How can I change?
I'm a 16 year old in high-school and looking for some change because I'm tired of the way I am. I'm always social but also closed off, if that makes sense? I was bullied up until 9th grade I don't want sound like tommy tough knuckles but ever since I've gotten into fights and winning not many people mess with me anymore. I enjoy having some peace at school but that also comes with having to put on a "persona"
Not trynna sound like a loser, It's hard to keep up with this persona so people don't mess with me. It works but I hate trying to be intimidating at school or anywhere. It doesn't sound surprising but I don't talk to girls because of it. I'm invisible to them or just some dude who gets into fights. Girls also don't talk to me because of it. I'm kind on the inside and want to be noticed.
I want a girl who can see though the persona and tease me about my imperfections. Instead everytime I see or talk to a girl my age, I freeze up and get nervous because I don't know what to say. I've been lonely for so long that it's hard for me to talk to girls. My friends ask why I don't talk to any girls but I just tell them I'm not interested but that's a lie. I want a relationship with someone so bad, it's not even I just want to be in a relationship. I just want to be loved.
Again not trynna sound like an loner loser but how can I overcome this personal problem?