u/Still-View

What is the deal with dosage calc in nursing school?

1. People seem to have so much anxiety about it when it's probably the easiest thing we are tested on.

2. Are there even nurses calculating their rates? The doc rx the dose, the pharmacist calculates the rate. Is this different at other hospitals?

I started on 10 mg to play it safe because I am pretty sensitive to almost everything and have had bad experiences with SSRIs in the past. After two months I felt better. I felt more confident, more focused, and less anxious. My IBS was SOO much better and my chronic pain was better, too. I still had some anxiety and rumination so decided to try upping the dose to 20 mg.

When I started 10mg, I felt a bit feverish, out of it, had some sleep disturbances and weird dreams, but that was it and dissipated after a few weeks. I'm now on my 3rd week after upping the dose. I have been having very bad joint and muscle pain, my IBS is back at it, I'm having trouble focusing, and my anxiety is not great. My symptoms were worse a week ago, but I'm basically where I was before I started.

I though maybe this is just what's expected after upping the dose but now I'm wondering if I somehow got a "bad batch" and was actually withdrawing. Have any of you gone through this cycle? Did it get better?

I can't tell you about all the times I cried. Agonized. Fell asleep in the fetal position with my head on a wet pillow.

I can't tell you about the many, many I times I sat in my car fighting with the urge to drive to you.

I can't tell you that every single I time I was ready to falter, you stopped it by telling me you were leaving again.

I can't tell you that I have never felt the way I feel about you, feel with you, with anyone else. And I've accepted that I will likely never find this with anyone else again.

I can't explain to you that the distance was love and respect. I've spent so much of my life asking people to stay. To love me. To see me. I don't think I ever had to ask you to love or see me, but I could never bring myself to beg you stay.

I can't tell you hard and painful it was to kill the part of me that wanted a future with you. That saw us as truth, inevitable. It was not a quick death.

I can't explain to you that asking me to consider a relationship with you again is asking me to put myself through so much pain. Asking me to raise the dead. It cannot be done.

Hello! I am soft-spoken but love to sing. Enjoy hiking, try to run a couple of times a week, also try to practice yoga every once in a while. I enjoy trying new restaurants and foods, going to concerts, watching old or indie movies, and documentaries. I have been VERY busy the past year or so so have not had a ton of time for fun things, but that should be changing in the near future. I can be a bit of a home body, but I do enjoy going out once a week give or take. I have every intention of being a life long learner. I enjoy surrounding myself with beauty and like my home to be a peaceful place.

Here are some things that seem to be a non negotiable for others or myself: I'm not into Taylor Swift, football, or Marvel Movies. (I can definitely get into women's sports, though.) I'm not going to be compatible with someone who calls themself a large child and does indeed act like a large child. I have kids. I'm not interested in dating anyone younger than 35. No conservative, racist, or anti-science bs. No tv in the bedroom. Okay that's out of the way.

Here are things I look for in a partner: likes to try new things every once in a while, enjoys hiking, adventurous palate. Doesn't mind my social shyness. Is communicative, compassionate, driven, but able to relax with me. Enjoys traveling. Is financially stable and responsible. Has an "us vs problem" rather than a "me vs you" mentality when it comes to relationships. Enjoys gardening (I may jump your bones on sight).

Divorce, leaving my house that I have put so much time into, splitting up my kid's family, less financial stability, less certain future, and being very alone. There is a lot I'm scared and anxious about but there are many things I am looking forward to:

1. I will finally be in my own space soon. In my nearly 40 years of life I have lived on my own for about 2 years. I will get to decorate however I want, don't have to clean up after another adult, and can walk around naked whenever I want (when my kids aren't home). Also, my very own bathroom!
2. I will start dating at some point. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it and my dating pool isn't exactly a sea around here. BUT, I'm also excited and trying to focus on that aspect.
3. I can start diving into my hobbies again without anyone to put me down or get in my way. I really can't wait to start cooking again. Maybe one day I will get to cook for a date.
4. My sleep schedule is going to be so much better.
5. My home will be peaceful for myself and my kids.
6. NO MORE PRETENDING OR HIDING!! I don't have to play house, be called "Mrs. ExLastName", or get questions about my "husband". I mean, I'm sure I will still get those questions, but there's no difficult to explain answers.
7. I'm also basically invisible to men now which is AWESOME.

I think anyone taking a chief officer position (and taking that c-suite pay) in a hospital should have to follow every type of job under them for at least a shift. Every floor. Including nights. Housekeeping, lab, nursing, techs, kitchen, etc., etc. A fucking MBA with zero relevant experience does not qualify you to make decisions that affect so many people. I'm so tired of the greed, lack of reality checks, lack of humanity.

Alright, that's all.

I have been on this subreddit for years and see a lot of women come on here saying a lot of the same things. So here is some reassurances (maybe ?).

1. You can be attracted to multiple people at once. You may be bi/pan and find a woman outside your hetero marriage attractive. That doesn't automatically mean you're gay or that you have to end your marriage. The question here is do you like your husband? Do you want to be married to him? You're allowed to end it. You don't have to blow it up with an affair or try to squeeze your sexuality into a box it doesn't fit into to to justify it.
2. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you do not have to be with a man. Period. You don't want to date men, wary of them, think they smell bad, whatever? It doesn't automatically mean you are gay. But you still don't have to be with a man.
3. I can't imagine anyone on here is going to tell you coming out is not worth it. It's hard. Hardest thing a lot of us have ever done. It's not going to fix every aspect of your life, but it's worth it.
4. Baby, we can't tell you what you are or how you feel. That is something you are going to have to figure out for yourself. But you can come here and read our stories and experiences and see if it resonates.
5. You also don't have to have all the answers or define everything. If you love a woman and want to be with her, go love her. Your heart doesn't care what label you choose, it's still going to love who it loves.
6. Ending a marriage is hard regardless of the context. Nobody goes into it hoping it will end one day. Having kids and intertwined lives makes it that much harder. It's not a break up, it's turning your life upside down in ways that don't affect you alone. It is a big deal, a big decision, and can take a long time to reach a conclusion. Do not let anyone tell you it should not be a difficult decision. Many of us will tell you we wished we had ended things sooner, but there are reasons it took so long. Don't listen to anyone dismissing the painful, difficult aspects.
7. If you are in your early 20s (I'd even argue <30), you are not late in life, you're just ... in life. It's totally expected and normal to be figuring out your attraction and sexuality at that age.

I hope this helps someone. I certainly don't think I have everything figured out (wouldn't that be boring), but I feel confident in these statements.

I tried to post something on the student sub but we aren't allowed to vent or make negative posts there (yay for toxic positivity?). It wasn't even nearly as ranty as this post. Maybe this is a better place for it anyway.

I worked as a PCT for years, am currently working as an LPN, and will graduate from an ADN program in a little over a semester.

I am just so tired. Disillusionment with healthcare, nursing, the patient population, my ability to make a positive difference, greedy hospitals, insurance, BS CHARTING OMFG. I didn't know I would also have to do so much creative writing. Never enough time to read through patients charts even if I get there early. Chronic back and joint pain, constant fatigue... and I haven't even graduated yet. I never have time to see friends. If I have time, I don't have the energy.

I went into this for several reasons: Financial independence and a way to make a better life for myself and my kids, a way to use my source of income to make a difference, and I am interested in medicine and biology, so the content is mentally stimulating.

I am a hard worker, I (am still currently able to) care about my patients and coworkers, and I am sometimes smart, but I feel like I'm being chipped away. I currently do not make enough as an LPN, and I have a feeling my facility is going to give me a low offer as an RN. I know my body is not going to be able to handle bedside for too long, but I'm seeing NPs who make less than RNs...

I am going to finish school. And I am not going to quit my job. But this is not sustainable.

Any encouragement or advice is welcomed. Maybe I'm just in a hole I can't currently see out of. Maybe I will feel better after graduation.