u/TA-cod

Hello! I (26F) have been an anxious person for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I had severe separation anxiety from my mom, was extremely quiet, and refused to talk in class. As an adult, I have no friends because social interaction makes me extremely anxious, and I’ve had panic/anxiety breakdowns.

I’ve never really known what life without constant anxiety feels like. Since my mom and siblings also struggle with similar things, I always assumed it was just part of life and that I needed to suck it up.
I finally feel like I need to talk to a professional, but I’m really nervous about it. I’m worried my doctor won’t take me seriously since I’ve never mentioned it before, or that they’ll just recommend things I’ve already tried. I’m also scared of being dismissed.

There’s another thing I’m particularly worried about: since I was around 20, I’ve occasionally self-medicated with opioids. Usually one pill, sometimes two, when my anxiety became overwhelming and I felt like I needed something to get through the day.
Should I tell my doctor about this?
I know I probably should, but I’m worried they’ll assume I’m drug-seeking or have a substance abuse problem and be less willing to prescribe anxiety medication.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you approach the conversation with your doctor?

**TL;DR:** I’m 26F and have struggled with severe anxiety my entire life. Meditation, therapy, and lifestyle changes haven’t been enough, so I’m finally going to talk to my doctor. I’m worried about being dismissed, and I’m also unsure whether I should disclose that I’ve occasionally self-medicated with opioids because I’m afraid it could affect my treatment.

Hello! I (26F) have been an anxious person for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I had severe separation anxiety from my mom, was extremely quiet, and refused to talk in class. As an adult, I have no friends because social interaction makes me extremely anxious, and I’ve had panic/anxiety breakdowns.

I’ve never really known what life without constant anxiety feels like. Since my mom and siblings also struggle with similar things, I always assumed it was just part of life and that I needed to suck it up.
But honestly, I’m reaching the point where I can’t manage it anymore. I overthink constantly, panic, procrastinate because things make me anxious, and feel exhausted by the end of the day. I’ve tried meditation for about three years, some therapy (around five sessions), and I exercise, eat well, don’t drink or smoke, etc. I do my best to manage it, but it still prevents me from enjoying my life.

I finally feel like I need to talk to a professional, but I’m really nervous about it. I’m worried my doctor won’t take me seriously since I’ve never mentioned it before, or that they’ll just recommend things I’ve already tried. I’m also scared of being dismissed.

There’s another thing I’m particularly worried about: since I was around 20, I’ve occasionally self-medicated with opioids. Usually one pill, sometimes two, when my anxiety became overwhelming and I felt like I needed something to get through the day.
Should I tell my doctor about this?
I know I probably should, but I’m worried they’ll assume I’m drug-seeking or have a substance abuse problem and be less willing to prescribe anxiety medication.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you approach the conversation with your doctor?

TL;DR: I’m 26F and have struggled with severe anxiety my entire life. Meditation, therapy, and lifestyle changes haven’t been enough, so I’m finally going to talk to my doctor. I’m worried about being dismissed, and I’m also unsure whether I should disclose that I’ve occasionally self-medicated with opioids because I’m afraid it could affect my treatment.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months. We’re long-distance but we talk every day through texts and calls, and we usually spend at least one weekend together every two weeks. Overall, the relationship has been great and I love her a lot.

About a month ago, I was going through a rough period mentally. During one of our weekends together, I was feeling depressed and withdrawn. On our last night together, I turned down sex because I wasn’t in the right headspace.

After that, we didn’t see each other for about 3 weeks because of scheduling conflicts. During that time, I was stressed, tired, and admittedly more distant than usual. I wasn’t giving her as much affection and attention as I normally do.

We finally saw each other again this weekend. One night she started crying and told me she had felt completely disconnected from me during those weeks apart. She said she had even forgotten what it felt like to be with me and started having doubts about whether the relationship could work long-term because of the distance.

The next day she told me about a party she had gone to a few days earlier. She showed me some photos and mentioned that a guy there had been clearly flirting with her. She admitted that she felt a strong urge to kiss him and felt frustrated that being in a relationship prevented her from doing so.

She explained that because we’d been disconnected, hadn’t seen each other in weeks, and hadn’t had sex in a long time, she was feeling lonely and sexually frustrated. She said that in that moment she resented the relationship because it felt like she was sacrificing experiences and fun for something that felt difficult and distant.

She then suggested opening the relationship so we could satisfy our sexual needs with other people while remaining emotionally committed to each other.

I told her that I’m strictly monogamous and that an open relationship isn’t something I could do. For me, sex is tied to intimacy, trust, and exclusivity. I also feel like opening the relationship wouldn’t solve our actual problem (distance and disconnection) and would probably destroy my trust and peace of mind.

I told her that if she wants to be with other people, she would have to give up the relationship with me. I also made it clear that cheating would be a dealbreaker.

She said she understood and respected my boundaries. She said she chooses me and wants to stay together, even if it means not pursuing other experiences. However, she also said that she still views monogamy as restrictive and believes people can have sex with others while remaining committed and loving partners.

In the end, we agreed to stay monogamous and work on reconnecting. We’re planning more intentional date nights and trying to improve communication.

The thing is, I can’t shake the knot in my stomach. On one hand, I appreciate that she was honest instead of hiding her feelings. On the other hand, it’s hard to hear that she wanted to kiss someone else, thought about opening the relationship, and views monogamy so differently than I do.

Am I overreacting? How can I get over the hurt ? Is this something couples can move past, or is it a sign that we’re fundamentally incompatible?

TLDR:
I’ve been in a 9-month long-distance relationship that was going well until I went through a rough period mentally and became more distant and less affectionate. After about 3 weeks apart, my girlfriend felt disconnected and emotionally/sexually frustrated. She admitted she felt tempted to kiss another guy at a party and suggested opening the relationship. I’m strictly monogamous, so I refused she was understanding and we agreed to stay together and try to reconnect with better communication.
Now I feel hurt and uneasy about her feelings toward monogamy and whether we’re fundamentally compatible.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months. We’re long-distance but we talk every day through texts and calls, and we usually spend at least one weekend together every two weeks. Overall, the relationship has been great and I love her a lot.

About a month ago, I was going through a rough period mentally. During one of our weekends together, I was feeling depressed and withdrawn. On our last night together, I turned down sex because I wasn’t in the right headspace.

After that, we didn’t see each other for about 3 weeks because of scheduling conflicts. During that time, I was stressed, tired, and admittedly more distant than usual. I wasn’t giving her as much affection and attention as I normally do.

We finally saw each other again this weekend. One night she started crying and told me she had felt completely disconnected from me during those weeks apart. She said she had even forgotten what it felt like to be with me and started having doubts about whether the relationship could work long-term because of the distance.

The next day she told me about a party she had gone to a few days earlier. She showed me some photos and mentioned that a guy there had been clearly flirting with her. She admitted that she felt a strong urge to kiss him and felt frustrated that being in a relationship prevented her from doing so.

She explained that because we’d been disconnected, hadn’t seen each other in weeks, and hadn’t had sex in a long time, she was feeling lonely and sexually frustrated. She said that in that moment she resented the relationship because it felt like she was sacrificing experiences and fun for something that felt difficult and distant.

She then suggested opening the relationship so we could satisfy our sexual needs with other people while remaining emotionally committed to each other.

I told her that I’m strictly monogamous and that an open relationship isn’t something I could do. For me, sex is tied to intimacy, trust, and exclusivity. I also feel like opening the relationship wouldn’t solve our actual problem (distance and disconnection) and would probably destroy my trust and peace of mind.

I told her that if she wants to be with other people, she would have to give up the relationship with me. I also made it clear that cheating would be a dealbreaker.

She said she understood and respected my boundaries. She said she chooses me and wants to stay together, even if it means not pursuing other experiences. However, she also said that she still views monogamy as restrictive and believes people can have sex with others while remaining committed and loving partners.

In the end, we agreed to stay monogamous and work on reconnecting. We’re planning more intentional date nights and trying to improve communication.

The thing is, I can’t shake the knot in my stomach. On one hand, I appreciate that she was honest instead of hiding her feelings. On the other hand, it’s hard to hear that she wanted to kiss someone else, thought about opening the relationship, and views monogamy so differently than I do.

Am I overreacting? How can I get over the hurt ? Is this something couples can move past, or is it a sign that we’re fundamentally incompatible?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months. She’s my first serious girlfriend and I love her a lot, and the feeling is mutual.

There’s just one thing that’s been bothering me lately. She often uses a baby voice when talking to people she’s close to, including me. She’ll talk in a very high-pitched voice, like a toddler would, and occasionally make childish facial expressions to go along with it. She also does this with her friends and family.

At first, she mostly did it when she was tired or wanted comfort. I found it quirky and didn’t think much of it, even though I’ve always found that kind of behavior a little strange in relationships. The problem is that over time she’s started doing it more and more, and it’s beginning to make me feel tense and uncomfortable.

What makes this difficult is that I genuinely love who she is as a person. I love talking to her about movies, video games, her job, and all the deeper conversations we have. I like how ambitious, funny, resilient, and independent she is. That’s the woman I’m attracted to. When the baby voice becomes frequent, I start feeling like I’m interacting with a helpless little girl rather than the capable adult woman I fell in love with, and that’s not a dynamic I want in a relationship.

The other complication is that early on, I told her I didn’t mind it. At the time, I thought I didn’t. I’m a bit of a people pleaser and tend to keep my feelings to myself when something bothers me, so I dismissed my discomfort instead of being honest about it.

My girlfriend is the opposite. She’s very open about what she likes and dislikes. She’s also someone who tends to react emotionally in the moment when something upsets her. Usually she’ll process her feelings, think things through, and then come back to discuss things calmly or even apologize if needed. But that initial emotional reaction makes me uneasy, and because of that I often avoid difficult conversations.

I’m worried that if I tell her I don’t like the baby voice and would prefer she do it less around me, she’ll feel hurt and think I’m trying to change her or that I don’t accept her for who she is.

Has anyone been in a similar situation ? Am I overthinking this ?

TL;DR: My girlfriend frequently uses a baby voice with me. I said I didn’t mind it early in the relationship, but it’s started making me uncomfortable. I love her and don’t want to change who she is, but I’d like her to do it less around me. How do I bring this up without hurting her feelings?