Got my hike today. I don’t know how to process this.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need to get it out.
I got my hike today, and I’m devastated.
People with similar experience to mine got 2–3x higher hikes than I did. What hurts the most is that I genuinely gave everything I had this year. I worked 10+ hour days more often than I should have. I sacrificed my work-life balance, took ownership, showed improvements, solved problems, and kept pushing because I believed hard work would eventually be recognized.
The only reason they gave was that our project didn’t generate enough savings.
But that’s completely outside my control.
The project is already very mature. Most of the big savings had already been realized long before. I can’t magically create millions in savings just because my appraisal cycle came around. I can only control the quality of my work, my ownership, and my performance—and I did everything I could.
Right now I just feel… broken.
I keep comparing myself to people my age. Some are earning so much more, buying homes, planning their futures, while I’m sitting here wondering if all the effort I put in was meaningless.
I know money isn’t everything, but it represents recognition too. Seeing that number made me feel like none of my sacrifices mattered.
I’ve honestly been crying on and off today. I feel helpless. Worthless. Like no matter how hard I work, it still isn’t enough.
The worst part is that it’s taken away my motivation. I wanted to prove myself. I wanted this year to mean something. Instead, I just feel empty.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you stop feeling like your self-worth was tied to a number on an appraisal letter?
I don’t want to become bitter. I just don’t know how to move forward right now.