to detangle and rinse out.

4. Shea strengthen and restore leave-in

5. Ouidad (Oo-wee dad? 🤔) featherlight cream, finger raked through then scrunched at the tips.

6. Ouidad featherlight gel, same dealio

7. Diffuse for like 6 straight gd hours on cool because my hair stays wet with all that product

8. Break cast with some argan oil with gentle scrunching. Has to be gentle. Used to do the kung-fu grip and that was frizz city

No towel drying whatsoever, and everything is applied while soaking. I can't really get decent sectioning going because my hair just giga clumps into a single Jimmy Neutron swirl, so I just do a gentle shakeout at the roots to break it up.

Granted, the frizz isn't excessive I don't think, but I'm not gonna bother doing any o' dis if I can't do it right. Of all the styling iterations, this combo has performed the best. How can a guy take this even further without being a bigger pain in the ass than it already is 🫩?

Some bomb ass taco truck tacos.

Anyway, there'll be periods where I get so engrossed in some task, project, leisure activity, or literally nothing at all, and I just straight up won't eat for 12-40ish hours. Even if I'm doing something physical like laying sod, surfing, skating, running, or hitting the gym, I literally cannot be bothered to eat. No junk food aperitifs or anything. I'll be good about hydration and electrolyte intake, just not food. When I do finally eat though, it's like Squidward in the patty vault.

I used to have disordered eating habits (specifically *not* an eating disorder), but the symptoms did not present as such, so I don't think it's a return to that. I'm about 6' 1", and until a year ago weighed about 149 lbs. My drill sergeant used to refer to my look as "holocaust chic". I'm now at 200 after a ton of hard work building up and maintaining weight/physique.

Anyway anybody else do this, or am I a very specific flavor of weird? Also, patronize your local taco trucks more. I would swallow these whole if I wouldn't immediately die to death about it from choking.