u/SpiritusExAaron

I can't sleep partially because it constantly feels like I have to go to the bathroom only to sit down and nothing will come out. It is to the point I have to strain even though I know you're not supposed to strain. How do I relax enough or adjust my diet or whatever so that way I can sleep again?

Also does it sound like I have a pelvic floor issue? Been constipated for a good month now with fiber and water not really improving. It keeps getting worse, less and less poop comes out each time now even though I eat about the same amount. I experience bad stomach pains or bloating. When I do go, it feels like there is still stuff left in my bowels even after I'm done. I have to strain in order to get "all" the poop to come out, requiring me to be on the toilet for a long time.

Also it feels like it's getting harder and harder to actually push out my poop but could also be due to my lack of sleep not letting my bowels rest which ironically is caused by my bowels. I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss

My doctor won't help me because I got a colonoscopy and it turned out fine. But I want to be able to see a pelvic floor specialist or something. I can't keep going on like this. Feeling like I have to go like almost every half hour or so, purposely ignoring it at times just for the peace of mind. When I do try to go, either nothing, gas, liquid drops or only a bit of poop come out. But it feels like there should be more.

Sorry if I am a bit rambly. Again. No sleep

(This was the rough draft of my testimony I had written out for getting baptized this coming Sunday, if I can)

I was raised Christian by my mom and dad and came to the faith originally when I was 5 years old but I fell away as a young adult, feeling like I lined up more with the world. I was mad at God for making hell, thinking it was an unjust punishment for fun. I was never an atheist. I called myself a misotheist where I believed in Jesus and that but hated him.

I did my own thing for quite a few years, making my own rap music and writing fiction stories. I engaged in drinking, doing weed and most important to me at the time engaging in the desires of lust. Lust was the main sin that I was attached to.

I struggle with anxiety and OCD and one day my OCD got really bad about a past sin I committed against loved ones that I felt really bad about. I couldn't move past it so rather than dealing with it the way I thought God was calling me to deal with it, I ran away by asking for medication. When I was on the medication, I started to experience really bad bowel issues, where I'd have to go to the bathroom multiple times a day. And then my throat acted up to where food and water would get stuck in it.

I had doctors look at it and run tests, they didn't find anything major. I was willing to accept that this was just the new normal but the bowel and throat issues got worse and worse until eventually I developed severe constipation to where there would be times I had the feeling to go but either couldn't go or it would require straining. This straining made things worse.

I tried to reach out to doctors for help but my previous tests being relatively clear means they didn't take me seriously, thinking it's all mental. So ironically the medication I was trying to now stop taking as I believed it was causing the issues was the very same medication everyone wanted to keep me on. The very cursed medication I originally used to run away from the OCD guilt of my heinous sin. It feels like divine payback.

Even my caretakers are kicking me out, not wanting to deal with my problems anymore. I drove one of my friends away, thinking I'm crazy and another friend doesn't trust me for some reason.

So lonely, isolated and sick, I turned back to God. I feared hell and paying for the sinful life and selfish person I had become. I still had issues with God and rules he set but I decided that I wasn't really in the position to argue with the almighty.

I grew sicker and sicker but also more and more knowledgable in the bible and it's history as I did a lot of research on the ancient context of scripture, it's meaning in the original Greek and Hebrew and what the 1st century Christians likely believed and practiced.

I learned the reasons why God had certain rules in place and why there was a hell. Why I was the problem, not God. How the evil in the world was due to people being selfish, not God. I learned to look at God more as a platonic source of good that can't physically be in presence of evil and that's why he took sin so seriously. It was not God who couldn't let us just have a bit of fun. It was us who became blind to how much even our small actions affect others.

Seeing God this way allowed me to not be so angry at him and see that this broken world was not his fault, it was ours. But I still felt like I'm on my way to hell if I didn't shape up and repent of all my wrong doing. I felt in my heart, Christianity isn't just something you believe, even demons believe and they tremble, it is about what you do too. If I wanted to avoid hell, I would actually have to follow God's commandments. This included keeping Torah as I now observe Sabbath and I eat kosher.

I turned from drinking and weed, as it basically wrecks the body and/or brain.

I also repented and turned from my lust, learning how it is gross and basically just objectifies people, not allowing me to see them as living beings made in God's image.

I developed a new issue to where I have trouble sleeping, either due to the unaddressed throat issue making breathing more difficult or my bowels keeping me up at night. Sleep deprivation lead to my my bowels not being able to get the rest they need, making constipation worse. Little or no sleep, difficulty eating drinking and having to use the washroom a lot are where I am at today.

And you can't go very long without sleep without dying.

I often wonder why God doesn't just heal me but I think I have accepted that maybe God has decided my time is up and this is my last call to repentance. The doctors might not be able to help me because God doesn't want them to help me. Maybe I should focus on the next life instead of trying to persevere this one. He has used my broken state to draw me closer to him, to really delve into his teachings and learn his ways. I have been feeling convicted by God to give up a lot, including technology, and although I'm not perfect, I have changed quite a bit in my life.

From a drinking lustful party rapper to a studied religious history buff Torah observant Christian who tries to follow the original Christianity the first Christians practiced.

I turned to Jesus as while everyone else has given up on me, he hasn't. He is all I have left. He has given me hope I might be healed but even if he doesn't heal me, he has used my sick and tired state to draw me near to him.

I am getting baptized to be obedient to Jesus's commandment to do so. To be blessed by the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. To dedicate my life to him and learn to follow in his ways. To be more like him.

I still get anxiety about death and going to hell but I hope that God will understand I am trying to follow his ways and grant me access to heaven, even if I haven't repented from absolutely everything.

I have learned that a long healthy life is not guaranteed and God calls us all to repent before it's too late. I hope I am taking my first steps today towards eternal life.

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this but Im really anxious right now and am nearing the end of my life with my physical health. I feel like God is convicting me to give up my Moto G phone because I technically violated the terms of service and the "rights to use software automatically terminates" clause in the legal section of the phone means I'm technically not allowed to use those things anymore. I try hard to not break copyright stuff anymore but it's technically already too late for me.

The thing is, I'm poor and in poor physical and mental health and I kinda need my phone for emergencies and entertainment. I would go crazy without it. Am I really supposed to give it up just because I violated a few rules that technically disqualify me from even posting this message?

Am I hearing from God or is it my anxiety? Are there any Christian here that can help me? How do you guys reconcile the fact that even probably most of you have even violated the terms of service in some small way and are technically not allowed to use certain things?

I'm really anxious right now and am nearing the end of my life with my physical health. I have tried to turn back to God recently but I struggle with sin. I try my best to keep Torah. I use Saturdays to learn about God and listen to my audio book bible. I refrain from pork and such. But I have a bit of an issue.

I feel like the Lord is convicting me to give up all my social media, computer, phone and all that because I technically violated the terms of service and the "rights to use software automatically terminates" clause means I'm technically not allowed to use those things anymore. I try hard to not break copyright stuff anymore but it's technically already too late for me.

The thing is, I'm poor and in poor physical and mental health and I kinda need my phone for emergencies and entertainment. I would go crazy without it. Am I really supposed to give all that up just because I violated a few rules that technically disqualify me from even posting this message?

Am I hearing from God or is it my anxiety? Will God send me to hell if I continue to use my phone and Google Play apps? Would that count as being unrepentant? How do you guys reconcile the fact that even probably most of you have even violated the terms of service in some small way and are technically not allowed to use certain things?

I'm really anxious right now and am nearing the end of my life with my physical health. I have tried to turn back to God recently but I struggle with sin. I feel like the Lord is convicting me to give up all my social media, computer, phone and all that because I technically violated the terms of service and the "rights to use software automatically terminates" clause means I'm technically not allowed to use those things anymore. I try hard to not break copyright stuff anymore but it's technically already too late for me.

The thing is, I'm poor and in poor physical and mental health and I kinda need my phone for emergencies and entertainment. I would go crazy without it. Am I really supposed to give all that up just because I violated a few rules that technically disqualify me from even posting this message?

Am I hearing from God or is it my anxiety? Will God send me to hell if I continue to use my phone and Google Play apps? Would that count as being unrepentant? How do you guys reconcile the fact that even probably most of you have even violated the terms of service in some small way and are technically not allowed to use certain things?

I live with a room mate and we share the bathroom, including toilet paper. Do Torah Observant Christians have to follow the no tear law for toilet paper? Or is that specifically for orthodox Jews?

I'm getting the OR_FGVEM_20 when I try and purchase something with my Paypal on Google Play. Does anyone know what it means? My Paypal is simply linked to my bank, not a card.

I'm getting the OR_FGVEM_20 when I try and purchase something with my Paypal. Does anyone know what it means? My Paypal is simply linked to my bank, not a card.

Had the scope. They found nothing. Had solid log poops about 3 times a day. Now after the scope things were still pretty "normal" (figured it was just IBS) but now I have to poop like all day and the poop that comes out is thin. Also feels like it doesn't come out all the way/and or I feel like I have to go again like 5-10 minutes after I already pooed if only to have a small amount come out.

Doctors think I am fine because of the clear colonoscopy but was before this thin barely any stool thing was going on. Has anything similar happened to you guys? Should I get retested?I couldn't even sleep well the other night because of how much I had to go.

Had the scope. They found nothing. Had solid log poops about 3 times a day. Now after the scope things were still pretty "normal" (figured it was just IBS) but now I have to poop like all day and the poop that comes out is thin. Also feels like it doesn't come out all the way/and or I feel like I have to go again like 5-10 minutes after I already pooed if only to have a small amount come out.

Doctors think I am fine because of the clear colonoscopy but was before this thin barely any stool thing was going on. Has anything similar happened to you guys? Should I get retested? I couldn't even sleep well the other night because of how much I had to go.

Had the scope. They found nothing. Had solid log poops about 3 times a day. Now after the scope things were still pretty "normal" (figured it was just IBS) but now I have to poop like all day and the poop that comes out is thin. Also feels like it doesn't come out all the way/and or I feel like I have to go again like 5-10 minutes after I already pooed if only to have a small amount come out.

Doctors think I am fine because of the clear colonoscopy but was before this thin barely any stool thing was going on. Has anything similar happened to you guys? I couldn't even sleep well the other night because of how much I had to go.

I guess I actually have IBS. Unless the colonoscopy missed something due to incomplete evacuation of the colon.

My question however is how normal is it in IBS to have entire days in a row where you get pencil thin stool and barely anything comes out but you feel like there is stuff still in you after you go poop?

Like I keep getting signals like I should go to the bathroom only to either get nothing, small bits or rarely little pencil thin stools to come out and the feeling like I didn't empty all the way happens.

Could this be a partial bowel obstruction or is this normal feeling with IBS? Stomach also hurts to, feels like my poop is stuck but when I try and go, not a lot comes out.