u/SugarMeki

Im having this issue. My partner had a baby with a one night stand. They did a paternity test and its his. He doesn't want to be with her but the family insists on keeping her close to be close to the baby. They invite her over for the whole day - where she hangs out with his entire immediate family (mom, dad, grandma, sister and brother). Hes expressed to them how it makes him feel and they all seem pretty defensive on keeping it that way to keep the baby close. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to know this girl is spending the whole day with him and them. Right now I am long distance. They state she is part of the "family now" but I see it as just part of his life now, not family. He isnt dating her. It makes me not want to either. I dont want to compete with a pseudo-girlfriend who has a kid involved while I cant have kids.

I was always very petite and underweight naturally. I ate anything and everything and barely weighed >!90 lbs!< I was recognized as a cute girl who didnt have issues dating. Around 30 years I started putting on weight. I guess my metabolism slowed down. I wasnt exactly happy with myself so I yo-yoed and got my weight down from my most >!128!< back around >!118!<

Fast forward to two years ago. I met a guy online. Little did I know, he love bombed me over the year we talked and I ended up moving far away to be with him. I didnt know he was a narcissist, that he was a compulsive cheater, with every girl he dated, ever, or any of the other things that came. He would tell me he wasnt sexually attracted to me due to my stomach not being flat. I was always relatively confident, although working on myself. Hed poke under my chin. Hed constantly be on dating apps, tell me he wasnt sexually attracted to me - despite getting erections and rubbing against me in bed. I stayed 6 months. Hed make a lot of comments about my appearance and weight related things. I was not even considered overweight. There was a lot of mental and verbal abuse that went on and I ended up leaving because I was so depressed and I couldnt take it anymore. I felt horrible about myself.

This person has since told me that he doesn't care about looks or having the hottest girl and that he made a mistake and regrets it and wants to be with me. That Im the love of his life. Ive heard so many comments about my body and being made to feel like I am some below average looking girl. When guys ask me out, I decline. Im terrified to date and just feel like food make me so angry because it caused all of this. I also have ARFID, so eating salad or certain things I just cant get on board with it. I feel like the only way I can be beautiful to myself now is to lose a bunch of weight. I dont know how to be confident without doing that. How do you get past this and not go into a deep hole. Its such a terrible feeling. Life feels meaningless. While I lived there, hed tell his co workers, friends and family I was his wife. I found it all so mentally confusing and exhausting.