I was abused by a group of adults when I was 10-17. But when it started it was just one guy, until he took me to the rest of them. For some reason, I love him, but I don’t know why? It makes no sense. I shouldn’t love him. He ruined my life. He took my virginity and ruined me and made me disgusting. So why do I love him, and how do I stop this feeling?
I (23f) don’t know if I’m asexual or just traumatized because when I was 10-17, I was raped by a group of adults repeatedly. But I’ve also never been attracted to anyone or been in a relationship. Ive never even had a crush before. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened to me or if it’s just the way I am. I don’t know if it’s because the rape happened during that age when you would start to explore those feelings and have crushes.
However, and this is weird, I had and still do have loving feelings, towards the first person who raped me, but I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because of trauma bonding, since I never liked him before and actually hated him.
It’s just all very confusing. Does anyone relate to this or know how I can figure this out?
I (23f) don’t know if I’m asexual or just traumatized because when I was 10-17, I was raped by a group of adults repeatedly. But I’ve also never been attracted to anyone or been in a relationship. Ive never even had a crush before. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened to me or if it’s just the way I am. I don’t know if it’s because the rape happened during that age when you would start to explore those feelings and have crushes.
However, and this is weird, I had and still do have loving feelings, towards the first person who raped me, but I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because of trauma bonding, since I never liked him before and actually hated him.
It’s just all very confusing. Does anyone relate to this or know how I can figure this out?
I (23f) don’t know if I’m asexual or just traumatized because when I was 10-17, I was raped by a group of adults repeatedly. But I’ve also never been attracted to anyone or been in a relationship. Ive never even had a crush before. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened to me or if it’s just the way I am. I don’t know if it’s because the rape happened during that age when you would start to explore those feelings and have crushes.
However, and this is weird, I had and still do have loving feelings, towards the first person who raped me, but I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because of trauma bonding, since I never liked him before and actually hated him.
It’s just all very confusing. Does anyone relate to this or know how I can figure this out?