u/StrawberryEggz

been trying to find a name ever since my egg cracked and after going through the list of girl names from my birth year narrowed it down to these two.

now that the crazy title is out of the way let me explain

I watched the fight club 4k remaster the other night, and if you if you haven't seen the film at the beginning there is a minor plot point about the main character going to a support group for people who lost their testicles to cancer.

and it got me thinking that not only would i not be upset if that happened to me, and I know its kinda messed up to say this, but in someway i wish it would cause that would force me to get my balls removed. cause I'm super bad at following through with things without external pressure.

so i guess i should start seriously considering orchiectomy lol

(also watch fight club if you haven't its a great film)

I'm sure some of this yearning is due to me being too afraid to dress in feminine clothes yet, but i've always loved the way women looked in "male" style clothes even before my egg started to crack.

I know i'm still extremely early in my transition (started hrt a little over 2 weeks ago) and it takes time but i'm just kinda sad that i don't know if i'll ever get to dress that way and still be see as a women

anyone else relate?