u/Substantial_Comb_359

Genuine question. Do we just tolerate problematic behavior until the child someday just stops? Are we not allowed to be frustrated or upset by our children’s behavior? Do we honestly believe there is no such thing as bad behavior? I’m asking because every time I post about behavior in this sub I get ripped to shreds because apparently requiring pro social behavior on the part of my child is crazy talk. I don’t think I’m required as a parent to tolerate being screamed at, hit, cussed out, and insulted every time I set a boundary or say no. Certainly no one else in my child’s life could be asked to tolerate such behavior. And then I get reamed out for not having ENOUGH boundaries. None of this makes any sense.

My daughter (8) is perfectly capable of being reasonably respectful and following rules unless I’m the one enforcing them. She is so disrespectful and it honestly wears me out. Like this evening she grabs a bag of cookies and tells me to open them. I say no because she is literally about to go to bed and she just rips the package open and grabs the cookies anyway. I said “why do you ask if you’re not even going to respect the answer?” She says “then I’ll just stop asking” in the snotty little know it all tone she has that just makes my head explode. I told her off for being disrespectful and went to take the cookies away from her and she runs off screaming and crying. Like what the hell?? And she told me I was greedy and selfish this weekend because I bought a cheap portable desk for working from home and didn’t get her a toy—mind you I don’t even HAVE a home office because she wanted a bigger bedroom 😒 I would NEVER have had the nerve to speak to my parents this way!!