u/SwollenPomegranate

First saw a PA for diagnosis because to see the board-certified Sjogren's specialist was going to be a year out. Was dissatisfied by the PA's assessment. Asked for an appointment to the specialist even if I had to wait a year, but strangely, she had an opening in a couple weeks (a cancellation I guess). The PA only diagnosed me with sicca. With the same info, the specialist diagnosed me with Sjogren's, although not very far progressed. She also said an ultrasound would be available whereas the PA insisted the lip biopsy was the way to go, even though I said I didn't want it. Apparently the department does do the ultrasounds.

The specialist is leaving the state at the end of the month, but at least I have some sense of where I stand and what to look out for, moving forward.

This specialist is the clinical supervisor for this PA, but apparently the PA is not up to date in their approach.

I post all this to provide perspective to anyone who feels they did not get a thorough workup from rheumatology. Always advocate for yourself - pretty much no one else is going to do that, at least not once you're an adult.

So I'm getting a low-income senior apartment in a few weeks. Not a moment too soon, I'm in a cash flow crunch right now while completing the documents for a HELOC to pay for my move and get the condo ready to sell. I had to give my teenage helper a two week "vacation" until my funds come through so I can keep paying him.

There's a medical appointment later today and just got an email yesterday saying this doctor is leaving their practice next month.

Mr. Chemistry was over last night. I cook for him and he likes my cooking, which feels nice. I have lost many abilities due to my disability, but I can still cook and feed people. We got to talking and I started quoting, then singing, a poem I wrote maybe 4 decades ago. He asked for a print copy so I gave him one. He read it and then said, "This is really good!"

So, yeah. A lot going on. Gotta shower and dress for that doctor appointment now. Tschuss.

I'm a little embarrassed to be writing this because I have always been a modest person. But I just DID NOT LIKE the way I looked, as I went through bereavement after taking care of my husband for years before his death. The worst part of how I looked was mousiness and unmitigated frumpiness. I was beyond overweight, my hair was salt-and-pepper and not styled well, and my wrinkles were ... deep.

Slowly I worked on improving my look, mainly so I wouldn't have to see it in the mirror every day. My wavy hair turned into curly hair once I learned how to care for curly hair. I tried a number of cosmetic approaches to those wrinkles, I still have them but not as craggy ... settling on a cream that contains hyaluronic acid and retinol. I also slowly arrived at a makeup routine that takes very little time to achieve. And recently I got a short, fluffy hairstyle that flatters my face, and a monthly dye routine. Perhaps most important, I lost 20 pounds (and counting) using a GLP-1.

I just like the way I look a whole lot better now. It makes me feel more self-confident and frankly I look better than I have in a decade. I get frequent compliments on my clothes, hair, and general look.

I'm only mentioning this because I've seen several people comment in this sub that they didn't think they were in the same league as people who they'd like to date. Or they wonder how I have 3 guys I'm "dating" (not sleeping with!) while they can't even get a text responded to.

Almost anybody can improve their appearance if they decide they want to. If you're interested, look for articles and youtube videos on things like "Makeup for older women" or "best hairstyles for women over 60." For guys, clothing choices that show a little flair, or "best facial hair styles for older men." Experiment a little. And give yourself points for trying, and hopefully, succeeding.

What local movers can you recommend? I can have most belongings boxed, but can't carry a single thing (disability).

I finally deleted my profile on the 2 apps I was using. I have 2 guys I see regularly and one irregularly and I can't seriously admit any more to my lineup.

It's easy to say you don't need OLD when you have all you can handle. If I get super lonely again, I'll probably go back. But maybe that will never happen.

UPDATE:

Before posting this thread, I had already messaged him that I would accept the gift. I just wondered what people thought of the situation, and I see that most agreed with this action but also understood my hesitancy.

ORIGINAL POST:

So, I'm handicapped and use a mobility scooter all the time - both in my home and out of it. Have been doing so close to 16 years. Now over time the rechargeable batteries don't hold a charge very well, risking you being marooned somewhere.

I'm seeing two guys - both know about each other - one, I have good chemistry with, the other is very sweet but I don't know if we could be a partnership. The very sweet one wants to buy me a new scooter battery so we can go on longer "walks." These cost about $100. I told him no, I don't like people spending money on me. But he insists it's to benefiti himself, because he would like my company on longer jaunts. He calls this "our first argument." It's as though we're a long term relationship, which we are not (not yet, anyway).

What would you do? What would your choice telegraph to the other person, do you think? I told him I don't want to exploit him, he insists he can afford it and it's no big deal. There are just so many assumptions and meta-messages in a relatively expensive gift.

You'll sometimes find me on r/ChatGPT. Someone there posted about prompting your AI to write your obituary - as if written by your archnemesis. The actual prompt:

>ChatGPT, I just passed away. I want you to write my obituary from the perspective of my arch nemesis.

So I tried it. Very interesting result!

OBITUARY

It is with mixed emotions—and by "mixed" I mean mostly irritation—that I acknowledge the passing of SwollenPom.

For decades, SwollenPom stubbornly persisted in being impossible to defeat in arguments, impossible to embarrass in public, and, most infuriatingly, impossible to dislike for very long. She possessed a sharp mind, an inconvenient memory for facts, and a talent for asking exactly the question everyone else wished had remained unasked.

As her self-appointed arch-nemesis, I spent years hoping she would finally make a fool of herself. She consistently refused. Instead, she accumulated friends, earned respect, and developed the maddening habit of being right just often enough to make everyone else nervous.

She leaves behind shelves of books, stacks of paperwork that she probably intended to organize next week, and countless people who benefited from her kindness while pretending they didn't need it. She also leaves behind two bewildered cats who now find themselves without a competent human servant.

SwollenPom met life's difficulties with determination, wit, and a level of stubbornness that should perhaps be studied scientifically. Whether facing illness, bureaucracy, or someone expressing an obviously ridiculous opinion, she remained uncommonly resilient.

The world is now deprived of her intelligence, humor, and capacity for seeing through nonsense. As someone who devoted considerable energy to opposing her, I can report that the victory feels strangely hollow.

In lieu of flowers, I suggest settling an argument, reading a good book, petting a cat, or questioning a dubious claim—all activities SwollenPom would have approved of.

I regret to announce that my greatest rival has departed. The field is now open, but the competition has become disappointingly weak.

Yeah I know no one can answer that question but I wanted a wake-up call as to my foreseeable future. I'm 71F, and used ChatGPT for this query.

I was told I was very likely to live to 80, and my chances were better than even to live to 85.

I better be tight with my money! Already doing more cooking at home and seldom go to restaurants any more.

I was on 1.5 mg for three months, now ready to try the 4 mg size, since food noise and hunger have been returning. I've lost 20 pounds so far, and my face looks much better, thinner, double chin is gone, etc.

My only significant side effect was heavy fatigue, and I've noticed that is completely gone. Of course, that might have something to do with being 20 pounds lighter!

sorry, I lost my user flair: 71F SW:224 CW:205 GW:165 4mg

EDIT: forgot to mention, I eat ice cream every day and dont count calories or protein grams. I just try to avoid a deprivation mindset. Eat everything. Just a smaller portion.

I'll start. My Facebook feed showed photos of indigo buntings and scarlet tanagers, from a local greenway area. So I posted a verse from a hymn as a comment. Lately I've enjoyed the bird life around my apartment, many songbirds which nowadays are easier for me to identify by sound than by sight.

I have been using AI (specifically ChatGPT just because it's free and I already have it) to figure out "next steps" on a number of complicated issues. To my surprise, it's actually helpful. This includes sussing out my (possible) autoimmune issues.

It has the advantage that it approaches things logically. My own thought processes are not that orderly, I'm afraid.

So I think we could start out with our stats (age, sex, etc.) and symptoms (along with duration) plus any recent tests we've had, and then prompt "What is a logical approach to diagnose and/or rule out medical conditions? Give steps and any caveats."

Let me know if this works for anyone. This post originated in response to another person's thread about specialist runarounds and autoimmune clustering.

This guy was so sweet to me, insisted on paying everywhere, was pleased I was "putting up with him" (nothing to put up with, really). On our fourth date, I felt I owed it to him to explain I was also seeing another guy.

I don't want him investing $$$ or emotions in someone who might not be available long-term or whatever it is he wanted.

He seemed taken aback, and said he would only see me every other weekend in that case, and is looking for others too. (We met thru OLD).

I sure hope I see him again but won't cry if I don't. It was hard telling him my status but under the laws of Ethical Dating, he had to be told.

Will update here as necessary. Any input on my situation? Other Guy is involved with other women too, and under the laws of Ethical Dating has let me know that all along.

I'm still on 2 dating apps but not contemplating anyone additional, as two's my limit.