u/Still_Win_931

Guys, I am a dropper. I don't know what to choose. Can you suggest me.

I want to join in a dropper batch for jee. I know chemistry one. I want to know about physics and maths tution.

Plz help

I am seeing lectures of Eduniti and Physics Galaxy for physics. How should I make my notes

I am feeling very low right now. Two years ago, I got in a new pw vidyapeeth couching with scholarship in my city. Everything was all right like everyone, school exams and backlogs related problems like all normal aspirant. But their speed was not that fast. In 12th, starting was nice but then during or after summer vacation, their speed has increased and sometimes they are skipping concepts or not solving questions on some concepts just explanation. In maths, just concepts and some questions. In physics, fastly lecturing. In Chemistry, slow speed by which the syllabus got complete in November end. And as I was a regular cbse student, the projects, practicals and school exams not giving me enough time to study all this concepts properly. I love far away from school, so I have no friends near me. I feel lonely and alone. I have no real friends. And during end of November, my dad's side relatives(which are also our relatives) fought unnecessary with my mom and me. My father gave them all news about me and my study, I think they do that because to disturb my study. And they actually did. Then my parents fought. All this bullshit gets into my head and I can't concentrate on my studies. And I got a low score in jee and boards. My big brother recently told about me that he hasn't learned nothing this 2 years from couching. I know I have learned but if they destroy my mental peace at crucial moment, how can I be calm.

I was thinking to join in Neet jee durgapur couching and study 1 more year. And give improvement in boards as a private candidate and secured 90+ percentile in jee next year.

Recently, my boards result came. I got 66%, I was hard broken because these 2 years, I try my best to manage 4 days school per week, 2 days couching, 5 hr study per day. Before my jee, he and his side family fight with my mom and me. Then also during jee and boards, he made my life hell. Now because of him, my result has come poor in jee and boards. And he's right now blaming me and my mom for this poor result. Next year I will give improvement in boards and jee exam.

Guys, I really don't know how to handle my mind.

Yesterday my father called my elder brother who is doing a job. As I got 66% in boards he said cruel and harsh words to me. I am a pcmb student. My family always fights with each other, abusing each other verbally and sometimes physically. Before my boards they are doing this for 2 months that's why my jee percentile is less. And with so much going on in my head I give boards. First of all, my mind was struck by these negative thoughts and feeling low because I got less percentile. I gave jee mains April attempt but I got 69 percentile and in the January attempt, I got 58 percentile. I was a decent student I have confidence that I will achieve a minimum 80 percentile in January. I also have given wbjee and neet. As now neet is cancelled I have to give re-neet. And also before the January attempt, my father and brother tell me from 5 to 6 days to do non negative integer questions. As they were pressurising me, I did not recheck that. During my brother's time integer questions were non negative. So it is also a reason for less percentile. And now he is blaming me that it all happens due to me. He is or my father is not responsible.

I am feeling very low. Why do bad things happen to me?

Why was I born in this house? But I can't do suicide because my mother needs me. If I suicide everybody will target my mother.