u/Suspicious-Pudding-4

Currently live in Philadelphia and I got a job offer for a hybrid role in Chicago….while pregnant. They are generously offering to waive the one-year requirement for eligibility for their parental leave benefits, but want me to be relocated to Chicago after leave (which would be in Feb!). We are struggling with the decision and need help from parents who have lived in both cities. We have friends in Chicago, but most of our community is actually in NYC. Love our Philly friends, but none of them have kids. Financially—both options are doable for us (we would be Ok with me not working, but I want to/don’t see myself as a stay-at-home mom).

Move to Chicago:

Pros: Great job offer for me in an impossible market (I am a researcher working in international education—both international development and ed research have been decimated by the Trump administration).

Cons: Husband is an attorney and while he will be able to find a job in Chicago, he really likes his job in Philly and it is a big risk for him. And moving with an infant in the winter sounds like hell. Further from NYC.

Stay in Philly:

Pros: We like Philly. Super walkable, good friends, close to our NYC people. Can nest with new baby and not be stressed with a move freshly postpartum.

Cons: Job market for me is terrible. If I say “no” to this job—who knows how long it will take me to find something and staying in Philly means working remotely (which I also don’t love).

What other things to think about before deciding? Will we find community among parents easily in Chicago? Tips? Opinions?

I just got a job offer that would take us to Chicago (currently in Philadelphia). I am 20 weeks pregnant. I may be able to negotiate a remote start, but the job is hybrid.

Anyone move while pregnant? Or with a newborn?

I am feeling SO torn. We have friends in Chicago, but most of our core community (family and friends) is in NYC. I’ve never lived in Chicago and not sure I would like it, so it feels like a big risk. My husband loves Chicago (he lived there 15 years ago!) and is happy to move.

Pre-pregnancy me loved moving and was not at all risk-averse for a job opportunity, but I definitely feel like my brain is just craving stability and all I want to do is nest.

Hello! I live in Philadelphia with my husband and dog and I am 20weeks pregnant. I just finished my PhD and have been job hunting since October. I got a job offer that is pretty great—a hybrid role based in Chicago. I’ve been working remotely in Philadelphia and have had a hard time with it—I miss hybrid work.

To make things more complicated, I just got an offer for a consultancy (remote) that would span the next 3 years, but the actual billable hours would be unpredictable. We are pretty lucky that money isn’t our biggest concern, but I enjoy my work and want to be working. So—we have the choice of staying in Philly and continuing as usual OR moving to Chicago for this new job. We could either move to Chicago this summer OR I would start remotely so I can have the baby and then move after 4 months of mat leave.

A few other things:

- We like Philly and have made friends here, but most of our closest core friends are in NYC.

- I’ve come to like Philly more, but struggle here too. I almost get run over daily walking my dog because no one stops at stop signs. I’ve gotten assaulted and harassed on the SEPTA multiple times, so feel constantly “on guard”.

- I loved living in Brooklyn and we have tons of family and friends there, but the downsizing would be hard with a new baby and I haven’t had any job offers that would take me there.

- My husband’s work is flexible. He loves Chicago and has a few good friends there. I have never lived there and have no idea if it is for me.

Option 1: Take the job, move to Chicago

Option 2: Take remote job and stay in Philly

Option 3: Keep trying to get a job in NYC

I feel SO torn! I think pre-baby I would be like “fuck it” and just try out Chicago, but my brain is literally rewired for stability right now and I feel very torn. I don’t want to miss out on a cool job opportunity, but feeling very risk-averse.