u/SubstantialAd3167

I need help - My MIL with mild dementia tried to come over tonight to sleep over after being here half the day. I told my SIL who lives with her hell no.My MIL forgets where she lives and she has been sundowning badly. She has decided to bring my husband and son over to their place tomorrow and wants it to be a regular thing to keep my MIL regulated. My husband and son are being essentially kidnapped from me in the name of dementia. My 8 year old is essentially becoming my MIL's comfort item. I don't know what to do or how to protect him. I haven't slept in weeks and we live in a 2 bed/2 bath condo. The other tricky part is that my MIL is a city resident while we live in the suburbs. I just need help and a way to protect my 8 year old.

How do you keep your sanity when you literally have no way to get away from your kid? A little context - Over the past year my childcare has disappeared due to aging parents. I work FT so it's impossible to be part of the "school/PTO" scene. 2 out of the 3 parents involved are now either really sick or in cognitive decline. I don't feel like my son is safe with his GiGI because she sundowns badly.

We literally have little money to pay a babysitter. They want $20+/hr but we can't afford that right now. We can barely pay our mortgage at times because of my brain cancer survivor husband's medical bills. (P.S. Superior Ambulance are assholes.) Other major bills like car insurance are coming up. We also have credit card debt.

My husband's retail job has an unpredictable schedule and it's impossible to plan anything. For example, we had Savannah Bananas tickets for tonight, but he got scheduled. We have literally not had a date night in a year. We live in a condo so it's not as simple as lock your bedroom either. I also work from home so I am literally a prisoner in my own house. He does not drive.

On top of that, my MIL calls like 20 times a day especially at night. She sundowns pretty badly. She is super anxious about my son and my husband. They are literally sitting next to me and she forgets they live here. My SIL and her boyfriend are DINKs and live with her. They send her to my place on afternoons to help her fight boredom but then she gets anxious and won't take an Uber home. A couple months ago, my father, who is being tested for dementia got deathly ill and needed a trach. He's ok now but can't be left alone due to fall risk. I am literally alone right now.Last time, my SIL was hanging out with friends while I'm dealing with her, my husband, and son plus work. I just need to get away.

Please don't say the school - I literally cannot get a directory or even a clear answer from my son on who he plays with.

On top of that, my client decided to make a change literally overnight and decided to sunset our account. I was redeployed to a different team which is great, but I can't get a straight answer if this is permanent. We are busy though.

All I want to do is see a movie. Do something. I just feel abandoned by everyone right now. I know I'm not desireable but can't I at least see The Odyssey?! (That movie is impossible for parents with young kids to see in the theater.)