u/Stock-Dragonfruit413

have a highly instinctive, non-visual, non-verbal brain (Total Aphantasia, Anendophasia, Spatial-Kinesthetic Direct Processing). My mind and body process everything entirely through spatial awareness, kinetics, and visceral sensation.
Recently, I have been working with someone online to find a new somatic baseline of safety. They were providing a high level of external structure and co-regulation, which allowed my nervous system to finally settle. We put external anchors in place, and it successfully became my new baseline.
However, during this process, I hit a point of severe physical exhaustion. My nervous system collapsed into a deep, hours-long dissociative freeze state. While my conscious mind was completely offline, my automated survival brain took the wheel with eerie, impulsive efficiency. It became deeply fixated on a core fear/anxiety, and in that hijacked state, it led me to cross a boundary with the person I was working with. They have rightly and safely ended our working relationship.
I take full accountability for this rupture. I am devastated, but I want to protect the progress I've made. My biggest challenge now is that the external "containment" and co-regulation I relied on are gone, and my system is highly vulnerable to a massive crash.
Because I have no internal monologue or visual imagination to guide me, standard mindfulness or mental "parts work" scripts do not work for me. I am looking for intermediate/advanced trauma recovery advice from this community:
How do you maintain a hard-won somatic baseline on your own when your primary source of external regulation is suddenly removed?

For those with Aphantasia or non-verbal processing, how do you catch the warning signs of a deep dissociative drop before the subconscious autopilot takes over?

What are your best heavy sensory, proprioceptive, or spatial-kinesthetic tools for creating internal containment and shutting down impulsive spikes safely?

I want to heal this safely and independently. Any resources, solo exercises, or insights would be greatly appreciated.

I have a highly instinctive, completely non-visual, non-verbal processing style (Total Aphantasia, Anendophasia, Spatial-Kinesthetic Direct Processing). My body reads and processes the world entirely through spatial awareness, kinetics, and visceral body sensation.

I have been working with someone online who was acting as an external co-regulator to help me anchor a safe, grounded baseline state in my body. Using external somatic anchors, we were successful, and I finally felt my nervous system settle into that new baseline.

However, during this deep processing, I hit a point of severe physical exhaustion and my system collapsed into a deep, hours-long dissociative freeze state. While my conscious mind was entirely offline, my subconscious/neuroceptive survival system took the wheel with eerie, automated efficiency. Driven by an intense spike of deep fear and anxiety, it impulsively acted out, resulting in me crossing a boundary with the person I was working with. They have rightly and safely set a boundary to stop working with me.

I take full accountability for this rupture, and I am devastated, but I desperately need to know how to maintain this new somatic baseline on my own without an external co-regulator.

Because I cannot use standard visual or verbal mindfulness tools, I am seeking SE-specific advice or resources:

How do you track the "felt sense" or catch the warning signs of a massive dissociative drop when you have no internal monologue or visual cues to alert you?

What are the best solo spatial-kinesthetic or heavy proprioceptive exercises to use as external anchors to stabilize a dysregulated system on your own?

Are there specific practitioners, books, or bodywork approaches that specialize in trauma processing for people who are completely non-visual/non-verbal processors?

Any guidance on how to safely navigate this neurochemical crash and stabilize my nervous system alone would be deeply appreciated

I have a highly instinctive, non-visual, non-verbal brain (Total Aphantasia, Anendophasia, Spatial-Kinesthetic Direct Processing). For a long time, I have been working with someone online to help me anchor my baseline state in Self using external, somatic anchors. It worked—I successfully established it as my new baseline.
However, during this intense process, I hit a point of severe physical exhaustion and dropped into a deep, hours-long dissociative state. While my conscious mind was entirely offline, a powerful, impulsive protector part took the wheel. Operating with eerie efficiency through pure muscle memory and subconscious drive, it became completely fixated on a deep fear/anxiety I had.
Because I was so deeply blended and dissociated, this part ended up crossing a boundary with the person I was working with. They have rightly and safely advised that they can no longer work with me.
I am devastated but I want to take full accountability and keep the progress I made. I need to know how to hold this somatic baseline on
my own without an external co-regulator.
Given my unique neurotype (no internal visuals or inner monologue—I process entirely through body sensation, space, and kinetics), where can I turn for solo IFS resources? How do I work with a powerful, automated "firefighter" part when my conscious mind completely checks out?

Any book recommendations, specific somatic exercises, or advice from practitioners who work with non-visual/non-verbal trauma processing would be deeply appreciated