u/Spiritual_River6904

My mom is literally the most immature person I've ever met. Last three times I saw her, she made me feel suicidal afterwards, and last time she saw me she didn't even get permission to see me on that day.

Called her up to tell her how I feel. I feel like explained myself pretty goddamn well, telling her I was suicidal and wanting to self harm, and literally the first thing she wants to do is argue with me, explain that she HAS to visit sometimes to maintain the house. Like, bitch, I just told you I wanted to kill myself and you're worried about that.

I know exactly what I want to do, and that is to get a restraining order immediately. However, society frowns on this, and I hesitate for that reason.

Literally just want to cut myself right now, someone help me.

Has anyone gotten a restraining order before? How did that work out?

Hey everyone,

My diagnosis is either bipolar with psychotic features or scza-bipolar type (one of the two).

I've been on clozapine for 12 years. I started around 300 or 400 and now down to 175 (all self directed). Have relapsed just a few times, last time was around a year ago maybe a few years ago, don't remember. I am doing stunningly good right now, just a slightly bad sleep schedule.

On supplements now which help so much, helped with my affect and everything.

My last relapsed happened at 150 (it was a fast reduction from 200 to 150 or 175 to 150), and I was not on supplements at the time. I just ordered liquid clozapine for the first time.

Obviously so many details to add, but wondering if there's anyone who tapered down to super low or zero clozapine out there.

I am a basically a health/stabilization expert compared to the average person at this point.

If you don't believe in lifestyle and supplements, don't bother commenting.

Btw, my goal right now is to get down to zero clozapine in two years. Will probably consult a psychiatrist (not my current one), maybe Doerring's TaperClinic.

Anyone do something similar before?

My dad is a weak loser who depends on me emotionally. Suddenly it feels like I am the parent here.

I notice that my spontaneity for life dwindles sometimes because I’m feeling him behind me overreacting to my every move.

Sometimes, it makes me angry and then I get caught up in it.

It’s always been like this. Im 32 now.

How can I learn to live without this burden?

In sort of a passive aggressive way. It really scared me. I gave up therapy because I felt I was wasting my time and actually getting worse.

Will probably go back to therapy and just ask for more directed focus on my main problems.

Literally this is so weird idk how to deal with this. Tends to pop up in my mind when I’m exhausted and burnt out. It’s somewhere deep down in there.

Any advice? How did people deal with this kind of stuff in the old days before therapy was a thing? Cuz if i traveled back to that time, I would literally be so done with life.

Thanks for any replies and plz be nice. (And if it’s too long Im not gonna read it.)

I noticed a lot of push and pull dynamic with a lot of estranged relationships.

I am a black and white thinker though and really want a restraining order against my mom. Not seeking this out of hate or instability, it just seems like the logical thing to do that will make me happy.

Anybody here have experience with restraining orders?

Edit: Please don’t make assumptions about my situation based on my tone. My relationship with my mom is bad, I’ll just leave it at that.

I planned on being estranged from my mom.

After about a month, she messaged me through WeChat (not blocked her at that point) saying she need to deal with some Wi-Fi installation at the house. I gave her chance. When I finally saw her, she was very polite and happy to see me.

She managed to weasel an opportunity to see me a second day in a row (meeting at the house again). That time, she was completely impossible to deal with, texting me at 7 in the morning, disrespectful (like before), and infantilizing me.

I'm a little sad that her ability to be civilized lasted no longer than a day. I want full estrangement, that is easiest. However, just wondering if people out there set boundaries that keep their parents in their lives. Such as having dinner outside the house on a weekend, or something like that.

As scz or szc-a, and then transitoning to bipolar 1 diagnosis? Did anything change?