u/StormWalker1993

They raised my dosage again. Lazy fuckers. So I'm sleep walking again. Apparently I tried to go to the kitchen but was going the opposite way. I live on the top floor of the building so my roof is slanted in some places. As far as I'm told, I hit my head on the roof then, as a response, I gave it a firm elbow strike. I can see that this is true because I have a massive bruise on my elbow and it hurts.

This would be funny but the last time they raised my dosage I ended up being convinced that the corner of the lounge was the toilet (luckily I didn't have a slash), was adamant that I needed olives from the kitchen.... But I also tried to strangle my partner because I thought she was someone else who was trying to kill me. that still fucking makes me feel sick about myself and haunts my dreams. "it's me! It's me!" I can't not hear that anymore.

I refuse to to take a bigger dosage anymore. I'm a fucking zombie again.

I fucking hate it. I'd prefer a fucking seizure than this.

Rant over.

This took a very long time to write.

Much love❤️

So, I'm bisexual and live on Santiago de Compostela and would like some LGBT friends. I'm English so that's why I'm using that language but I speak Castilian and Galego. I'm just using English now because I'm tired so it's easier to use.

Some gay, lesbian, trans ect ect would be nice to have because we can understand each other (no hate to the heteros btw!)

Basically, I'm just looking for some other absolutely bent people, enjoy life, be friends and make dark jokes!

So, I got another spam call today. I asked how they got my number and they avoided the topic. I asked who I should speak to to find out why they have my number. Shut down by the manager. I rang back q few times for a laugh, never got a straight answer.

I've never interacted with is business before.

+34 937003901

Have fun.

It seems that everybody else gets a trigger warning except epileptic people.

Jump scares and flashing lights? Ill just piss my pants and wake up on the floor. Thanks for that.

Everyone else gets trigger warnings but epileptics don't. It's not fair because, on a bad day, that could literally kill us.

Video games are properly good at that though. Not great but the best so far. I wanna know if there is gonna be flashes or jump-scares so I can predict them and be ok.

Like, on a bad day, I want to know if I'm ok to watch a documentary on netflix and not suddenly get surprised with SHOCK noises and BRIGHT FLASHING lights.

They come with trigger warnings but why don't they include epilepsy? FFS.

Rant over. Sorry.

I'm rather masculine (if you want to talk about chainsaws and tanks be my guest) but I love to be the bottom. Rail me into the 9th dimension but insecure about my masculinity when I'm around girls

And advice?

Like, I'm a totally blokey bloke but I also like it from behind. How do I manage this?

I've noticed that since my epilepsy kicked it's way into my life I'm WAY more likely to have an episode when my wife (I'm a guy) is ovulating/on her period. They kinda synchronise sometimes. Anyone else get this? Could it be a hormonal thing. It's also quite obvious that I may be at risk as my sweat starts to smell different too. Not in a good way. My wife can literally smell it on me and now so can I. But yeah, does anyone else have this?

So, I have BPD and PTSD and I'm an alcoholic. I'm really trying to stop but it isn't exactly easy. I've hidden it from everyone. Even my wife. I'm too good at hiding it. That's not a boast, it's a disgrace. I'm far too good at making one thing look like another. A blessing and a curse.

BPD doesn't exactly help. I'm very prone to addiction. I just want to escape or feel something. It's a very complicated thing. Just not to feel worthless or like there's nothing inside. I'm very introverted and get very uncomfortable around people I don't know or just social situations in general so being a bit drunk helps. I hate it. I'm killing myself slowly. It's awful. Trying to jump out of a window was actually easier.

Nobody knows about this because I'm a sneaky little shit.

If there's anyone out there that could hold me accountable and help me through this I would be beyond grateful.

I hope my fiancé doesn't see this.