u/Street_Meeting_2371

Our 2 yr old toddler is set to have his "last" court ordered visitation with mom, with the next court hearing early next year. How do we as his foster parents memorialize (not the right word but kind of) this day for him so in the future he can have an understanding of it for better or worse?

A little background:
Mom unfortunately has not worked her plan.
Mom has come to maybe half the once monthly scheduled visits.
Essentially bc of the state our kiddo came into care, reunification wasn't likely (per the judge) but with her not working the plan at all it is almost impossible.
Prior to coming into care child was with various people so (according to SW and translator) he doesn't recognize her as his Mom/ shows little affection towards her.😩

We have asked and not received phone numbers/emails for other family members. Mom will get the communication book w/pictures and artwork from kiddo at visit.

We are foster parents of 2.5 yr old child and bio parents of a 4yr old. Our foster child came to us with a significant bi-lingual speech delay (spanish is his 1st language and the only language of his family.) Our understanding is he was rarely outside and when/if he was spoken to it was always in Spanish. English and Spanish comprehension is great, his is very smart. I speak and read Spanish at home with him and we watch/listen to media in Spanish as well.

All that to say, our plan has always been to homeschool our 4yr old. With the arrival of our foster child and with the help of his team we have found a daycare that will support his speech therapy (speech therapy is in Spanish) and language skills. We have decided to also send our 4yr old to the same place.

Here is the issue- my partner feels it would be okay to just homeschool our bio child and send our foster child to school, I feel like that would send the wrong message/other a kiddo that already has come to us with significant trauma and despite his age sense the difference. I work hard on being trauma informed/ reading all the books, listening to adult adoptees and former foster youth's stories and this just feels like something that would hurt him in the long run, especially if reunification is not able to happen.

We have about 4 months before we would have to enter the lottery for the charter schools in our area (our zoned public school is 👎🏾) so there is time, but I was hoping to get others opinions. As an fyi, it would take a judge's order to be able to homeschool a foster child and in this case, it wouldn't happen.