Not having a childhood friend as a bridesmaid, or inviting her partner to the wedding drama
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I Stacey (30F) am getting married to my partner Ben (30M) of 10 years bding together in 2 weeks and we are from the UK.
All names have been changed for privacy.
all of the planning is almost comple, so its just a wait for the big day. I have a childhood friend Called Sophie (30F) who i have known for a long time, we used to be very close and best friends until 4 years ago when we began to drift apart.
For some context, 4 years ago I was diagnosed with a rare heart and lung condition, and I was put on Oxygen for longterm use. During this time we talked almost everyday whilst I was in hospital, but I felt like it was mostly one sided. When I was discharged from hospital, I asked Sophie to meet for a coffee and a catch up, she agreed and it was planned.
On the day we were meant to meet, it was my first time out on my own with my oxygen bag, she was 30 mins late due to traffic and only stayed for 40 mins due to a booked nail appointment that she had.
Following this the meet ups were mostly one sided with me reaching out and arranging plans, because of this I was hurt, and decided to distance myself from Sophie.
Me and Sophie over the years became distant, with it still mostly one sided, Sophie however was making the effort with gifts at Christmas and birthdays. When we meet up I feel as if we have nothing in common anymore. And I have another wonderful group of friends, who have shown me how true friends are.
and is not a good person. Especially once he has had a drink and would make mean comments to my bridesmaid Jessica and her family who are also invited.
For this reason, I made the difficult decision to not invite Jamie to our wedding. I have also made the decision to not have Sophie as a bridesmaid, as we have drifted apart over the years and dont have much in common.
However I have recently had a Hen party, where I invited Sophie to come. We all had a fun day, a couple of days after the hen party I had a message from sophie asking why her partner Jamie is not invited to the wedding, and why she isnt a bridesmaid as she feels that because she is a childhood friend and has known me longer than anyone, then she should automatically be a bridesmaid. And she is very annoyed with me as she has expressed this.
Sophie has also got strong feelings against Jessica, she has been brainwashed by Jamie and his brother Jake (31M) and is not keen on her at all.
I was then honest and told Sophie the reason why Jamie isnt invited to the wedding, and why she isnt a bridesmaid. The reason being because I did not want him to cause any upset for Jessica and her family by him being confrontational and nasty which will happen once he has had a drink. And also because Jessica is a very good friend and has been there for me throughout everything.
Sophie then expressed that she was very annoyed, and that it isnt fair that she isnt a bridesmaid, as she has known me longer than any of the others. However i feel that we aren't in school anymore, we both have our own lives and friends as adults and have become distant. Sophie is also annoyed that Jamie isnt invited, as she feels that he wont cause any drama or upset for Jessica and her family. Which I strongly disagree with.
Because of this Sophie has not invited Ben to her wedding, and has not had me as a bridesmaid. Which I dont care about, but I however will not be throwing a tantrum over it, but I have asked why he isnt invited for context.