u/SraCatLeopard

Hello. I'm seeking some advice. My grandfather, (My Mom's father)has been diagnosed with lung and bone cancer at 80 years old. He has chosen not to do chemo but may try radiation. I call him once a week or so to check in. We live 4 hours away from each other. He asked for me to bring my teen and tween to visit before he gets too sick. I tell him maybe, when I can. He wants me to go on a Saturday and come back home on a Sunday.

Backstory: I witnessed my father's sudden shocking death from cancer 4 years ago and its given me severe PTSD and a fear of hospitals. I have nightmares because of it as well. My children witnessed him falling own in the process of dying. And they have been in therapy due to it.

One year later, I was with his father, my Dad's father's, death from cancer. He was at home surrounded by loved ones. I stayed at his home for a few days to help care for him until he died. It didn't affect me until a few months later and had to have my medication adjusted.

One year later, last year, my Mother's mother passed from cancer. I wasn't present and didn't go to her funeral. It doesn't affect me as much.

My therapist has told me not to go visit, it will be so bad for my mental health. But I have this horrendous guilt.

My Grandfather doesn't understand this PTSD and that if my teen and tween visit, it will bring up memories of them witnessing my Dads first process of his death.

A part of me wants to say "Fuck it. Take the mental health bullet and go visit him one day by myself. Even though my therapist recommends not to."

Or "Just dance around and avoid visiting him and make up stupid excuses for why I can't visit."

Thanks for any advice.

I had an interview with a nearby clinic last week. They are growing quickly and need a credentialing specialist to help. I have about 5 years experience. Mostly Medicare and a few payors. It was with two women. Woman A met me first. She had me fill out a paper application and then shut the door in my face when I stood up. The way she acted, I thought I had to follow her to another room for the interview. So I sat alone waiting for 30 minutes for her to come back to look at the application. (I already filled out the information online the day before)

She came in with Woman B who was the office manager.

Woman A asked a couple questions. Woman B took over the interview. She was asking in depth questions about how many providers I've worked with, which software I've used, exactly what I did and how I logged into portals.

She was explaining how she expected the office work ethic to be.

"Look. We ask you how was your weekend, and Happy Monday and all that. I'm hard. I'm not a Nazi!" "But when you are here, we dont lock your phone in a box. But it shouldn't be out for any reason." "You are here to work." I was shocked. I just said "I understand." And I understand not having your phone out. I would comply with that. But she came off super harsh and Karen-y. She even had a Karen haircut. Super short in the back and long in the front.

Should I report this manager to HR? It bothered me.