have yall ever had a nonblack friend where you felt like they were secretly racist or in competition with you?
**have yall ever had a nonblack friend where you felt like they were secretly racist or in competition with you?**
i’m coming up on my one year anniversary of my friendship breakup and just wanted to reflect on some things. this girl and i had been friends for 10 years since high school. she’s a light skin indian woman and im a dark skin carribean woman, we’re both from nyc. she always presented herself as culturally aware and sensitive to different social topics. she has never said anything blatantly racist to me or about black people or any groups of people in fact. she seemed very open minded she also works in a field that helps marginalized people. but it’s like she couldn’t stand to see me win or shine. she had other people of color friends who were black and hispanic but she never treated them how she treated me
SOME EXAMPLES:
Copied everythingggggggg that I had or did (mannerisms, perfume scents, nails designs, my favorite color, clothing styles, just weird things like that)
competitive with male attention especially if i was getting approached more than her.
she would always bring up the fact that i didn’t know how to drive at the time and say things like “you don’t know because you don’t have a car”
discouraged me from getting a PHD and asked me why would i need one, she later apologized for it because she realized her mask was slipping and would expose how she felt about me.
very argumentative and would yell at me but would treat her other friends like that.
everytime i confided in her when im going through things she would tell me that im very negative but i had to listen to her and her problems and be supportive
told me that she felt bad for me that i have had such bad luck with men and shes grateful to be in such a loving relationship( her ex was abusing and controlling her for years and she hid it, i knew he was abusive but she always tried to make it seem like he was a great man to make me feel jealous since i was always single and never been in a relationship)
when i graduated grad school and had to complete post grad hours at an externship for my license she would constantly pressure me to go out and make me feel bad for not being able to due to lack of money, tiredness from my 2 hour commute to work on public transportation and also studying for my licensure exam. she would guilt trip me and say that im not spontaneous like she is and would compare herself to me and say that she goes out way more than i do. keep in mind, when she was in her abusive relationship he would have her on a leash and barely let her go anywhere without him calling or texting her 1000 times and she finally left him she started to go out and experience the world.
when i got my dream job and she barely congratulated or celebrated me and didn’t ask me how i was doing for my first year working there. (this is a job she wanted but didn’t get btw) so she would just talk about herself and her accomplishments without asking how im doing when i was struggling with my first year.