u/Substantial_Act1980

I never craved pregnancy. I never envisioned myself growing and birthing a tiny human. I always wanted children but not from me.

Im 29f expecting my daughter around Christmas. So I'm 21 weeks now. I feel so much love for my little baby when I feel her moving. I feel so much love from my husband he takes care of everything and he's so excited.

I hate not having control of my body anymore. I hate thinking my body looks and feels disgusting. I hate how my mind is forgetting and now everyone looks at me and treats me like I'm crippled.

I never wanted to experience morning sickness or pregnancy cravings.

It's still as disgusting as i envisioned pregnancy would be. But I just love my little girl and I'm so excited for her to finally get out of me so I can love her and teach her how to be strong lady.

Has anyone else felt this way before?

Before the nasty accusations and court filings my step daughters mother had already started grooming and separating the children from their father.

Back in 2019, when regular coparenting was a normal thing, splitting birthday parties, sharing days, and communicating about the children regularly, my husband got a job offer in another city 5 hours away.

He talked to his children's mother about it if she would be willing to relocate since leaving our hometown was something discussed in the past together. She agreed! Saying that the girls would have more opportunity outside our small town.

We bought a house and moved our stuff. Got settled in and she was "looking for something" nearby.

She never did. Instead she got a new boyfriend and moved him in. For 2 years my husband drove back to our hometown every single weekend to spend time with the children. The oldest was only 7 at the time and she would cry to her daddy all the time how he left her and her sister.

She would beg him not to leave again. Then someone, i still have no idea who would've done it, called cps on their mother for child endangerment and abuse. Supposedly she was whooping the oldest and not feeding the children. She immediately blamed my husband for that. (I have a feeling it could've been the mother's aunt. i have no way of knowing)

We eventually moved back into our hometown.

A year later the mother comes back with a proposition to move to another city claiming "better opportunities for the girls" we were still financially recovering from buying and selling a house and living with family to get back on our feet. So we declined and said maybe later in the future.

Well the mother took the girls anyways. And the whole mess of court and accusations and alienation started.

Before the nasty accusations and court filings my step daughters mother had already started grooming and separating the children from their father.

Back in 2019, when regular coparenting was a normal thing, splitting birthday parties, sharing days, and communicating about the children regularly, my husband got a job offer in another city 5 hours away.

He talked to his children's mother about it if she would be willing to relocate since leaving our hometown was something discussed in the past together. She agreed! Saying that the girls would have more opportunity outside our small town.

We bought a house and moved our stuff. Got settled in and she was "looking for something" nearby.

She never did. Instead she got a new boyfriend and moved him in. For 2 years my husband drove back to our hometown every single weekend to spend time with the children. The oldest was only 7 at the time and she would cry to her daddy all the time how he left her and her sister.

She would beg him not to leave again. Then someone, i still have no idea who would've done it, called cps on their mother for child endangerment and abuse. Supposedly she was whooping the oldest and not feeding the children. She immediately blamed my husband for that. (I have a feeling it could've been the mother's aunt. i have no way of knowing)

We eventually moved back into our hometown.

A year later the mother comes back with a proposition to move to another city claiming "better opportunities for the girls" we were still financially recovering from buying and selling a house and living with family to get back on our feet. So we declined and said maybe later in the future.

Well the mother took the girls anyways. And the whole mess of court and accusations and alienation started.

​

Im 21 weeks pregnant. This is my first, and i went on a week long business trip and oh my man my stomach was stretched so much. After dinner was worse, I could feel my stretch marks coming in.

In pictures I took with my husband i look super pregnant.

When we get back home, my family was rubbing my belly talking to the baby "baby's getting so big".

That next morning I took the biggest poop and my stomach shrunk back to the size of looking slightly bloated. Like I'm not pregnant anymore 😭.

Yeah yall weren't rubbing the baby bump, yall were rubbing a poop bump.

Congratulations it's a.... 💩.

I have my next prenatal appointment coming up.

My oldest step daughter used to have a phone that she would take to both parents house. Well... my husband's family uses Life360 to use for emergencies. Him ,his mom, and his sister are the only ones on it.

His oldest daughter asked her grandma if she could have the app, without discussing it with her son, she installed it to this child's phone.

Now the familys purpose for life360 is not for malicious tracking. It's for situations where if his sister was meeting us somewhere and she said she left an hour ago and she's not responding to calls or texts, someone will check her location to see if she's OK. My husband is rarely on it and he didn't realize his daughter was added to the family group.

A few weeks later, hcbm filled a police report on my husband for stalking. The case was quickly dismissed and it was advised to remove the app on the child's phone. Which we did.

My husband told his daughter to only keep the phone at his house only and he was met with accusations of being controlling and manipulative by his 10 year old daughter.

Now as a step-mom looking at this situation from an unbiased pov, I can understand how this situation looks from a mother's side. I don't think the child should've had that app on her phone as I don't have it on my phone. She's always with us so if anyone needed to check on us they would see where my husband is at. But considering the hcbm did not have a discussion with my husband about it and went straight to filing a police report, shows her intentions in stirring up problems. Not to mention what she told her daughter in addition to make her believe her father is "controlling and manipulative" what 10 year old says these words unless they were taught it.

My stepdaughter wanted braces. She had a normal looking fully functional teeth. A couple were not aligned perfectly. Basically she wanted cosmetic braces. My husband pays for both children's insurances and dental monthly premiums. Mom doesn't contribute to those amounts.

During the dental appointment the dentist said she doesn't need braces so it's not medically necessary insurance won't cover it.

Hcbm said the child wants braces and my husband said no it's not needed.

Summer breaks were split June July. She had them the whole month of June and the oldest Comes back with braces. Cool her mother got them. No big deal.

Well their mother starts telling the coparenting counselor that the oldest really needed braces but her father won't go by their 50/50 medical payment agreement. The counselor received a copy of their order which specifically stated that all medically necessary treatments must be split 50/50 and paid out in 30 days.

He explained that the dentist told him it's cosmetic and it's not covered with insurance. Not only that but the mom took her to an out of network provider. The braces were $5000 and she wanted him to send her $2500 within 30 days.

The counselor agreed with the mother that he should pay his half even though he wasn't notified, she deliberately went out of network and it's cosmetic. He said "should I have to pay for my daughters nose job or botox in the future?"

Counselor didn't have anything else to say.

The mom would have private one on one sessions with this counselor and she was very biased and one sided.

My step daughter had her 13th birthday. She was scheduled to celebrate her birthday with her mom. (This happened right after the cps incident)

We made our plans to celebrate when she comes back with us which is what we normally do as part of our parallel parenting.

A few days before the normally functioning hcbm sent a message on the co parenting app that we are invited to her house to celebrate the child's 13th bday. The last 5 years we have never received an invite to anything! And we are in the middle of a very hight conflict custody battle.

On our scheduled phone call the child asked if we were coming to party and we told her we were planning a party for her already and we will celebrate when she comes with us. That upsetted her.

The day of her birthday, we tried calling on our regular phone call with the girls through the coparenting app and the call never went through. It never rang out never rejected it just said" call not available"

When we got the children back, the oldest demanded to her dad that we need to invite her mom because she was considerate enough to invite us. And she said he owes her that for not calling on her birthday.

We showed her the call attempt and she just shrugged it off.

This is another incident with manipulative alienation that's was used to turn the oldest against us.

I heard about brain farts and forgetting things but holy shit. My mind cannot comprehend numbers dates, time, sequences or number values.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I 27f am married to 33m and he has two daughters 12 and 8 from an abusive relationship. 50/50. Week on week off

His children were disciplined on not to talk about what goes on at their mother's house.

The little one would get shoved if she talked about her weekend with mom by her sister. Years ago there oldest had let it slip that she's not supposed to talk about her moms house with her dad. So now she's taught the little one not to talk about her moms house.

But we don't tell the children not to talk about what goes on in our home. We're not hiding anything.

We had an incident recently. My step daughter was showering in our restroom be cause her sister was showing in their restroom. She didn't lock the door and my husband came in our room and walked right in the restroom. He said "what the fuck" he shut the door and demanded to me why I didn't warn him his daughter was in there.

It wasn't my fault for not warning him in time. Our bedroom and bathroom doors are right next to each other. I didn't have time to.

The kids went back to their mother's and we get a call from cps for sexual abuse.

Me and my husband got interviewed about him washing the little ones hair and staring at his 12 year old daughters naked body.

When we got the kids back the oldest was cold with him and the little one tells us she's uncomfortable with daddy washing her hair. (The little one Asked her dad to wash her hair 3 months prior and my husband has been declining her recent request well before this accusation came about).

This is just one story of many during this custody battle.

Am I over reacting or expecting too much?

When we were first married he loved being sexually adventurous. But after a year of marriage I'm lucky to get intimate with him twice a month. I've talked to him twice about this and how I feel rejected.

I guess I just have a higher libido than him.

When I try to flirt or get touchy, he pushes my hand away. I get the message and I stop.

But now being pregnant, he won't even get hard for me.

He's still very attentive and affectionate. We hug and peck kiss all the time. He makes sure I feel rested and fed. He massages me anytime I ask.

I've tried getting pretty up for him and wear more dresses. That used to get him riled up. But I'm getting nothing.

I don't think there's another woman I've gone through his phone. There's no signs of him being sneaky. I just think he doesn't find me attractive anymore. And he has this obligation for taking care of me.

I've resorted to relieving myself with porn and I truly feel disgusted by it.