u/Tetris-Rat

A few years ago I shopped for InstaCart for about two weeks before I got fed up with it. One day I was shopping an order at Publix, and the customer had ordered a couple of cases of a specific soda. That soda was on sale so of course the shelf had been completely cleared of it, but luckily there was an employee in the soda aisle so I asked him if he could look up if there was any more. He pulled out his inventory device thing and was looking it up for me when a woman came up and with no "hello" or "excuse me" asked where the juice was.

The employee did absolutely nothing to acknowledge the woman, so after a second of awkward silence and her staring expectantly at me, I said "um I think it's a couple aisles over, I believe on aisle 7?" She wasn't impressed with this answer and went "you think? you don't know?", which made me realize she thought I was also an employee, and clearly not a very good one. I told her I didn't work there, and, pointing at the employee, she went "well he does! and he's not even acknowledging me!" The employee looked up for the first time through this whole interaction and immediately snapped at her, saying "I can only help one person at a time, and I'm clearly helping this person right now!"

The two of them had a back and forth where she told him that he had bad customer service and should have at least acknowledged her when she initially approached, and he defended that he was obviously busy assisting someone else and she needed to wait her turn. I just stood there dumbfounded waiting for him to find my soda, thinking about how they were both kind of right but also so unnecessarily rude to each other.

Back in 2023, my friend changed their name and wrote a guide to help others through the process. When I went to follow the steps this year in 2026, I found that the process had changed enough that the information needed to be updated. Now that I'm (almost) finished, I figured it would be nice to share the information I've gathered in a public forum. The process is long, tedious, confusing, and bureaucratic. You will need to be patient. You will call places to update your name, and they will refer to you as your old name for the entirety of the interaction. Many institutions got my new name wrong, which required me to have to submit multiple requests for updates. Stay strong. If you have questions, ask them here and I'll do my best to answer them. Of course note that my experiences are not universal, I pray that yours are easier and not harder.

BEFORE YOUR HEARING

1. Fill out the name change application with the DC court. Make sure the details on your supporting documents (e.g. birth certificate) perfectly match what you put on the application.

   1. The application will ask you why you’re changing your name. You can give pretty much any reason that shows you’re not trying to do something illegal.
   2. You will need to identify your creditors and their addresses. A creditor is anyone to whom you have the potential of owing money. This list includes your landlord or mortgage lender, all of your utilities under your name (gas, electric, internet, water/sewer, trash), your phone company (if under your name), your student loan managers, and your credit card companies. I also included HOA, medical bills, and insurance. Sometimes creditor addresses are listed on their websites, but you may need to call. When asking for creditor addresses, ask for a physical mailing address for general correspondence. Customer service representatives will have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about if you mention changing your name.

2. Print out your application. You only need to print the application pages (you don’t need to print the instructions, affidavit, or court order).

3. Gather required documents outlined in the instructions (birth certificate, social security card, utility bills from the last 60 days, driver’s license).

   1. My approach recently has been to bring as many of the outlined documents as I’m able to and have them pick which ones to use. This helps me prevent the possibility of not having the right documentation.

4. Bring your signed and dated application to the Moultrie Courthouse at 500 Indiana Avenue NW– Monday - Friday, 8:30 am - 5:00 pm. The courthouse is right by the Judiciary Square metro (red line). You do not need an appointment.

   1. You’ll need to go through a metal detector to get into the building. It’s best to get there right when they open to avoid a line. There should be someone in the lobby directing people when you arrive- they’ll either tell you to go to the fourth or fifth floor.
   2. It took them about an hour to process my paperwork, but that was because there was a malfunction with the computer. The clerk also asked me my pronouns, so if you’re trans and wary of the government knowing that, be prepared for this question.

5. The fee is $60 plus a nominal transaction fee. Cash is technically accepted at the courthouse, but there’s a whole process that isn’t worth the hassle.

6. The clerk will schedule you a virtual court date, likely a month or two out. Make sure you can be available before you accept. The clerk will give you information about when and how to connect for your court date, but this is not the official court order that you need to mail to creditors.

7. Go home and wait to receive an email with your official court order for your upcoming hearing. This is at least a few days. You’ll need to make copies of the office order from the mail for each of your creditors.

   1. Mine took almost three full weeks to arrive. I tried calling to check on the status of my case, and they told me to send an email to jicoffice@dcsc.gov. I never received a response, so pursuing information is pretty fruitless and you’re just forced to be patient.

8. Print copies of your court order for each creditor.

9. Mail ALL of your creditors a copy of your court order by US Certified mail with return receipt attached. You will need to submit the pale green return receipts to court. It’s best to bring backup envelopes to USPS in case you mess up, your own pen, and address labels if you have them.

   1. There are green forms for each in the post office, usually under a counter/island. This video (starting at the 4:15 mark) explains how to fill out the USPS forms (note to leave room for USPS postage, don’t attach your own postage). The forms, and how you attach them, are confusing. Each letter will cost about $10.
   2. This process is time-consuming. You will have to write your creditors’ addresses and your return address on each envelope and return receipt, as well as your creditors’ addresses again on the certified mail slip. You will need the ‘plus four’ version of the zip codes of all of your creditors.
   3. Save your dark green certified mail receipt slips (with the USPS seal).

 

https://preview.redd.it/ppd80n1btw0h1.png?width=825&format=png&auto=webp&s=e149ce414594d53bee0fe6f17816a7f14ad8c053

1. Fill out the affidavit, print, and sign (towards the end of the application document). You may need more than one depending on the number or creditors.

   1. If the link above doesn’t work, you can find it by searching “affidavit of service by mail for name change.”

2. Wait to receive the pale green postcard return receipts. When you have all of them or a few days before your court date, whichever is sooner, scan the receipts. The court will not accept your case until you have proof of delivery to all of your creditors.

   1. If you have not received some of the return receipts back, you can check to see if they were delivered by entering the tracking number listed on the left side of the certified mail receipt on the USPS website. If they are showing as having been delivered, you can take screenshots of proof of delivery.
   2. If you have letters that have still not been delivered, you are able to attempt to reach out and notify them electronically. I had to email my notice to my insurance agent, who responded to the email acknowledging receipt. I took a screenshot of that acknowledgement email and uploaded it with my affidavit, and the court accepted that.
      1. I can’t attest to this, but the fact they accepted proof of electronic delivery makes me think that maybe the whole certified mail step could be skipped. You may want to look into this option. I’m unsure if it would have been accepted from the beginning, or if they only allowed it for me as a last-ditch effort after the certified mail failed.
      2. If you have Xfinity as an ISP, they were the most difficult of my creditors. I sent a letter to Comcast’s Philadelphia address, and it took almost a full month to be marked as delivered. I tried using their website chat feature, calling, and even physically going to an Xfinity store, but nobody I spoke to was able to help me.

3. Create an account on https://efiledcsuperiorcourt.gov/. You can look up and bookmark your case by searching for the case number that’s at the top of the original notice the clerk gave you at the courthouse.

   1. Submit your affidavit and receipts to court. You will click on your case, then Actions, then File Into Case. Click through Case Information, then Parties, then to Filings, and check eFile Only. Under Filing Code, select Affidavit Filed.
      1. eFile only accepts PDFs, so you will need to convert your scanned documents/screenshots to PDF if you haven’t already. Google Docs has this capability, and there are several free PDF converters online. Do not pay for Adobe for this.
      2. It costs $6 every time you need to upload a new file. If you submit proof of receipt multiple different times, you will need to submit an affidavit with each one. Learn from my mistakes and try your best to get this right on the first try.

4. At your court date, log in early. The hearings are held via WebEx, it’s good to have an account/the app beforehand. They will check to see that your video and audio are working by asking you to identify yourself. You need both video and audio. They will start exactly on time (or earlier if everyone is there).

   1. There may be other people there, as they hear many cases a day. I believe they take cases in order of who arrived first– I logged in 20 minutes early and was the first one to be heard.

5. If there are any issues with your paperwork, they’ll let you know. If they believe you can get it sorted by the end of the day, they’ll give you the opportunity to do so and let you log back into the hearing. Otherwise, they’ll reschedule your court date for another couple weeks out. If there are no issues, the hearing is brief and will last about two minutes.

6. They will email you a copy of your court order within a business day or two, but you’ll also need physical copies with the raised seal. They will mail the physical copies, but they’ll take about two weeks to arrive. I got impatient and went and picked them up. It was easy and only took a few minutes, all they needed was my case number. You get five free copies, additional copies are $5 each. You will probably not need extras.

AFTER YOUR HEARING

1. SOCIAL SECURITY: Submit a name change application with the Social Security Administration on their website here.
   1. You will not be able to fill out this application prior to your court date.
   2. The application is long and involved- you will need to make a login.gov account, take pictures of yourself and your ID, and receive multiple verification texts and emails.
   3. At the end of the application, it will prompt you to make an appointment at the SSA office. You should start this process as soon as your hearing is completed, as sometimes it can be a couple weeks before the next available appointment. You cannot go to the SSA office without an appointment.
   4. You still need to get a ticket (i.e. check in) when you arrive at the SSA office, but they should honor your appointment time or otherwise prioritize you. People will queue up outside of SSA before it opens. If you schedule your appointment for right when the office opens, you may want to get there early so that you can check in early. 
      1. When I went, there was a guard helping people check in on the kiosk. If someone isn’t there to help, people don’t understand how to check in with the machine, so it can take a while.
   5. Social Security Office Information

Address: 1905-B 9TH ST NE (Near the Rhode Island Ave metro or on the D36 bus line)

Phone: 1-800-772-1213

Hours: Monday-Friday 9am-4pm

1. Take one of the official copies with the raised seal to your appointment. Bring one form of ID such as a driver’s license. You do not need to bring your social security card. A new SS card is free, they will mail it to you within two weeks.

2. DMV: Bring the official court order (with the raised seal) and your new Social Security card to the DMV. They will have you complete a form for a Driver’s License and take a new photo. They will give you copies of your temporary license (both paper and email) that can be used to update some of your accounts. A new license costs $20. They will also update your voter registration for you.

   1. Do NOT attempt to change your driver’s license before social security.
   2. There is a queue at the DMV around the building before it opens, it moves pretty quickly. They advise against Saturdays, Tuesdays, and lunchtime (11-2). The Rhode Island Ave DMV is open Tuesday-Saturday 8:15AM-4PM. They do not take appointments.
   3. If you own a car, you will also need to get the name on your title and registration changed. You can (and probably should) get that done at the same time as your license. You’ll need to bring your car title, registration, and license. The cost for each is $30.

3. WORK: Reach out to your manager and HR to let them know your name is changed. They will let you know what you need to do to change your work ID, email, insurance, retirement accounts, etc.

4. BANK ACCOUNTS: Different banks will have different processes. They may require you to send an email, fax, or physical letter.

   1. Note you can send 10 pages for free with Fax Plus: https://app.fax.plus/signup

5. HOME: If you rent, you will need to reach out to your landlord and update your lease. If you own, you will need to contact the title company to change the name on your deed, your mortgage servicer, and your HOA if applicable.

   1. Your mortgage is managed by the servicer, not the owner. E.g. many loans are owned by Fannie Mae, but serviced by companies such as Valon or Rocket Mortgage. The servicer is who you need to update your information with.
   2. Changing the name on your deed is expensive, around $500-$600. You can reach out to different title firms to get quotes, you don’t need to go with who you originally signed with. You will need to physically go in and sign in front of a Notary Public.

6. INSURANCE: Insurance policies that are not provided by your employer (homeowner’s, renter’s, car, etc.) Reach out to your insurance agent and email them a court order of your name change. Make sure that they update your information correctly and pass it along to applicable parties, e.g. your mortgage servicer for your homeowner’s policy.

7. PASSPORT: Follow the instructions online. You do not need to wait for your new driver’s license or social security card to start this process.

   1. If your passport is more than a year old, fill out form DS-82 to renew your passport with a new name by mail.
   2. You will need to mail in a new passport photo, your old passport, the court order of your name change, and a check for $130. I sent a copy of my updated driver’s license for good measure. “Passport fees must be made by check (personal, certified, cashier’s, travelers) or money order (U.S. Postal, international, currency exchange) with the applicant's full name and date of birth printed on the front and payable to "U.S. Department of State." You must mail via USPS, other delivery services are unable to deliver to the PO Box.
   3. If you want help with this process, you can go in person to a passport office. Bring your checkbook just in case.

8. UTILITIES: Electricity, gas, Internet, phone, etc.

   1. Pepco requires a copy of the legal name change documents, your new ID, and a written request sent to pepcocredit@exeloncorp.com. 
   2. Xfinity will make you call or chat with them so they can send you a form where you can upload proof of your name change.
      1. The easiest way to get a real person on the line is to lie and say that you want to add a service.
      2. You only get one chance on this form. If they reject it, they will not let you submit it again and will make you physically go to an Xfinity store to update your information.

9. DOCTORS: Your doctors’ offices will require your updated insurance card and ID.

10. TRANSPORTATION: AMTRAK, MARC, WMATA, Uber/Lyft, airline accounts

    1. Some of these make it easy to just change your name in your account, some will make you call and/or fill out a form and submit proof of name change.

11. Anyone who has listed you as a beneficiary or included you as part of an estate will need to update your name.

12. EVERYTHING ELSE: Library card, gym membership, community center, Ace Hardware, USPS account, Etsy, Amazon, REI, capitol bikeshare, parking passes, Neopets, restaurant rewards, Ebay, subscriptions, etc.

I feel like everywhere I go recently, I have to double check people's work behind them. I went to the DMV and told them what I was there for, and they gave me the wrong form. When I got to the counter the woman berated me for asking for the wrong thing, I told her the person at the check in desk must have misheard me, and she doubled down and insisted I was wrong.

I live in a condo building with an HOA and property manager, every time something is wrong with the building I have to submit a ticket and then hound the property manager to actually do something about it. I started sitting in on the HOA meetings and found that most of the members are landlords who don't even live in the building, so now it's my job to make sure they're aware of issues and that they actually get addressed.

I changed my name almost two months ago and IT at work still has not updated my login credentials on multiple platforms. I've had to submit multiple tickets, escalate my case to the IT director, and ask them almost daily for updates. I also had to notify HR, who submitted my name incorrectly so now I have to get it fixed on my insurance and retirement accounts.

When I updated my driver's license, my voter registration also got updated. It has my old middle name on it, so I had to call and email the board of elections to correct it.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and the person checking me out made no attempt to help me bag my groceries, and when it came time to pay she sat there tapping her fingers and looking everywhere except at me for several seconds before realizing I was waiting on her to finish the transaction.

I'm just so tired. I know everyone is overworked and underpaid, and most people don't like their jobs, but I really don't think that's an excuse for doing it poorly and taking it out on customers. I know I sound like a pill here but I always try to be really friendly and polite and understanding, but it's gotten to a point where I feel like people just take advantage of that.