u/Suspicious-candy-202

I finally finished I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee, and I genuinely think it's one of those books that's going to stay with me.

I'll be honest, this isn't a book for everyone. If you're looking for a gripping plot or something you can binge in one sitting, you might find it a little slow. It's mostly conversations between the author and her psychiatrist, so it feels more like you're quietly listening in on therapy sessions than reading a novel.

But maybe that's why I loved it so much.

I've always been interested in psychology, and this book put words to thoughts that so many of us carry around but rarely say out loud.

The conversations about self-worth stayed with me the most. How the way we see ourselves affects the way we receive love from other people. Sometimes we want love so badly, but when someone genuinely cares about us, we question it because deep down we don't believe we deserve it. I had never really looked at it from that perspective before.

Another thing that really resonated with me was black-and-white thinking. The idea that we're either doing everything perfectly or we're complete failures, with nothing in between. Reading those pages made me realize how easy it is to get stuck in that mindset without even noticing.

What I appreciated most was that the book never tries to give you a perfect solution. It doesn't tell you how to "fix" yourself. It simply invites you to be curious about your own mind, and somehow that feels more comforting than any self-help advice I've read.

I also found out there's a second part, I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki, and I'm already looking forward to reading it because I don't quite feel ready to leave these conversations behind.

It also made me a little emotional to learn that Baek Sehee is no longer with us. Knowing that these deeply personal conversations continue to comfort and resonate with readers around the world makes the book feel even more special.

I'd give it a 4.5/5.

Not because it's perfect, but because it made me stop, think, and reflect on myself. Those are the books that stay with you long after you've finished the last page.

If you've read it, I'd love to know what resonated with you the most. And if you haven't, I'd definitely recommend it if you're interested in psychology, therapy, or simply understanding yourself a little better

This is my first time posting here.

I’ve been a silent reader for a while, and this community has made me feel less alone more times than I can explain.

I’m still trying to figure life out too. I don’t have all the answers. I’m just trying to understand myself a little better every day.

I used to love writing when I was younger. I’d write about everything. My thoughts, my opinions, my feelings, little stories. It came so naturally to me. Somewhere along the way, life happened, and I slowly stopped. I think I lost that part of myself without even realizing it.

One thing I’ve always struggled with is how intensely I feel my emotions. When I feel something, I feel it with my whole heart. They can be painful, comforting, beautiful, heartbreaking, sometimes all at once.
And then they fade.

Sometimes I can’t even remember what I felt so deeply just hours or days ago. It’s strange because, in that moment, it feels like the emotion will stay with me forever. Those feelings are so intense that they almost feel like beautiful literature to me. Raw, vulnerable, impossible to ignore. I genuinely love feeling deeply, even when it hurts. I just wish I could hold onto those emotions long enough to understand them before they disappear.

Maybe that’s why I want to write again.

I’ve challenged myself to write every day. Not because I have life figured out. Quite the opposite. I’m hoping writing will help me capture these moments before they fade, understand myself a little better, and maybe become kinder to myself along the way.

I recently started a Substack where I’ll be sharing my journey, my thoughts on living with BPD, books that make me think, psychology, healing, and all the little things I usually keep to myself.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to have you along. And even if it doesn’t, I just wanted to say thank you to this community for making me feel a little less alone.

If anyone is interested my substack link is in bio