Do men ever learn to listen?
It’s been 5 months since my ex moved out, following a 9 month separation. My divorce came through recently.
I have been testing the waters on dating sites and am finding the men I contact so incapable of having a proper two way conversation. It’s been really hard finding any men who are even remotely interesting or attractive at the higher end of 50s. And then when I email them I get blunted responses about whatever they want to say. I try and tell them about my life and my interests and values and they just ignore all that and tell me stuff they like or they are interested in. It feels like all they want is an audience for their life and their interests and I’m just there to make them feel seen and heard. One man just kept sharing his poetry with me which I admired but then I tried to talk about other things I was up to and he just ignored that and the questions I asked. So I didn’t reply. Felt like a bystander in his show. Ten days later he sends a message saying he wants to conclude things unless I’ve had an emergency to explain why I’ve not replied. Ffs. Then another guy, a busy doctor kept emailing short messages about what he’s reading and doing, not responding to my queues or questions. Met him and he was nice - he asked me out. He texted a few times but when I suggested meeting again he went quiet. I think he’s married. Another guy, very bright and another poet just bombarded me with stories of travel and friends and his love of nature etc but again never responded to what I said or asked. He was very polite and interested so I made a joke and he responded to all my questions but then the next 3 emails I sent got back completely unrelated replies including topics he was interested in like walking in woods, what podcast he was listening to. He did invite me to join him and his mate for a walk but he lives an hour and quarter drive away and I said I work and have ME so I need rest at weekends and a coffee somewhere local would suit me better. He doesn’t work and has a car and never offered to come over to meet me. Just said he was very disappointed I wasn’t available for the walk as he really wanted to meet me and make his summer shine. I then said look this isn’t really a two way conversation as we seem to be at cross purposes. He didn’t get it. I said thanks but no thanks - don’t like feeling like I spoke but nobody heard me!!
Has anyone else experienced this and felt men these days just have no communication skills or any emotional IQ or they think if they give speeches and dominate the discussion they will impress you. It’s really disrespectful and boring. What is wrong with them?!!