u/Temnodontosaurus

I can prove beyond all doubt that Skyrim's mammoth cheese is actually smegma.

I've seen pictures of horse smegma. It looks almost exactly like mammoth cheese. Elephants have big penises. Mammoths would also have big penises. Wild animals can't wash their penises. Combined with the fact that mammoths are really hairy, this means that Skyrim mammoths definitely have lots of smegma built up in their dicks.

And funnily enough, mammoth smegma probably tastes better than you'd think. I've heard that smegma tastes like strong cheese and fermented fish sauce due to the bacteria in it. It's probably gross, but I've also noticed a fishy/musky-piss smell to my foreskin (I fap and clean too often for any smegma to build up though). It's probably not completely unbearable, especially by Nord and Giant standards. You could probably add small amounts to salad or eat it on crackers with strong vegetables, like onions (think surstromming).

Mammoth smegma can't hold a candle to indricothere smegma when it comes to quantity though. Horses have huge cocks, and indricotheres were related to horses and rhinos. It's reasonable to assume that indricotheres had massive horsecocks. Since indricotheres are a contender for the largest land mammals ever, they probably had lots of smegma. Enough for a family feast.

A few months ago, I (21M Breton) started doing sex work as a free-use femboy bangmaid for the Orcs at Narzulbur, earning 80 septims a day. According to J'zargo (23M Khajiit), this would allow me to quickly pay off my student loans at the College of Winterhold. He told me he would handle the finances. So for the past 111 days, I've been getting fucked in the ass and mouth numerous times a day by several male orcs, sending my gold to J'zargo at the end of each week.

Yesterday, I received a letter from Tolfdir, who informed me that I've been scammed and pimped out by J'zargo, and that the College of Winterhold derives its income entirely from selling spell tomes and enchantments, not from tuition. J'zargo is apparently notorious for doing this to new students, especially Bretons and Argonians. He also did it to the Dragonborn.

I've informed the stronghold orcs of my intention to quit sex work and go back to being a mage, but they say I must find them a new free-use femboy bangmaid before they'll allow me to leave, per the rules of Malacath. I'm going down to the Windhelm docks after today's shift, wish me luck.

(The rest of this thrilling adventure is on TrueSTL but the Thalmods deleted Update 3)

I assume this doesn't count as bigotry showcase because no demographics are named

Before anyone asks...

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1. The female characters would suddenly grow penises.

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2. Becca's ghost would appear in the middle of the season to cheer Homelander and Butcher on while wearing a spectral foam finger, before discarding the spectral foam finger and going inside Hughie's body to jerk off both Homelander and Butcher from the inside, using ectoplasm as lube. She would then proceed to do the same with Soldier Boy and Ryan (on Ryan's convenient 18th birthday, consider it a grandpa/grandson bonding moment).

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4. After Hughie explodes, everyone would suddenly burst into tears. The next scene would be a somber funeral scene where everyone mourns Hughie, with Butcher, Starlight, Homelander, Soldier Boy, Hughie's mom, and A-Train giving tearful eulogies. Hughie's casket would be full of minced raw flesh and cum which resembles cream-chipped beef. The series ends with The Deep dipping a corn chip into the cum/flesh mixture and breaking the fourth wall by offering it to the audience.

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Look at me, I am Eric Kripke now.