u/StayAcceptable3998

I am really not doing well. I think I messed up my trigger shot (2x Diphereline/Decapeptyl). I watched several YouTube tutorials, but I still didn’t do it correctly. I managed to get a leak between the needle and the plastic part. I guess I didn’t attach it firmly enough or maybe I pressed it too hard. There was no additional warning about this, and I had never done it before.

From that point on, I got extremely shaky and emotional. I had no one to call because the clinic isn’t operating at this time. I had my doubts about administering it myself, so at first I thought I should go to a hospital. But then I watched the videos, and it seemed okay to do it on my own. I understood that everyone administers it themselves.

There were several drops that I just didn’t get into my body. I had no one to help me, and I trusted myself to do it. Now I just feel so stupid and completely desperate, and I can’t understand how I managed to mess this up. I really tried to prepare as well as I possibly could, but I still managed to make a mistake.

It’s my body going through all of this, and I have borrowed money to pay for this. I also hate that I was trusted with something so important, but I understand that the whole process is treated as something I have chosen and am responsible for.

I just feel so alone and almost unstable right now.

I think this is happening mostly during my period and maybe a little bit before it as well, although I’m still not sure whether it is related to my menstrual cycle. I have these waves of emotional distress—strong feelings of desperation, not wanting to be here, and hating having to deal with people. Every problem in my life seems unbearable. It is so much pain that you simply don’t have the will to keep going. It is super intense.

I don’t think people generally go through this, or are they just better at dealing with it?

I also feel like there isn’t much real help because it all seems to be happening inside me, in my mind, so I don’t trust doctors to be able to treat it effectively.

I’m on my period now and feel horrible, and I just going to start hormone stimulation for my egg retrieval so that I can freeze my eggs. This was recommended because of my endometriosis (cysts on both of my ovaries).

Just venting...

I’m 28. During a regular check-up at the OB-GYN, I was told there were cysts on both of my ovaries. I then went to see a specialist, who told me they were most probably endometriomas, that my AMH is low for my age (1.4), and recommended that I freeze my eggs.

I’m single and grieving the end of my 8-year relationship with a man who developed psychosis. In general, I’m already dealing with a lot mentally, and now this.

Where I live, the insurance company covers three cycles of IVF, but egg freezing is only covered if it’s done before cancer treatment. So I’m completely on my own with this, and it’s a lot of money for me. I was even told I would probably need around three cycles to have a good chance.

I’m still kind of shocked. I’ve already been to several clinics, and it’s been incredibly difficult to compare the prices because everything is so commercialized. They have different prices for the medication, give slightly different advice, and it feels like they’re basically saying, “Here’s what we offer; it’s your decision whether you accept it or walk away.” But the “product” they’re selling is my fertility — my chance to have a baby.

I’m still so angry at a system that doesn’t seem to care that a woman has a medical reason to freeze her eggs. Apparently, it’s not “bad enough.” If I came back in 10 years with a partner, the insurance company would cover up to three egg retrievals as part of IVF, but by then it might be much less likely to succeed, especially if my ovarian reserve has declined further.

So I just hate this. I don’t understand why the insurance company can’t help at least a little bit now, when there is already a medical indication and time actually matters.

What is your experience?

What is the best and cheapest way how to fly from central Europe to Melbourne, Australia without self transfer (as the fligt tickets are expensive and we would be travelling with very small children)?

The flights can be from Germany, Poland, Austria, Czech Republic, Hungary...?

Do you have an idea, tips? Thank youu:))

I noticed that my ex-boyfriend had a transparent square patch on the inside of his arm.

Is it possible that it could be a treatment for psychosis or delusions? Do you know anything about it? Thank you.

I don’t ask him for details about his health anymore.

I already wrote here before, but no one replied, and it made me really anxious. So I am writing again. I don’t want to feel this deeply alone.

With the loss of my boy, I carry this guilt that I didn’t manage to schedule euthanasia. He died naturally at 2 a.m., and it wasn’t what you would call peaceful.

He was truly the center of my world for more than 9 years. He was a beautiful chocolate Flat-Coated Retriever — always happy, a little stubborn, but mostly in a funny way. He had such a strong personality, but he was also very sensitive to me. I feel like he was just so innocent, perfect, and loving, always wanting to make me feel good. I wanted the same for him.

Back in January, he was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma and a heart condition. He had surgery and chemotherapy. From before the diagnosis until this day, it has been a complete nightmare.

Over the past month, he got worse and had several episodes of collapsing, though he would bounce back after some rest. I knew the end was coming, but he still had relatively good days. He ate less, but he still drank water and was mostly just tired. We had medication for him. I monitored him constantly, and we were together all the time.

Last week, there were mostly bad days, so I knew the time was coming. But then he had a better day, so I waited. After the first major collapse, we called the local vet to schedule euthanasia, but when the vet came, we agreed that it was not yet the time because he seemed better again. I should have been firmer and understood that it was time. I was in such deep denial and still holding onto hope.

And then it happened on its own during the night. We had pain medication for him, but it didn’t work properly. He started breathing rapidly and never calmed down. Then he took a few final breaths and was gone. It was probably his heart — I don’t know. I stayed with him the entire time and kept hoping the pain medication would start working any minute and that he would simply fall asleep until morning, when we could call the vet. It was impossible to transfer him anywhere at this time.

I stayed with him constantly to watch over him, to act quickly, to never leave him alone since January. And I still failed. I knew it was essential to prevent this pain, but I failed. Everywhere I read, people recommend euthanasia earlier. I agree with that. I am so sorry that I failed him in that moment. I thought we would still have time. With this diagnosis, I should have acted sooner, but this whole situation is so cruel — there is hope, and at the same time there isn’t.

From everything I read, it feels like the only good thing I could have done for him was euthanasia, and I didn’t do it. It feels like I failed him, and I don’t know what to do with myself now. I feel horrible about myself, about how delusional I was, about how I should have known. I thought I was somehow prepared, but I still failed.

I love him, and I don’t understand this reality. It feels so lonely. The whole process has been so lonely for me, as the one responsible. And now he is gone, and there is nothing left.

This heartbreak has changed my outlook on life in general—and not in a good way.

I feel like I’ve been deeply traumatized by this kind of complete rejection by a romantic partner. Life is already hard enough, and when the hurt comes from someone I thought was safe, it just destroys me. I don’t trust life anymore.

Sometimes I can think about it more rationally, but I also have intense emotional outbursts where I feel nothing but desperation and deep sadness. I can’t understand my own naivety or the trust I placed in it. It´s like I cannot trust myself, life, reality. It’s frightening because I feel like this might break me for life.