u/Suitable-Warning-982

About a week ago, I texted a girl I had a wlw relationship with almost 4 years ago. We ended things really badly and hadn’t properly talked since then. I suddenly told her that I missed her, and she said she missed me too.
The thing is, she has a boyfriend now. I didn’t know this when I first texted her. After we started talking, I found out she was in a relationship. She also told me she’s confused about how she feels about him.
I’ve been pretty clear that I still have feelings for her. She doesn’t reject me or tell me to stop, and she agreed to meet me before I leave town for a while. We’re meeting on wednesday.
But our conversations have been really surface-level. This is weird to me because she wasn’t like this when we were together. We used to be really close and talk about everything. I know almost 4 years have passed, so I don’t expect us to immediately be like we were before, but sometimes it feels like I’m talking to a completely different person.
At the same time, when I show that I still like her, she doesn’t reject it. She gives me a little bit of the same energy, but she’s still very distant and doesn’t really open up to me.
For now, I’m going to stop pushing things and just keep our conversations casual. I want to see how the meeting goes and how she acts in person. If I still feel like there’s something between us after the meeting, I’ll probably wait a week or two and then talk to her honestly. I’ll tell her that I don’t want to be the third person.

I don’t want to pressure her to break up with him or make her choose me. I just don’t want to secretly be involved with someone who already has a partner

My mental health was really bad a few years ago, and since then I’ve tried hard to change my life. I made new friends, changed schools, changed the way I look, and became much more confident. In many ways, my life is better now, but there’s still something inside me that hasn’t changed.
Sometimes I absolutely adore my friends and the people I’m talking to. I want to spend hours texting them and I feel genuinely happy around them. Then, out of nowhere, the next day everything changes. I feel overwhelmed, I ignore their messages, avoid their calls, and suddenly social interaction feels like a burden.
My friends are already used to me disappearing for a while, but meeting new people is much harder because I feel guilty. I feel like there’s some kind of wall between me and everyone else, and it’s always been there.
My mood changes so quickly that I can’t even understand myself. One day I’m happy and excited about life, and the next day I feel emotionally exhausted for no obvious reason. It’s hard for me to stay balanced.
I’m also scared of relationships. It used to be because I was insecure about my appearance, but now people actually show interest in me, and I’m terrified that I’ll hurt them because of how unstable I feel emotionally. Even when I really like someone, I still end up replying late or avoiding their messages for no reason at all.
The hardest part is that I’ve been like this since childhood, so sometimes I wonder if this is just my personality and whether I’ll ever be able to change.
I don’t know if anyone else feels this way. I just needed to tell someone.

My mental health was really bad a few years ago, and since then I’ve tried hard to change my life. I made new friends, changed schools, changed the way I look, and became much more confident. In many ways, my life is better now, but there’s still something inside me that hasn’t changed.
Sometimes I absolutely adore my friends and the people I’m talking to. I want to spend hours texting them and I feel genuinely happy around them. Then, out of nowhere, the next day everything changes. I feel overwhelmed, I ignore their messages, avoid their calls, and suddenly social interaction feels like a burden.
My friends are already used to me disappearing for a while, but meeting new people is much harder because I feel guilty. I feel like there’s some kind of wall between me and everyone else, and it’s always been there.
My mood changes so quickly that I can’t even understand myself. One day I’m happy and excited about life, and the next day I feel emotionally exhausted for no obvious reason. It’s hard for me to stay balanced.
I’m also scared of relationships. It used to be because I was insecure about my appearance, but now people actually show interest in me, and I’m terrified that I’ll hurt them because of how unstable I feel emotionally. Even when I really like someone, I still end up replying late or avoiding their messages for no reason at all.
The hardest part is that I’ve been like this since childhood, so sometimes I wonder if this is just my personality and whether I’ll ever be able to change.
I don’t know if anyone else feels this way. I just needed to tell someone.