I live in Grand Rapids and I have been trying to find a cute book shop to work in as a part timer. A book store that isn’t barns and nobles or schuler . I have retail and customer service experience and currently work in childcare. My dream is to work in a cute cozy book shop but I can’t find any around me that are hiring. please help me 🥹🫶🏻🙏🙏
Hii I’m 21F and my partner is 27M, and we’ve been together officially 2 years but have known each other for a few years prior and were friends. Ever since this second year together I have been questioning our relationship. I’m just so confused and don’t know what to do this these thoughts and need an outsides prospective.
Let just start out by saying he is the kindest and sweetest person ever and I love him very much. He is my first boyfriend and first everything. We live together and have two cats. But I can’t stop thinking about leaving. He has some things I just can’t stand but I feel like that’s normal for relationships.
First, our sex life is nonexistent. I have a higher drive which is fine but I feel like he constantly rejects me and which again is fine I’m not upset on that but I can’t help it hurt my feelings. We have sex once a month maybe. And it’s always the same thing with me on top and it only lasts for less than 5 minutes. He is a bigger guy so lots of positions are harder for him but we did do others but not anymore. I would say I’m more on the chubby side but not big I’m 5’7 160 but I’d say I hold my weight in good places lol. We have so many talks about sex but nothing ever changes. He only haves sex on his own time which is normally when I don’t want too and I always want too so I hope that says something.
Second, I have to tell him EVERYTHING. If something needs to be done I have to do it or ask him in which he might do it but then ask him how to do it. It’s extremely frustrating. We’ve had talks about him cleaning up more cause he leaves everything out all the time. When I bring it up he says “I was never taught how to” which I’m over hearing it and started to tell him to figure it out which he does not like. Some small things like not throwing away trash not doing his laundry and not showering. He works a blue collar job and when he gets home he STINKS it took me two years to finally get him to shower everyday. But I have a feeling he doesn’t know how to shower properly. Which is definitely a turn off.
He’s always making excuses from his childhood and I understand everyone has their own traumas but his only thing is that his dad cheated on his mom a few years ago. I just feel like he’s an adult man who needs to get his stuff together and stop making excuses for literally everything.
Thirdly, I’m definitely more independent than he is. I can’t help but wonder what else could be out there for me and if I am just settling for the bare minimum. I love him very much he is funny and always supported. He help with money when I had to quit my abusive Job. Which I made sure before I did quit that he was okay with it. It’s just recently he’s thrown it into my face which I did not appreciate. I’m unsure if I’ve fallen out of love him with I still love him but why can’t I stop thinking of a life without him. And if I did leave where would I go? I don’t have a lot of friends or family I don’t exactly have a lot of money saved up due to not having a job for a little while. (I do have a job currently) I’m just so confused. Also the fear of being completely alone is scary. Or what if I never find anymore else who will love me. I know he loves me so much and I’m unsure if I could actually break up with him but I can’t stop thinking about the thoughts I have and how he doesn’t deserve that.
I’m so unsure on what to do and desperately need someone to talk to about this. I would love to just live on my own with the cats ofc and really find who I am and what I’m looking for. What if we get married and I can’t stop thinking of wanting to explore. But what if we break up and I want him back. So many thoughts in my mind please help a sista outtt!