u/Status-Temperature74

Hi there! I'm 29 and have always struggled to find comfortable office shoes. I have a pair of cheap, flimsy flats that on their last leg. I have no idea what brand they are (it's worn off) or where I got them (honestly it could've been somewhere dumb like Shein years ago).

I've done a search on this subreddit but I find most of the posts are about women's favorite pumps/heels.

Some info about me and my shoe preference/requirements:

• I'm not allowed to wear open-toe or open-back (which sucks because I hate wearing shoes at all - I like to let my dawgs breathe).
• A flat is definitely preferred but I don't mind a small heel
• I work in a hotel as a catering manager/event planner for our full-service conference center. I'm mostly at my desk, but do sometimes have to jump in and help the banquet team during busy days, as well as giving site tours to clients. Having flats that stay on my heel is a must, and it's a bonus if they aren't super slippery on a wet floor (my current pair is quite slick)
• While they must stay on my heel, I also don't want them to dig in to my heel.
• I'm not a very fashionable person, so I'm not one to spend much on clothes and definitely not on shoes. Budget friendly is highly preferred :)

Thank you in advance if anyone has a brand they love!

Finally, after 11 months, we have a signed stipulation agreement!!!! He's getting more than he deserves considering our situation, but I am so excited that this book is finally being closed. In a few short weeks or less (whenever the documents get filed by the court), I WILL FINALLY BE DIVORCED!!!!!

Cheers to our next chapters. I know many on this sub aren't as excited about their proceedings as I am. Even if it's been dreadful, and regardless of your divorce warranting an "I'm sorry" or a "congratulations," I hope some of you get to feel some joy and peace when it's finally over. I'm so relieved.

Ugh. My (30F) stbx (32M) is the one who filed. Almost a year ago. It was mutual but I honestly never expected him to do it because of the way he operates. He never keeps his promises or does what he says he's going to do. Never follows through. Lots & LOTS of talk, very little action. So I'll admit I was surprised when he found a lawyer and filed so quickly. However, case & point, it has now been dragging on almost a year because of his poor communication skills and procrastination. He's almost incapable of meeting a deadline. I submitted my financial information immediately - within an hour of us both receiving the documents from our representation. It took him ~2 months to do his. Then we had a stipulation agreement that took 3 months for us to hear anything back from him about, even though he knew what it was going to say because it had already been discussed. We were supposed to have a mediation this morning, which finally got on the calendar after a month of me waiting to hear when it would be scheduled, and got scheduled about a month ago for today. My lawyer calls me 30 minutes before the meeting to say that his lawyer is sick and we are now rescheduling (thankfully still for this week). My lawyer also implied that his lawyer is making it seem like she hasn't heard from him in about 6 weeks. My lawyer is being so apologetic about how long this has been dragged out - we/I have submitted everything on the same day as it has been requested and then we're at his mercy for however long he decides to take for his part of it. So annoying. I'm so excited to be completely removed from him. Part of me wonders if all this effing around is just another one of his power trip manipulation strategies. Thanks for reading - just wanted to vent. We don't have kids or pets and agreed that we would both keep what we both had individually before getting married. The only point of discussion is regarding the house that we bought just about a year before separating. There's absolutely no reason this case should've taken this long. And now I have to wait yet another 4 days for a meeting that I've been counting down the days for the last 2 months. UGH!!!! He disappoints me even in divorce. Lol

Sorry, long rant post ahead but seeking some insight. I (28F) am in the middle of divorcing my stbxh (30M). We were only married for ~18 months before separating, and together about 4 years before marriage.

I feel like my attorney is not doing anything. I've had contact with her twice in the last 3.5 months. The last time I sent an email asking for an update, it took 8 days to get a response (after a second follow up). Then we got a phone call scheduled, for which she called me 10 minutes after the scheduled time and admitted immediately that she forgot she was supposed to call (not sure what kind of calendar/scheduling system a $300/hr attorney uses, but I would assume it's something with the bandwidth to offer reminders when something is supposed to be happening right now).

Also on this call, she said she thought she forwarded me an email from stbx's council and that it must not have delivered. There is literally no way she sent it... I've been twiddling my thumbs thinking it was my ex's side that was delaying things, and turns out my attorney had something from them in her inbox for at least 2 weeks without my knowledge.

The purpose of the call was to discuss this email that she neglected to send me. It contained stbx's request; an edit to our stipulation agreement. He was fine with everything, except for what we are doing with the house, which I thought we had already agreed upon.

We bought the house about 6 months after marriage. My mom helped us substantially with the down payment. She gifted us over 75% of the total down payment. 20% of the down payment was my money, and the remaining 5% came from my stbx (I realize that since we are married it is all "our" money, but the money I contributed came from accounts & CD's that were set up before we were even engaged, so I'm calling it mine for the sake of it's source).

The reason my mom helped us with the house is:

1. she has always been extremely frugal and financially stable. And I am her only child. I am very fortunate to have been born to someone like her, and I realize that and have always vocalized that I'm aware that I am more fortunate than most to have a family member who is willing to provide assistance in this way.
2. the housing market, frankly, is ass. To be clear, we would've needed her help no matter the price of the house, because of the current cost of living. We would not have been able to buy anything without someone's assistance. We make decent enough money, but that just isn't enough to buy equity right now.

We would not have been able to buy without her. And she would have never given us such a large amount of money if there was no house to buy. It's sort of a catch 22.

So now, my stbx is trying to get 50% of the equity that is on the house - which includes $70,000 of my mom's money. We have documentation that, while the money was gifted to both of us, it is stated on the document that it is to be used in the purchase of the home. She didn't just give us cash to do whatever with. The only reason we have any equity at all is because of her. So now stbx is thinking that he should get half of that 70 grand, which would be a 700% return on his small contribution to begin with.

My problem with my attorney is that I explained all of this to her and seemed to not really care to put up any argument about it. She has seen the documentation that states what the money was for. Her attitude was "that's what he wants to I guess it is what it is" and my opinion is he's trying to steal this money and take advantage of my family member's financial status

Am I crazy for thinking she isn't doing a damn thing for me??? I wasn't trying to get any money out of the house because I would be taking it from my mom just like he is trying to. It is not about the money for me. I had already accepted that I was likely not going to see any of my own investment, let alone anything that she gave (she already gave it to us - IMO, not returning it is like taking it twice)

Also my grandpa is a judge and he said the #1 way to make sure your divorce attorney doesn't get any work done is to pay their retainer. Makes sense. He also said the first thing she should've done is get a court date - that doesn't mean we're going to court, it just means that's the day we'll be divorced. Having that date also encourages things to get done & filed, because there is a deadline. We have no court date and no deadlines.

I've already spent the $3000 retainer (which is wild since it feels like nothing is getting done) and if we do end up going to trial, I will automatically owe her another 7500 fee for going to the courthouse. I don't want to give her any more money when I feel like she has terrible communication skills and doesn't really act like she's in my corner as her client. Am I crazy?? Is it worth it to find someone else at this point?

I (30F) am a pool player and I recently got home from a national tournament with my pool team of ladies. Everyone else on my team is over the age of 55(f). Our captain, we'll call her Patricia, has always been problematic and I think I may be the first person to ever respond to her absolute nonsense.

On the last day of our trip, she sent a very nasty message to the group chat, lighting up 3 of her teammates, myself included.

Teammate 1 has some anxiety & panic attack issues, as well as heart problems (which make the panic attacks even worse as she is always concerned about stress on her heart), so Patricia said T1 is "too mental" for her to be around. There is a big banquet for closing ceremonies on the last night, and she told T1 that "you're not going to want to sit next to me tonight, wouldn't want to give you another anxiety attack!"

Teammate 2 has been very loyal to Patricia over the years, defending her to others, traveling to tournaments with her, and caving in to her phony "leadership." She told T2 that, because T2 was empathetic towards T1 regarding her health issues and previous personal attacks on T1, that she now sees where they stand as friends (literally feels like middle school - "you didn't take my side so F you" type mentality - even though there was only one correct side to "take" in my opinion). She also called T2 a follower that had been manipulated against her.

To me, she says she had all kinds of problems that she kept to herself. I told her she didn't keep them to herself, she told everyone. I had people showing me her messages about me, and that it was always written all over her face anyways.

In her message, she told us three to return our team shirts to her, accused us of spreading lies about her, and blamed us for her poor performance during the tournament. On paper, she's supposed to be our strongest player, but she was our weakest. She told us that she felt unsupported so it's our fault that she played bad. Even though she is the most unsupportive teammate i've ever had. She doesn't watch others' matches during singles events, she doesn't give fist bumps when people win games during team events, her own husband won a trophy this year and she made the comment "he still has a long ways to go" on social media.

In my message, I told her to take some accountability and basically mentioned all the things in the above paragraph about her being a generally unsupportive person. I told her everything out of her mouth is a backhanded compliment. It's her way or the highway. She told me I'm "lying out my ass" and then told me to go f*** myself.

Most of me feels justified in responding to her in the group chat because the things I said were things I thought she needed to hear. Another small part of me wonders if I should've ignored her message or handled it privately. AITA for calling her out publicly after she publicly attacked the team?

The title is essentially the question, but here's a little background & timeline:

My soon-to-be ex husband and I filed for divorce in September 2025.

In November 2025, I had a routine physical. When I was at the doctor's office, they were having trouble verifying my insurance via the information that I provided, and I said maybe I have the wrong number, the number from my old plan when I was taking insurance through my job instead of his. I thought they had resolved it but in early December-ish, I received a bill for over $300 for this routine annual visit.

Fast forward to March 2026, my attorney asked me if I was still on his plan or if I have gotten my own coverage (this was relevant to the financial affidavit process). I said I believe he has removed me from coverage, but I missed my open enrollment period so I will have to wait until the divorce is finalized to in order to get back on the coverage with my employer. They respond saying that he informed his attorney that he still has me on his coverage and will continue to do so until the divorce is finalized. I tell me attorney that, in that case, it is confusing that I received a $300+ bill for a physical. That was the end of the conversation.

Fast forward to today, May 2026, I was supposed to have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. They ask me to confirm my appointment and to provide my insurance information to update their system. I tell them I will have to check and see if I have the card at home, and if not I will have to reschedule (to avoid another situation like my doctor's visit). They ask if I know which insurance company it is. I tell them the company and explain that it my husband's plan, we are separated, and I have no access to information online to look it up. Then they ask who is his employer. I tell them where he works. They are able to look it up for me and inform me that my coverage term ended on October 31, 2025.

So my question is, is he allowed to remove me from health insurance coverage without my knowledge or without discussion? Although there sort of was discussion, in March, when he said that I am still covered even though I'm now finding out that I actually was removed in October? But as of March he told his attorney that I am still covered? Not sure there is any action to take and it likely won't affect the divorce anyways, but I'm almost fuming that I have unknowingly been without health, dental, and vision insurance for over 6 months.

I have been inconsistently working on a creative writing story that I hope to turn into a full novel some day. The main character's plot revolves around her recovery from hard drugs (I haven't decided on her drug of choice, was leaning towards meth?) and I want some of the story to be set in her rehab facility.

1. Is there such a thing as court ordered rehab?
2. Would love insight on the admission and discharge process, as well as typical length of stay (or is that determined by the individuals ability to complete the "program"?)
3. What kinds of therapies/activities would she be required to do at this place, and do these things differ between patients depending on what they are addicted to?
4. What happens when someone is discharged back into the free world? Do they receive any assistance for housing or employment? Do they have a PO? Do they have a "sponsor" of sorts or go to NA meetings to stay clean? (the point of her rehab plotline is that she does stay clean after this stint in rehab; it isn't her first time there)

Thank you

I (29F) moved out of my [our] house last July. My stbx is 30M. When I moved out, it was supposed to be just to get space for a little bit to figure out what I was missing in the marriage/what needed to change/why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I realized very quickly after removing myself from his presence that I wasn't going to go back and would not be able to reconcile any romantic connection that we once had. I expressed this to him pretty quickly after asking for space - within a couple weeks.

We went to one joint therapy session in the initial separation stage, but we had spoke on the phone prior to the session and were in agreement that the purpose of the session was more for understanding & closure on the ending of our relationship rather than trying to discover a path to move forward together. Once we are in the session, he did a 180 and made the counselor think that we were there to reconcile the marriage. It was actually humiliating and, I try to avoid using the term gaslighting, but I felt gaslit the entire excruciating hour. I got pressured into scheduling a follow-up session on the spot. I later cancelled the appointment and respectfully conveyed my feelings to him about the matter, which were that it was a waste of time and money (couples counselling is rarely covered by insurance because therapists can only bill insurance when there is a medical diagnosis) when I had already firmly made up my mind.

Fast forward to early September. He files for divorce. This was shocking to me, not because it isn't what I wanted, but because filing divorce papers is the only thing in his entire life that he has done in a timely fashion. This is where Reason #97 comes in. There was never a follow through. On anything. Always an elaborate plan. Always big words and stories and hopes and goals. Never an execution. So it was surprising to me that he actually accomplished a task in a somewhat timely manner.

Anyways, the reason I am getting so irritated is that is that our divorce is fairly cut & dry. We are young, no major assets or accounts besides our house (which my mom majorly helped us with), no children or pets, no debts. Because my mom helped us so much with the down payment on the house, the verbal agreement between him, her, and myself was that I would keep the house and my mom would then purchase the house from me.. Neither he nor I can afford the mortgage on our own, and selling the house traditionally on the market, after all the fees and closing costs, would've caused a loss of about $35,000 of my money and her money (he would've lost very little because he contributed very little). However, as I mentioned above, he is incapable of completing tasks by their deadline. We are approaching month 8 of paying a mortgage for a house in which neither of us are currently living. I am waiting on him to sign ONE document that states that he gets his down payment money back once he signs, and then he would also be able to stop giving me any money for the payment (I've asked for 40% of the payment, so I pay 60% plus all utilities). My frustration is, WHY is he not eager to get his check and stop giving me money???? It makes no sense to me. The aforementioned document was received by him/his attorney over 2 months ago. So my attorney and I have just been twiddling our thumbs for like 9 weeks waiting for him to return it. It's ridiculous. I finally had to text him last week and point out that dragging this along is costing us both money and that I would like to see some forward motion after this 2 month standstill due to his negligence.

Makes me wanna yell!!!! Just venting. I know this process is not always necessarily quick by any means, and I know the amount of time that has passed is nothing compared to what some experience when going through a divorce, but due to the lack of assets to be divided (we are each keeping what is respectfully ours), this could've been wrapped up months ago if it weren't for his untimeliness. It was the same in our marriage - never ever kept his promises or did what he said he was going to do. I'll be so glad when I am no longer tied to him. Also as I was typing this I realized that Monday was our anniversary and I feel nothing... so I guess that's a definite sign that I made the right decision.

Anyways hope everyone is having a good day today, tomorrow, and the next.