u/TheBuddingCreator

Hey, everyone! Sorry for the short amout of time you all had to endure your withdrawal symptoms, I was on an out-of-state trip for quite a while. This Side Story turned out to be quite long, so I hope you are more than satisfied. Please enjoy, and maybe engage with my posts? Anywho, thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the OG universe!

<<PREV | MAIN STORY | NEXT>>

Side Story #3: Baseball

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif Carlyle, soon-to-be molting Arxur

Date: (Standardized Human Time) July 19^(th), 2241

 

I can feel it. The itch. I am so glad Charlie and I cleared up the stuff between us before this started… please let him understand…

Standing in the shower as the warm water flows over me, I scrub the loofah across my scales, endeavoring uselessly to relieve the itch that is still too deep to be touched.

Oh, wonderful loofah, if only you could solve this problem too…

I know what is coming in the next few days. I’ve been through it multiple times, as is natural for an Arxur my age. First, this. A deep agitation that’s too far for my claws to touch. By this time in about two days, I’ll be unable to keep myself from rubbing on any rough surface within sight. Only when a full solar cycle has passed after I begin rubbing does the peeling start.

Maybe Charlie will assist with that? Humans have quite dexterous fingers…

I know that… but he may not want to. As far as I know, humans don’t molt or shed. He may not even understand what’s happening to me.

Worth a shot, isn’t it?

I’ll ask him once the shedding starts.

Resigning myself to at least two solar cycles of itchy hell, I shut off the shower and towel off, clipping my belt on as I re-enter my bedroom. I can hear Charlie moving around in the main living area. I go to join him after I finish stocking my various belt pouches with whatever I might need for today.

“Hey, Kosie,” he says as he clicks off his holopad. “I’ve got a possible thing we can do today. How’d you like to see a key piece of both Terran and American culture?”

“Are we going to see a museum or an art piece? I suppose.”

“Good guess, but it’s something far more interesting, at least in my opinion.”

Phew. I don’t know how long I might have lasted standing around and looking at Terran art, no matter how interesting it may be.

“Did you want to go somewhere like that, because I can totally do that,” I hear Charlie continue.

“No, no. What were you planning?” I say, maybe a bit too fast.

“Does Wriss have sports, maybe professional athletics?”

I mimic a human nod, bobbing my head. “Yes, not that I’m familiar with them. I believe there was one called ‘War Etched in Stone’ where combatants would fight and complete math problems in alternating rounds.”

“Oh, so like chessboxing.”

What?

I tilt my head quizzically. “What… is chessboxing?”

“Same thing but with a strategy game instead of math.”

“Ah. You still haven’t told me where you plan on taking me. Are we going to a sporting event?”

“More than just any sporting event. This is a place where you can eat potentially harmful food, drink cheap alcohol, yell like a maniac, and feel like a stadium full of random strangers are temporarily your friends. We’re gonna go watch baseball.”

“Why would you eat harmful food and drink inebriants? You told me yourself you don’t drink.” As I’m saying this, I use one foot to try and subtly scratch the itch on my calf. Charlie doesn’t seem to notice, or stays silent if he does.

“I don’t drink, and I won’t. I meant you as in, the people who go to a baseball game. When I said the food is potentially harmful, we’re talking cheap hot dogs with all the toppings, nachos slathered with basically cheese-flavored plastic, a Root-44 of drinks. In general, think of Earth’s cheapest snacks sold at regular prices. Half of the fun at a baseball game is just the terribly amazing food.”

“This seems quite interesting. What time are we doing this, and what should I bring in my belt pouches?”

“Hmmm… how badly does ultraviolet light affect your species?”

I tilt my head again. “I mean, if we stay out in the sun too long, of course it hurts.”

“Okay, good. I’ll just find a spot in the shade. We’re heading out in about an hour if you want.” He picks up his pad and begins poking at it. “I’m just confirming our seats. I can explain the game a bit on the way there, if you want.”

“Maybe. I’ll be in my room until we leave.”

“Mm-hmm.”

As I retreat back into my room and make sure the door is firmly closed, I drop to the short fuzzy carpet and start scrubbing myself against it.

Ohh, that’s good. I don’t know if I’d have been able to keep from scratching any longer. Hopefully I’ll be able to find something to scratch against during the baseball game.

I flip onto my back and continue to writhe, sighing gently in relief. My tail thuds loudly against my bedframe.

“Kosie, you all good in there?” I hear Charlie ask, his voice muffled by walls and distance.

“Everything’s fine! I just… tripped.” I reply, hoping he won’t get suspicious.

“’Kay.”

Ugh, why did this have to happen now?

Whaddaya mean now? You’ve been living with Charlie for months, molting was inevitable!

Doesn’t mean I can’t dislike it happening. Just because it’s a fact of life doesn’t mean I want Charlie to see it.

I look at my arms as I lie on the floor. My typical charcoal gray has already begun to lighten ever so slightly. Another sign of my impending molt.

Grunting slightly, I get up from the floor and pull out my holopad to try and research how best to alleviate my suffering, or even temporarily lessen this gods-forsaken itch.

 

 

[1 hour later]

 

Research is very difficult to do when one is, as Terrans say, uncomfortable in their own skin. I sit in the passenger seat of Charlie’s vehicle, attempting to distract myself from the constant need festering under my scales. I spent most of the time before we departed writhing on the carpet between bouts of attempted focus.

Thank the gods that Earth is humid. On Wriss, I would’ve had to pay a visit to the [sauna]. Charlie doesn’t seem to suspect me of anything yet… I dread what his reaction will be to this.

I reach into one of my belt pouches to pull out a small trinket I’d recently acquired: a nail file. After my mistake with the climate control, I noticed I left a few claw marks on Charlie’s back in my sleep, even though he was wearing one of his artificial pelts. I raise the abrader to the tip of my claw and begin sanding gently. Charlie looks over and sees me buffing my claws but doesn’t say anything.

“So… if I understand what you’ve told me, the point of the game is to hit the ball as far as you can, and run as quickly as possible to an established safe area before the ball gets to you?”

“Basically. If you hit the ball far enough, you get to run around all the bases for free. That’s called a home run. Oh, and there’s insults you can yell out to the players on the field. That’s called chirping.”

“Part of the game is to verbally demoralize people who are entertaining you?”

“Yes and no.” Charlie flicks the lever that signals other drivers he’s swapping lanes. “Chirping is slinging insults, but it’s doing it in a funny, harmless way. It’s not tearing someone down for their quality of play, it’s saying that you bet they forget Mother’s Day and are thus absolute bums.”

“I get that forgetting to celebrate your mother is wrong, but… just how bad is it in Terran culture?”

“It’s terrible. We won’t do any physical harm to you, but there is severe dislike when one doesn’t say thank you even once a year to the person who took care of them for the first quarter of their life.”

“So, a possible chirp could be ‘I believe you hoard food’?”

“Closer, but you’d probably pair it with something similar to ‘I heard you hoard food, is that why you run so slow?’ Normal chirps mostly pair their athletic showing with some other insult.”

“You humans and your insults.” I say as I shift slightly, scratching my back on the seat at the same time. “I’ve read about humans who have deprecated their friends with one breath and threatened to cave someone’s skull in when they join in.”

Charlie chuckles a bit. “Yup. Nicknames and insult comedy are a large part of any good Terran relationship, whether it’s family, friends, or anything else. Oh look, we’re here.”

I look out the front glass, seeing the monumental structure that Charlie was approaching. A massive sea of a parking lot lays wrapped around the stadium; vehicles closely dotted across the expanse. The hot sun and muggy air hits me like a brick after the cool, dry air of Charlie’s car. Funnily enough, my itch fades slightly as I stand in the wet air.

Okay, this might not be so bad.

As Charlie leads me through security and towards our ticketed seats, I look around at the diversity of the crowd. If one took a photograph of the crowd, I believe you could find a member of every species discovered in the galaxy to date with enough time. We climb up a few flights of stairs, putting a light stress test on my recent cardio improvements. Not to brag, but I’m not gasping for breath once I reach the top. I’m close, but not entirely there.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Kosie. This is an exchange program thing, so there’ll be other human-Arxur pairs here. I wonder if that one kid I talked to made it into the program…” He gasps as we enter the seating area, revealing the field and the players. “He did! C’mon, Kosie.”

He tugs at my wrist as he descends a shallow set of concrete stairs towards a slightly segregated grouping of chairs. Six human-Arxur pairs sit in plastic chairs, some talking and some staying silent. Charlie rushes ahead of me towards the group, beelining for a younger male human who’s sitting next to their exchange partner, a rather tall male Arxur. I walk over more slowly, sidestepping between two rows of seats to stand beside Charlie.

There’s a lot of other Arxur here… I only recognize some of them from my first day here. There must have been another shipment after mine.

“Kosie, this is someone I met… while you were away.” He gestures to the other male human in front of me. “Meet James, who apparently made it into the program. And your name is?” he turns to James’ partner.

“I am called Evriss,” he states succinctly, looking directly at me. “You are… Kosie. I assume this is a nickname your human gave you?”

I lash my tail in an affirmative. “My real name is Kosif, but Kosie has grown on me in my time here. How long have you been here on Terra?”

“Not long. Only a few solar cycles. I have heard a few stories about the Arxur named Kosif and the Terran named Charlie. Is it true that your human fought your father and won your hand in some kind of trial by combat?”

I pause before letting out an involuntary chirrup of laughter, but my countenance falls as all the memories come to the forefront of my mind. Charlie’s injury, my father’s death, the two days of extreme stress, hunger, and exhaustion.

“Did I say something wrong? I did not mean to cause any adverse reaction.” Evriss asks, tilting his head at my reaction.

I notice that both of our humans have wandered off, sitting with four or five other humans that have also left their partners in favor of other Terrans.

I take a deep breath. “No, you wouldn’t know. Charlie did in fact fight my father, and you could say it was some kind of trial by combat, but… that time on Wriss was a lot. Don’t worry about it.” I look to my human, who’s currently talking with James and a female Terran. “Should we join them?” I ask just as all the exchange humans leap to their feet and start yelling at the field, whooping and cheering as a player sprints around the field, touching the white ‘bases’.

Evriss sighs, waving his tail in resignation. As we move to sit near our Terrans, Charlie stands up and brings his hands to his face as he yells, “Hey, Lewis! Your job is to hit the catcher’s glove, not the batter, YOU BUM!”

Ahh, it seems the ‘chirping’ has begun. Maybe I should try that ‘hoarding food’ comment later.

The humans were all sitting together in a semi-tight seating arrangement, leaving very little space for an Arxur with boundaries. This caused us Wrissians to sit around the nucleus of social humans like much less social electrons. Since I couldn’t sit directly next to Charlie, I placed myself in the row behind him. Evriss sat to my left, a space of two seats between us. I turn my eyes to the game just as the ball is sent soaring towards the opposite side of the ‘diamond’. A player races to get underneath it, raising his glove… and cheers erupt from the stands as he makes the catch.

At one point, Charlie spots a vendor making their way up the shallow concrete stairs towards our seats. Charlie leaps up, squeezing past a few humans and Arxur as he digs out a small plastic card from his pocket. A few minutes later, Charlie sits next to me holding two trays laden with food.

Oh good, I was wondering when the ‘deliciously horrendous food’ was coming.

“Alright, Kosie, I got us the whole package of baseball fare. The classics, if you will. There’s a hot dog, nachos, a bag of popcorn, and a soda if you want it. Essentially, a sausage, two forms of bread, mildly carcinogenic cheese, a fizzy flavored beverage, and you know what popcorn is.”

He hands me the tray, and I set it on my lap after moving the drink to the handy cupholder beside my seat. I notice Evriss looking at the feast before me, but he quickly shifts his gaze back to the field. I flick my tail in an ‘approach’ gesture, trying to catch his attention, but he doesn’t react if he notices.

Hmmm… I would have shared if he wanted some. I wonder if James will purchase any food for him.

I glance at Charlie, who’s enjoying his nachos and watching the field. He didn’t notice Evriss’ look or my invitation.

“Charlie, if you don’t mind, I’m going to sit with Evriss.”

He looks up. “Sure, if you want. Enjoy your food before it gets cold though. If you’re moving, I guess I’ll move back with the other humans if that’s good with you.”

“Fine by me. Thank you for the food.’

“No problem, Kosie.”

We each arise and sit in different locations, I with Evriss and he with the other Terrans. As I sit back down, carefully holding the laden plastic slab, Evriss stays quiet.

After a few beats of awkwardness, I break the silence. “Are you hungry? Charlie got me far too much food, and I don’t wish to be a hoarder.”

Another beat of silence between us, punctuated by a cheer of the crowd. I see the Terrans and even an Arxur or two leap to their feet whooping and yelling.

“…either your human has rubbed off on you, or you are a very strange female. You talk quite a lot, as do all the Terrans to a much larger extent. How could you tell I desired sustenance?”

My tail tip waves slightly in a gesture similar to a shrug. “A bit of intuition, and yes, being with Charlie has affected how I act towards others. If you’re like me, then you’re probably still worried that people secretly hate you.” I pick up the sausage in my claws, tearing the whole hot dog in half, bun and all as I continue speaking.   “I’ll tell you now, they don’t unless they explicitly say so. I’ve been served in a restaurant by a Venlil that could simply have refused me any service, and the waitress never lashed her tail.” I hold out one half to Evriss. “We’re no longer the raiders of the galaxy. Now we can act like it. Even when your human talks too much or makes a mistake, or even if you make a mistake, don’t react like you’re only one claw-tip away from the next ship to Wriss. I learned that the hard way. Enjoy your time here.”

He snorts, taking my offering of meat and bread. “You have wisdom. But you still talk far too much. Let us watch this game… and thank you, Kosif.”

We sit together, sometimes cheering at the various athletic feats of the players. Of the various snacks Evriss and I share, the popcorn and the nachos are my favorite. He prefers the hot dog and the drink, which I found far too overstimulating for my tastes. I listen to the various insults and chirps slung by the exchange humans, and my eyes catch on the slight change in Charlie’s skin color.

Is he… pink?  How strange… I’ll have to ask him what that means. Maybe it’s his level of excitement?

The game ends not too long after, as the sun is beginning to reach towards the horizon. The humans became significantly less excited near the very end of the game, and Charlie explained that the ‘home’ team had ended up losing.

“Is there a consequence for being unable to succeed?” I ask, curious if Terran game results carried weight.

“I mean, the fans might be mad at the players, but nothing over-the-top. Did you enjoy yourself? Sorry for leaving you to your own devices.”

“I did enjoy myself at the game, but… I would like if we could stay together more.”

Charlie looks up at the large signs over the sea of asphalt and vehicles, scanning the symbols. “I’ll keep that in mind. I saw you and E talking, are you two friends?”

E?

“You mean Evriss? We are acquainted, but that is all.” I roll my shoulders in a Terran shrug.

Charlie really has rubbed off on me quite a lot, hasn’t he?

“Well, I’m glad you got to meet up with other Arxur. It’s been a while since you’ve met another of your species, and longer still since you had a good interaction with one.” Charlie clicks a fob in his hand twice, causing his nearby vehicle to chirp. After a few more minutes of looking around, we finally find our car.

As the cool and dry air of the AC hits my skin, the itch returns with a vengeance. I hide a few relieving wriggles among my movements to fasten my seatbelt.

This molt cycle is going to be the most gods-forsaken of them all…

I remain silent all the way home, not trusting myself to do anything but focus on not wriggling. Charlie’s skin remains objectively pink, even though it seems he’s calmed down from the excitement.

Maybe that’s not what triggers his skin change… were any of the other humans doing this too?

I think back to the game as Charlie and I enter his domicile, the outside air giving me a precious moment of relief before burdening me once more with the biological urge to just skin myself and be done with it already.

After I place my things in my bedroom and privately writhe on the carpet again, I re-enter the living area to see Charlie in the kitchen with a few tubes, tubs, and bottles in front of him. He’s hiked up the sleeves of his shirt to expose more of his arms, showing a hard line between the normal color of his skin and the pink of his forearms. His hands rub up and down his arms, spreading a topical cream across his skin.

It smells like… medicine? Is he hurt? No, that looks like… molting cream. I shouldn’t watch him do this, he’d do the same for me.

“Kosie, are you okay? You’re just standing there.”

Charlie’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I realize I’ve been spaced out looking in his general direction.

“Oh… yes, I’m fine. What are those things you are applying to your skin?”

He looks down at the containers in front of him. “These? Just various creams that are gonna help my skin heal faster. I should warn you, it’ll be ugly for a few days. Peeling, redness, sensitivity, the whole nine yards.”

Hold on a second… humans molt too?! Why didn’t I learn this sooner? Oh gods, this makes everything so much easier when I hopefully start shedding tomorrow.

“Oh, Kosie, that reminds me. Don’t be alarmed if your holopad blows up with notifications. The other humans and I took a few liberties, but I think you’ll like it.”

Oh boy, what has he gone and done now?

“Alright… thanks for the warning, I guess?”

Intensely curious, I go back to my bedroom and unclip my holopad from my belt. As the screen illuminates, I note the grouped alerts at the bottom. The biometric check swiftly completes, and I’m shown chaos in digital form as I bear witness to what the humans call a ‘group chat’.

 

 

CrowdSpeech Transcript Date: July 19^(th), 2241

Chatroom Designation: Exchange Program Group Chat

 

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem has created the chat room.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem has joined the chat room.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem has changed the chat room name to Exchange Program Group Chat

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Welcome, Terrans and Wrissians, to the very first human-Arxur group chat! This is just a place for us to coordinate hangouts and events outside of the exchange program.

CharlieBuck has joined the chat room.

T-Reth has joined the chat room.

VrissOfWriss has joined the chat room.

OliviaMendoza has joined the chat room.

VrissOfWriss: Why am I included in this?

T-Reth: I agree. Why couldn’t this have just been the humans?

CharlieBuck: We didn’t want to leave anyone out, just in case. Alright, who’s here right now? Can I get a sound off?

Kosie2219 has joined the chat room.

CharlieBuck: Oh good, Kosie’s here.

Evriss has joined the chat room.

Evriss: Why does this exist?

VrissOfWriss: That is what I am curious to learn.

CharlieBuck: Okay, looks like we have three humans and three lizards so far.

OliviaMendoza: Actually, this is Talek using my human partner Olivia’s holopad. We are currently sharing. Olivia says hello.

Kosie2219: Is this *truly* just for planning, or just the humans being aggressively social again?

Evriss: I believe that this is aggressive social bonding again. Apparently because my human partner isn’t talkative enough, the gods have decided to also make me witness to five others.

CharlieBuck: We’re not that bad, are we?

OliviaMendoza: Olivia says no.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Depends on the situation.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Now, what should we do next? Anyone have any ideas on what group thing we should try? I’m thinking something like an amusement park, but that’s expensive.

SivrenTheArxur has joined the chat room.

SlayaQueen has joined the chat room.

GodzillaHugger has joined the chat room.

Evriss: Can we do anything that involves this chat room no longer existing? I’m getting tired of my holopad making noises while I’m trying to simply lay down in utter silence.

CharlieBuck: Evriss, you know you can mute your notifications here, right?

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Beat me to it.

Evriss: Thank you. Now I can lay in peace.

SlayaQueen: How about we show the lizards something that defines humanity, like one of our classic movies or plays?

Kosie2219: The last time I was shown classic, humanity-defining movies, I ended up semi regretting it.

GodzillaHugger: Oh boy. Charlie, what did you show her?

Kosie2219: First, a movie called Jurassic Park, and then one called Up. After that, I ended up watching a few more movies made for children before I fell asleep on the couch.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Charlie. You showed her *UP*?! Were you trying to make her cry? I get it, it’s a decent movie for coming out over a century ago, but *come on!*

SivrenTheArxur: I feel I am missing a lot of context. What is Up and why are you all reacting so strongly?

SlayaQueen: Most heart-wrenching first 10 minutes in a movie ever. ‘Nuff said.

CharlieBuck: C’mon, guys! I wanted to expose her to our media, and I picked one of the best movies I know.

OliviaMendoza: Liv here. Charlie, you did *WHAT*! I’m hitting you the next time I see you.

HomeStarRunner has joined the chat room.

HomeStarRunner: Looks like I’m fashionably late.

CharlieBuck: I think everyone’s here, if I counted right. I think we’ll get one more join when Talek gets a new holopad.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Can we get back to the point? Do any of you Arxur have ideas on what we could try doing?

VrissOfWriss: Are there traditional or universal games that are played by all of humanity? Perhaps we could try some of those.

Kosie2219: That sounds like a good idea. But what game?

HomeStarRunner: Tag?

SlayaQueen: You guys can ping me when you figure out what we’re doing. Sarah out.

GodzillaHugger: Maybe Hide and Seek? That’s basically a hunting/stealth game, do you think they’d enjoy it?

CharlieBuck: Sounds good, but where? We can’t just roll up to a playground and start chasing each other around. It’d need to be somewhere real interesting to run through and hide in with lots of spots.

VrissOfWriss: I’m going to bed. That baseball game took a lot out of me.

T-Reth: Same for me, but I kinda want to see what the humans come up with.

OliviaMendoza: Talek here. I’m also going to my room and leaving the holopad to Liv.

Kosie2219: I believe I should also retire. Charlie will likely fill me in later.

McHoustonWeHaveAProblem: Alright, but we take no responsibility for any ideas we have while you guys are away.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, sunburned human

Date: (Standardized Human Time) July 20^(th), 2241

 

My eyes open to the sound of my alarm beeping incessantly at me, as is its morning ritual. I peel myself from my sheets, grimacing at the sensation. This isn’t my first sunburn, and it’s very unlikely to be the last. Thankfully, my forearms are already showing signs of peeling soon.

Sucks that you can get burned even in the shade. Going to that game with Kosie and the other exchange pairs was worth it though.

I sit up straighter as I remember what Reth, the other humans, and I had ended up concocting late last night.

Oh man, Kosie’s gonna love this. Everyone’s gonna love it. Too bad all the Arxur except Reth are in the dark because they left too early.

I push myself out of my bed, wincing as I pull a T-shirt over my sun-tickled arms and head. Less than ten minutes later, I’m making breakfast and Kosie’s dragging herself out of her room.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” I say as I transfer her bacon from the pan to the plate. “I’ve got some really good news for you when you’re fully coherent.”

She mumbles something that doesn’t make it through the translator as she trudges into the backyard. When she returns a few minutes later, standing up straighter and with both eyes fully open, I pass my scaly friend her morning coffee. As she takes her first sip, her eyes lock onto my forearms.

“You’re peeling already? I can help with that. One moment please,” she says, looking at the dead skin lifting away from my epidermis before turning away and re-entering her bedroom.

Alien medicine that helps sunburn peel? I should probably do some research before I put it on my skin…

I sit down with my own breakfast and pull out my phone. A few moments later, I’m scrolling through various alien skin repair methods. I hear Kosie’s claws click across the floor behind me, and her hand lands on my shoulder a moment before searing pain rips across the back of my neck. I yell, biting down on multiple expletives as I whip around in my chair and see Kosie… holding a loofah.

“Ow, Kosie! What was that?” I semi-yelp, my hand pressing against the very angry sunburn on my neck.

She flinches backwards, her tail curling slightly around her ankles as her head dips. “I… didn’t think it would hurt you. I was trying to help. Your skin was peeling, and I know that rubbing against things helps relieve the itching and…”

I interrupt her. “Wait, itching? What itching?”

“You know… molt itch.” As Kosie says that, she uses one of her feet to scratch her calf.

“…Molt itch? Kosie, humans don’t molt.”

“But your skin color has changed, you applied lotions and creams, and now your outer layer is falling away.”

I wish I could laugh with the realization, but I’m still too busy wincing in pain. “Kosie, I have a sunburn. Yes, I’m replacing my skin, but not like you are. It’s because I kinda… cooked myself a little bit. And you do not rub loofahs on sunburns.”

“Well, I have learned that. I deeply apologize for the pain I caused you.” Kosie looks down at the bundle of cloth in her hand. “I do have something I need to ask you, if you will hear it.”

“It’s okay, Kosie. Just ask next time. What’s your question?”

Her clawed hand rubs against the back of her neck, a human gesture she must have picked up from me.

Guess I’ve rubbed off on her a lot.

Kosie hesitates for a moment as her claws quietly scrape against her scales. “The reason I assumed you were molting… is because I am too. I know I’ve been behaving strangely since yesterday, and this is why. I’m asking… if you can help me. Please.”

Now that I’m looking at her more closely, I see the wrinkles at her joints, the subtle fade to her scales, and the slight discomfort in her stance.  Her other palm grinds against her side briefly before scratching across her chest.

Oh Lord, she’s been miserable and I haven’t even noticed… I need to fix that for next time.

“Of course, Kosie! I can’t believe I never realized… I’m so sorry.” Now it’s my turn to hang my head. “What do you need help with?”

“It’s my fault too, I shouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You fought my father and dragged me on a sled across my home planet, and I’m scared of telling you I’m molting?” She gives off a churring noise that I assume is a chuckle. “I just need your help when my peel happens. It should begin at some point today or tomorrow at the latest. Sorry again… and thank you.”

I chuckle softly with her. “No problem. I signed up for this when I entered the exchange, I should have expected this. Now, I have some news for you.”

She raises one of her eye ridges, another human expression she’s gained by osmosis. “And that is?”

“You ever heard of an IKEA? Sarah knows someone who can get us in after closing.”

 

 

To be continued in Side Story #4…

NEXT>>

Hey, everyone! I hope you all haven't been feeling too starved for your Charlie and Kosie fix, but you no longer have to wait because I have pounded out another little Slice of Life. This one's nice and meaty, so please dig in! As always, thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe, and if you have any ideas for Side Stories, or questions for me, Charlie, or Kosie, please engage with my posts. But without further ado, enjoy the chapter...

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Side Story #2: Wrestling Round Two

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif Carlyle, overtired Arxur

Date: (Standardized Human Time) July 8^(th)**, 2241

 

It’s so gods-forsaken hot. How is it this hot and it’s night*? Isn’t this supposed to be the cool part of the solar cycle of Terra?*

Reaching across the bed to the nightstand, I grasp at my holopad and click the button. Aiming the blinding screen away from myself, I rake the display with my eyes as I search for the time.

1:00 AM. Ugh, I need to sleep but it’s so hot! Dear [deity of the sun], why?

Scrubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands, I sit up and rise from my bed.

Maybe it’s cooler somewhere else in the house. Charlie won’t mind.

As I trundle for the doorway, I notice the climate control panel mounted on the wall, a small white box with a smaller screen. I pause as I see the number displayed on it.

Dear [deity of comfort], 70 [Wrissian temperature units]? How do humans survive at this temperature? No wonder I’m boiling in here! Let’s turn that down…

After poking various buttons, the display shows a much more comfortable 58 [Wrissian temperature units]. I can already feel the room cooling ever so slightly. Sighing in relief, I flop back onto the dark blue sheets and feel the deepest sleep of my life claim me.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, unaware human

Date: (Standardized Human Time) July 8^(th)**, 2241

 

My alarm clock beeps twice, causing me to instinctively jerk out of my sleep. My hands swats at the offending machine as I push myself into a sitting position. I test my previously chomped shoulder, rotating and flexing it as I clench and unclench my hand.

Man, Zurulian medicine really is something else. I bet this would’ve taken years to heal before First Contact.

I quickly dress in a T-shirt and basketball shorts before finishing the rest of my morning routine. The house is silent, as it always is at this hour. Kosie won’t be up until she smells coffee and meat, and even then she’s not fully coherent until she’s sat out in the backyard for a few minutes. My bare feet slap quietly against the slightly chilly floor as I wander over to the kitchen and pry open the fridge.

Hmm… ran out of bacon again. Guess Kosie’s gonna have to be fine with chuck.

A few minutes later, I’ve got a small pot brewing for the currently comatose overgrown Komodo dragon and a frying pan with a half-pound of beef going on the stove. It takes me until all of breakfast is finished and ready to be consumed to notice that Godzilla, Snarfer of Bacon, hasn’t emerged from her den.

Is she okay? Normally she’s out here as soon as the meat hits the pan.

I walk over to her closed bedroom door, a small puff of cool air dancing across my bare toes. I rap my knuckles on the wood a few times, hoping that’ll jar her into consciousness.

“Kosie? You okay? Should I come in? Don’t make me break out the annoying nicknames…” I joke lightly, but my face falls and contorts slightly into confusion as even that garners no reaction. Even on her worst days, the nicknames are more than enough to propel her from her room. I reach for the doorknob with one hand, then yank it back like it might burn me.

No, I can’t do that. What if she’s doing something private?

She likely would’ve said something…

But there’s still a chance that I could walk in on something that’s not meant for me to see.

Put an ear to the door, see if she’s moving around in there. That’ll help clue us in.

I press the side of my head to the cool wood, straining to hear inside. Nothing. No movement, at least none loud enough for me to sense.

That’s… worrying. Is she not in there?

Only one way to find out…

Having outsmarted myself, I sigh and reach for the doorknob, twisting it and pushing inwards to reveal my honorary packmate curled in a circle on top of her bed, unmoving. Chilly air blasts me in the face, and I shiver.

Why is it so cold in here? Wait…

I swear out loud as my brain puts two and two together. Reptile… cold room…

No wonder she wasn’t answering! Oh shoot, is she dead?

Rushing over to my partner’s still form, I put my fingers to her throat. I practically sink to my knees as I feel a pulse. It’s slow, but it’s there. I look at the AC control panel near the door.

58 degrees? What was she thinking? Was she… no. She couldn’t have been. Why would she want to… Have I really been that oblivious? Did Kosie… want to die?

I shut off the air conditioning, then toss a blanket over Kosif.

That should… wait, no! She’s cold-blooded!

You know what you must do.

No. I’m not doing it. That’s not happening. I’m not gonna be That Guy. I’m different.

Kosif’s life could be hanging in the balance. It’s for the greater good, so get in there and start warming Kosie.

But… cuddling? Do I really have to?

You got any other ideas?

Defeated once again by my own logic, I sigh and very slowly and reluctantly lift up the blanket on Kosie, slipping underneath it and wriggling deeper until I’m in a very close and very intimate hug. My face is bright red the entire time, and I struggle to contain my thoughts.

I’m a fully grown adult, and this is not that kind of thing. I am not doing this for any reason other than pure need.

It feels like an eternity of embarrassment, being a living hot water bottle for a giant anthropomorphic lizard. Eventually, after an age has passed inside my mind, Kosif shifts. But instead of awakening, she uncurls and hugs me closer like I’m a giant stuffie.

Oh no… please wake up soon.

I can feel her pulse slowly speeding up, but it takes another perceived eon before her eyes flutter open and she actually begins to wake up.

“Ugh,” she groans, and I feel her claws gently push into my back. She clenches me close, squashing me against her, and I hear my spine crackle. The sound causes her to jerk.

“…Charlie?” she asks as she tilts her head to look at me. She yawns, and I flinch at the sight of her open maw. I still sometimes have nightmares about looking down her father’s gullet.

“Hi, Kosie. Quick, weird question. How have you been emotionally over the past month or so?” I’m subtly trying to keep space between us, but her arms around my back are keeping me very close.

She shifts slightly, incidentally giving me about six inches of breathing room. “Honestly… it’s been the least stressful time of my entire adult life. Why? Also… why are you…?” She finally lets go of me, and I scoot backwards until we’re completely separate.

“Well… you nearly offed yourself. You turned your room temperature down to 58 degrees, and you’re cold-blooded, so…” I look down at my hands. “I thought I had somehow missed something… and that you had…” I go quiet.

Kosie shifts again on the bed, and I can read a bit of nerves from the swish of her tail on the sheets. “Uhm… well… I don’t really know how to say this. I wasn’t trying to commit suicide, I know that. Last night, I was practically boiling and I fiddled with the climate control. Do you humans really need to be that warm at night?”

“How warm?”

“The panel said it was at 70 [Wrissian temperature units], and that’s quite stuffy. That’s like the temperature outside in the afternoon nowadays.” She gestures with a claw towards the thermostat on the wall.

It really was an accident.

I breathe a massive sigh of relief, slumping forward as all my worry melts away.

“Kosie, that panel’s in degrees, not whatever temperature units you use. Here, let me fix that. Can’t believe I didn’t remember to do this.” I mentally backhand myself as I poke at the panel, swapping through various alien units until I find the one marked ‘Wriss’. The display shows 59 [Wrissian temperature units] as I turn back to look at my partner, who’s sitting up on her bed and stretching.

Her head dips as she looks at me. “Sorry I caused you to worry so much,” she says sheepishly. “Why… um… were we hugging? Just now.”

Now it’s my turn to be overly embarrassed. I can feel my face turn slightly red, and I watch Kosie’s eyes flick to my cheeks.

“It was… the fastest way I could think of to warm you up. In your sleep, you pulled me closer. Sorry for the… unexpected physical… um… intimacy. It shouldn’t be necessary again, barring any emergencies.” I clap my hands in front of me. “Anyway! Breakfast is ready, and I was thinking we could head to the gym. My PT’s all done, so I can join you in normal exercise.”

I walk out of the room, closing her door behind me.

You know you enjoyed it, even if she squeezed a bit too hard.

Shut up, brain. We’re compartmentalizing this. This is not the start of anything. That was a necessary part of life with a cold-blooded alien, and you know it. I’ll not be hearing any more of this.

I quickly eat my now-cooled breakfast, and Kosif joins me a minute later as we partake in near silence. It’s only a few minutes longer until we’re in the car and headed for the YMCA. Kosie seems far less tense than I am, which I notice as I’m driving.

What do I do? What do I say? How do I explain that I’m not That Guy? Does she think I’m like that? Like I’d take any excuse to pull that again? Ugh, Charlie, you already said you wouldn’t think about this more, so put it back in its box!

As we walk across the pavement in the muggy summer air, I finally work up the courage to say something.

“So, what kind of workout are you thinking? Something together, or do you wanna do something solo?”

Her head dips slightly, her eyes not meeting mine. “Well, this may be a bad time, but I was thinking about trying that competition of strength you call ‘wrestling’ again.” She hastily swishes her tail. “If you won’t be comfortable, I’ll just do something by myself.”

Well. Moment of truth. Physical contact with your adopted sister/cousin or whatever she is to you isn’t a bad thing by any standard. The workout might help clear my mind.

“I’ll be fine. Let’s just take it easy. Still testing out the shoulder.”

“Of course.”

A small weight lifts from my shoulders.

So, she doesn’t instantly hate me… but is there another reason for why she wants to wrestle? Gah, brain! Stop overthinking every dadgum thing about this! You disgust me.

Luckily, one of the wrestling mats are open as we approach, allowing us to square off immediately. Taking a wide stance, I lock eyes with her. She meets my gaze, her tail flicking slowly from left to right. Her pupils are slits, showing her excitement, and her hands are wide open to catch me. We stay there, staring at each other, each waiting for the other to take the first step and restore the normality of physical touch.

Looks like it’s on me…

I take a single step forward. Kosie does the same. I crouch slightly, lowering my center of gravity. One breath, two, three… then we launch ourselves at each other simultaneously. Our bulks collide near the middle of the area mat. Due to the differences in our heights, my head is under her armpit as my arms wrap around her ribcage. As she’s moving to try and sprawl on me, I plant one foot between hers and strain to lift her scaly mass. I’m not entirely successful, but I do knock her off balance and take her to the floor with me.

When we impact the ground, I say, “Sorry for this morning. It was the only thing I could think of doing. I was scared.” I try and keep my voice quiet so only Kosie can hear me.

As we grapple on the ground trying to rotate each other onto their backs, she whispers back, “It was my mistake that caused all of this… but to be honest… you’re really warm. I… liked it.”

I push off from her and scramble to get my feet underneath me, dropping back into a ready stance. When she surges at me again, I grab her around her middle and try to use physics and shoulder toss her.

“I liked it too, to be honest. You do squeeze a bit hard, though, and your claws are a bit pointy.” I spit out as I struggle to heft her scaly bulk. “The thing is… there’s a lot of stigma about the exchange program volunteers. Many people join for reasons other than simply meeting another sapient species.”

Kosie lands on her back, but I’m too slow to secure the pin. We lock once more in the center of the small arena, pushing against each other’s shoulders, panting and sweating. I can see Kosie’s reaching her limit. She may be bigger and stronger, but I’ve got the upper hand in endurance.

“And what,” she pants, “are these reasons, exactly?”

“Without being overly explicit, some humans use the exchange program to get very very close to xenos like you, Skalgans, or any other sapients. Please don’t make me explain further.”

I watch the thought strike her, and play a little dirty by taking that opportunity. I tip her over and lay crossways on her torso. She lets out a big whoosh of breath, and I roll off her into a cross-legged sit.

“I can see…” she sputters out, “why you are so careful in how you treat me.” She sits up on her elbows. “But that didn’t free you to use my surprise as an advantage.”

I laugh. “It would’ve been worse if I’d had a flashlight.”

“What is it with us wrestling and flashlights?!” she says in a dramatically over-exasperated voice.

“Eh, just look up the Carlos vs. Dominion Arxur memory transcript if you’re interested. I think it’s hilarious. A mighty hunter, brought low by a monkey with an illumination tool. You’ll probably laugh too.”

She goes quiet for a moment, looking at me. Then her tail swishes in what I’ve learned to be an affirmative motion. “If you say so. We should probably either start again or clear off the mat. People are starting to look at us again.”

I heft myself to my feet, offering my hand for Kosie to take. “Ready for Round 2?” I ask, grinning slightly.

We get into a ready position once again, and our bodies collide in a mess of heat and muscle and sweat (which was mostly mine). Only one more exchange of words occurs before we fully concentrate on our competition.

“Kosie, no matter what happens between us, or where this goes… let’s stay best friends.”

“Of course, Charlie.”

NEXT>>

Edit: Teen turns dead brother’s nurse into a ninja to kill a middle aged college professor who wants to kill a billionaire.

Well, Soon(tm) came a lot sooner than everyone (including me) thought! I hope you enjoy this little Slice-of-Life from The Nature of Terrans, and this will be the first time I've ever written anything like it. Please enjoy, and thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the original universe!

<<MAIN STORY CHAPTER 1 | NEXT>>

Side Story #1: Counting

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, soon-to-be thoroughly confused Arxur

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 25^(th)**, 2241

This transcription occurs during Kosif and Charles’ excursion to a Terran firearm practice facility.

 

Warning: Some parts of this transcription may be highly confusing until the problem is revealed near the end of the transcript. Nothing in the record is corrupted, misinterpreted, or incorrect. Continue if you wish.

 

Charlie hands me the smallest of the kinetic weaponry, what he called a ‘Glock’. Keeping his recent lecture in mind, I hold it how he showed me, my claw resting on the trigger guard and the barrel pointed down the range.

“Alright, Kosie, there’s 10 rounds inside there. That particular gun fires one at a time, as fast as you can pull the trigger. Best advice is to go slow and do your best to hit the metal reactive targets down range. You’ll hear it if you hit it. Fire when ready.”

He takes a few steps back, and I shift my weight a few times as I focus down range, my tail swishing gently behind me. My claw comes off the guard, resting on the trigger mechanism. A long pause, as I work up the nerve to squeeze. I clench… and the barrel bucks upwards as a small bit of metal hurtles away from me, burying itself in the dirt.

Okay… that’ll take some getting used to. That wasn’t too bad.

Counting mentally and firing slowly, I work my way up to ten bullets fired. I put the weapon down on the shelf in front of me as Charlie taps my shoulder.

“Kosie, there’s still two bullets left in there.” He points at the weapon.

“No, you told me there were ten and I fired ten times.” I lash my tail in disagreement.

“You fired eight times.”

What is eight?

“No… I didn’t. Did you actually mean twelve bullets when you said ten? That’d be the only way there’s two bullets left.”

“What? No.” He picks up the Glock and ejects the magazine, showing two rounds left inside. “See, two bullets left out of ten. You shot eight times. Are you trying to gaslight me? …did someone put you up to this?” He glances at me with I can infer as suspicion.

“No! I shot ten times like you said, so there must have been twelve in there and you forgot or something.”

“That’s the problem, you did not fire all ten bullets, you only fired eight.”

What is he talking about with eight?

We’re both getting slightly agitated, and Charlie moves over to a nearby wooden table where his various firearms lay. He opens a small box and pulls out two sets of five rounds, setting them on the table. I watch him set out the twelve bullets, standing them on their end on the wooden surface.

He takes a deep breath. “Alright. Kosie, how many bullets are sitting here.”

Does he think of me as a hatchling? There’s twelve.

“Twelve.” I say automatically.

“You’ve got to be ragebaiting me or something,” Charlie says as he splits the pile into two equal halves, “because five plus five makes ten.” He gestures at the two groups of bullets as though his math was not completely erroneous.

“You’ve got to be the one who’s messing around, because two sets of five equals twelve. It’s basic arithmetic.” I don’t even know what’s happening. How can Charlie be this bad at math?

“So how are you getting it wrong?” We say nearly in unison.

We pause, slightly surprised at the synchronicity.

One of Charlie’s hands goes to his chin, rubbing it as he stares at the group of metal cylinders. I’m racking my own brain at the same time.

How is this happening? Did Charlie never learn how to properly count? Is the translator malfunctioning? Did I never learn to count correctly?

“Kosie, can you count these bullets one at a time?”

Oh, that’s a good idea!

I sit down at the table opposite Charlie, then touch each metal piece in turn as I count aloud.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten, eleven, twelve.” I chant as I number the objects.

“Hold on.” Charlie says. “You missed eight and nine.”

“I’ve been wondering what you mean when you say ‘eight’ and ‘nine’… what are those?”

“They’re… numbers.”

“Not as far as I know.”

“Wha- You mean… What?” he sputters, looking perplexed.

Why is he insisting that those are numbers? They’re not any I’ve heard of, and I even took [university equivalent arithmetic].

I hold up my claws, spreading my claws wide and dipping each one in turn as I count to ten. “One, two, three, four,” I swap to my other hand. “Five, six, seven, ten.” I wiggle all my digits, four on each hand. “Ten claws.”

Charlie’s mouth hangs slightly open, and he seems to buffer as I practically watch his brain struggle with the concept of counting to ten properly, of all things! A look of shock comes over his face, and he lets out an “Oh!” that causes a few people to glance our way.

“Of course! Of course that’s how you count to ten!” He laughs, throwing his head back. I tilt my head at his reaction, wondering how he finds this humorous.

“Is there something wrong?” I ask warily.

He thumps the table with his fist, sighing with a giant smile on his face. “Not at all. I figured it out.” He holds up his own hands, spreading his digits wide to mimic my own. “What differences do you see between our hands?”

“Well… you don’t have scales, or claws, and they’re rather small. And… hold on! You humans have an extra finger!”

“Yup! And therein lies the problem. I have two more fingers than you, and my number base has two more numbers than you. I was even taught this as part of my exchange training, how did I forget?”

“Number base? You mean, like binary?”

Charlie leans back from the table, rubbing his face as he groans softly. He leans forward again with a grunt. “Similar. Binary is base two, you and most other non-Terrans like Skalgans and Gojid use base eight, and we humans,” he wiggles his fingers for effect, “use base ten.”

It finally clicks. “Oooooohhhhhh.” I giggle a bit as I look back on the fact that Charlie and I were literally just arguing over how to count, and the best part is that neither of us were wrong.

“Oh man,” Charlie says as he chuckles as well. “That was… interesting, to say the least. You wanna try the rifle next?” he asks as he gets up.

“Sure, why not.”

NEXT>>

This is it, the last(ish) chapter of my little fanfiction. I've been very excited to get to this point, and hope I've managed to give you all the good ending you've been wanting. Tonight will be the final post for this series, and as always, thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe.

<<PREV | EPILOGUE>>

Chapter 11

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, hospitalized Arxur

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 23^(rd)**, 2241

 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

 

That gods-forsaken wrist gadget… I’m either going to convince Charlie to get rid of that thing or I’m going to steal it from him. Why does my head hurt? I squint my eyes open and instantly regret it. Hissing in pain, I grind the heels of my claws into my eyes, trying to rub away the pain.

“Kosie?” I hear from my left, and my head jerks in that direction, causing my headache to throb mightily within my skull like the beating of a [war drum].

Was that… Charlie?

Shielding my sensitive eyes with my hands from all the harsh light, I slit them open to look out at my surroundings. Light white sheets cover me from the waist down, and bandages stick to my scales all across my body. My belt pouch sits neatly on a small table beside me, and that incessant beeping machine stands on the opposite side of my bed.

Looking further to my left, I see someone else in a bed like mine, their shoulder heavily wrapped with white cloth. They smile, flashing their teeth in what I would have assumed was anger not too long ago. It’s Charlie, alive but a little worse for wear. As my species would say, he’s walked through the battleground.

My eyes finally adjust to the cold white light in what looks to be a medical bay. “Charlie? What happened? Where are we? Did we… did we make it?”

He nods, then winces a bit in pain. “Yeah, Kosie. You did it. I woke up an hour or so ago, and I was told the story of what you did. You walked for miles carrying my limp body, even after the sled tore, just in time for us to be found.” His expression turns a bit more embarrassed. “Apparently, they had no intention of leaving until they found me, so… the timer was a bit of a false deadline. The foreman said they would’ve tracked me down eventually, after I’d had my ‘fun’.”

The word ‘fun’ sounds like it has a lot of meaning behind it that I am unaware of and uninterested in at the moment.

Charlie continues, "When you yard-saled on the tarmac, they looked at my pad after they made sure I was safe. They saw the photos, tried to figure out what I was doing as best they could, and chose to hook us up in the med bay of the ship. I gave them the full rundown just a few minutes ago, and they walked out right before you started stirring. And now we’re here, currently orbiting Wriss.” He gestures to the small medical wing of the ship. “They’ll be wanting to talk to you once they learn you’re awake, and we’ll both be bedridden for a few more hours at least. Are all your wounds getting better?”

“Me? Uh, yes. What about your shoulder? Sorry about my… my sire doing that to you.” I look down at my claws in my lap. The same claws that had used a weapon to blow that same sire’s cranial cavity wide open.

“Oh, this? Doctor said I’ll be fine after a few months of babying it. Soon, I’ll be pretty much good as new. What I thought was a crunch was in fact not a crunch, so it’s not as bad as I believed. I’m still very lucky, regardless. I could’ve bled out in minutes right there.”

I marvel at the casualness of his speech, how he simply writes off a major and debilitating injury as ‘oh, this’. “What do you mean, ‘oh, this’? That’s your dominant arm, if I recall! This is terrible, worse than any of my injuries. You’ll be disabled for entire moon cycles, and all you say is ‘oh, this’?”

He shrugs, then grunts in pain. “I’m able to write it off because I’m not upset about how I got my shoulder chomped. I did it to protect someone that I consider very close, and I’ll do it again. Honestly… I consider you part of my family now. That’s why it was so easy for me to step in front of your father, and why it’s so easy for me to write this off as no big deal. Call it battle scars, war wounds, anything you like. I’ll wear this like a medal of honor.”

I’m stunned speechless, trying to form words as I attempt to wrap my brain around the sheer… the sheer… I don’t even know what to call it. Gall? Audacity? [Male gonads]?

Charlie can somehow just accept a massive wound… because… he considers me… part of his pack?

“I’m… family?” I manage to squeeze from myself; my body having gone very rigid.

“Kosie,” he says, looking at me like I’m a child attempting to grasp a new concept. “We’ve watched movies, eaten food, slept in my house, gone shooting, nearly been in a car wreck, saved someone’s life, gone to an entire other planet, and snuck out of your dad’s basement together. You’ll be lucky if you can ever get rid of me.” He smiles, a small one. I dip my head once and my tail waves in contentment.

I… I guess that we really are packmates now. Family.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, un-bedridden Arxur

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 23^(rd)**, 2241

 

Several hours after my awakening, and after a lot of questions from the other humans on the ship (most of whom had never met an Arxur), Charlie and I were sitting in a room next to each other watching a projected videoscreen. On that screen were two very powerful males, one human and one Wrissian.

The human was President Walker, a middle-aged male with white and gray hair. He had a very nice suit on, which I assumed was formal wear for Charlie’s kind. He looked very unhappy, with frown lines surrounding his mouth as he glared down at us, the two strips of fur over his eyes close together. He had no facial fur like many males of Charlie’s species commonly had.

The Wrissian on the opposite side of the screen was also very unhappy, dressed in my species’ formal wear of a robe going all the way down to his feet. It used to come with a sword until around the time I had hatched, when the sword was done away with to keep from putting off potentially violent appearances to the greater galaxies. This was Council Leader Alfar, head of the Wrissian Council, which was the main governing force on Wriss.

President Walker speaks, a grave tone in his voice. “Let me get this straight. You, Charles Carlyle, got yourself transferred to the labor department of the Arxur-Terran exchange after your partner was removed from the program following a large misunderstanding and intergalactic incident. You then ran off on Wriss to find your partner, abandoning the site where you were legally required to be. You tracked her by who knows what means to her domicile, illegally broke into the basement where she was being held, discovered that she was being brutally abused, and then technically kidnapped her. Do I have all this right so far?”

Charlie nods. “Yes, sir. But…”

The human leader holds up a finger. “I’m not done. You then dragged your heavily injured partner through the wilderness, was attacked by her father, and then fell unconscious. Your partner then had to carry you the remaining miles to the spaceport, where she fell unconscious and you two were stabilized. Am I missing anything?”

Charlie shakes his head. “No, sir.”

“Good. If it were not for the very good reason you had gotten yourself onto Wriss, you’d be facing very, very big charges from both planets, son. Alfar, do you have anything to add?”

The male Arxur strides forward on camera. “Yes, I do. Kosif of the Sickle Province, you do realize much of this could have been avoided had you been slightly more thorough when you were filling out your applications to the program? I know for a fact that there was a place for you to inscribe your reasoning for entering the exchange, and had you put in the fact you were running from an abusive home, I doubt things would have turned out this way.”

I lower my head in shame, remembering what I had actually put as my answer: ‘I desire to meet humans and to forward the truth that Arxur are not what they used to be.’ “I was scared, Council Leader. I didn’t think I had much time before my sire found out what I was doing. I simply wrote what I thought would get me into the program the easiest. My… my apologies.”

Alfar says nothing more, his tail lashing in acknowledgement. The human President sighs, rubbing the bridge of the tiny muzzle that humans call a ‘nose’. He begins to address us once more. “It seems this entire situation has been a bundle of misunderstandings and hastily made plans. Seeing that pursuing this legally would be massive headaches for everyone involved, I suggest that we simply put this down and keep it quiet. Alfar, what are your thoughts?”

The Council Leader bobs his head. “Considering the position of my species at large, I would agree. Silence would indeed be golden. It would save my planet the embarrassment of having to explain how we forced an innocent female back into a dangerous home, and it would save your planet from dealing with a male who lied his way off it and onto my planet to rescue said female. What is your proposed solution?”

The President sighs again, then makes pointed eye contact with both of us. “I’m going to shut… whatever this is. You two are going to Earth, and I’m going to make Kosif an American citizen. Nothing more will come of this. If I catch wind of either of you pulling shenanigans like this again, I will personally make sure that the book is thrown at you. Any questions?”

Charlie shakes his head silently, and I quickly mimic him, wanting to get out from under the crushing gaze of two powerful leaders.

“Fine.” The President says, and the Council Leader makes eye contact with me as he lashes his tail once. Then both video feeds cut off, and the projection ends. Charlie lets out a long slow exhale, and I do the same, slumping in relief.

It’s over. We did it. I’m going to Earth… and never leaving.

I wrap my arms around my exchange partner… no, my packmate. I squeeze him close, fighting back tears. Eventually, he pats my back.

“Kosif,” he whispers, “You’re crushing me. I can’t breathe.”

I instantly let go of him, pulling away. “Sorry.”

He winces slightly, but he’s still smiling. “No problem. You ready to go home?”

I lift my head and lash my tail once.

Yes. Yes, I am.

EPILOGUE>>

The action continues! I'm very glad people are enjoying my little series, and hope you all continue to do so. Also, I'm bad at math. The first day I can post on the NoP subreddit will be May 24th, so hopefully there's some people there that would enjoy this as much as y'all have. In this part, you'll see darkness, joint cracking, and a difficult decision (and also a cliffhanger). Please enjoy, and all thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the original universe!

<<PREV | NEXT>>

Chapter 9

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, Arxur rescuer

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 20^(th)**, 2241

 

I look up at the unfamiliar night sky, full of stars and constellations I’ve never seen from Earth. The light has swiftly retreated from around us as I drag my scaly friend through the Wrissian wilderness. I glance at my holopad, the beacon of light searing my eyes before I swiftly modulate the brightness slider. I’m going as quickly as I can, but it’s going to take a large chunk of my sanctioned time on this planet to get to the ship without being caught. I’ll move more freely during the day when everything’s asleep, but I need to stay more hidden once their star disappears over the horizon. The darkness is thick and unaffected by the stars, and since Arxur need no artificial lights, it’s that much more suffocating. Staring up at the sky, I nearly face-plant on a plant root as I try and find the large disc of nighttime light. That’s when I realize.

“Kosie… you don’t have a moon.” I say.

“That is… correct. Does it matter?” she answers, and I can hear her turn to look at me, a quiet hiss coming from behind clenched teeth.

“Kosie, I can’t see. There’s no light and I forgot my torch. Now I don’t even have a decent weapon if your dad somehow tracks us down.”

“What do you mean, you can’t see? It’s perfectly light out here, if a bit dim.” I can hear the thought penetrate her brain. “This is what you were talking about with how different your night vision is back on Terra, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. We have to stop here, because you can’t walk and I’m blind.” I groan. “Oh, I’m an idiot. Why did I assume you had a moon? Why didn’t I even bring a flashlight?” Staring out into the pitch black, the reality starts setting in.

I’m on an alien planet, in the wilderness, with an injured native, in the dark.

My breaths quicken and my hands start to tremble slightly.

I have less than three days before my ship leaves, and anything could happen.

Her father could track us down, a wild animal, exposure to the elements, one wrong step could cripple me too and then we’re both screwed.

What was I thinking, coming here?

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, injured Arxur rescuee

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 21^(st)**, 2241

 

Charlie and I lay back-to-back on the sled, and I listen to him pretend to be sleeping. I watched his reaction to his blindness in real time, his composure going from stable to fearful as he realized there was no nighttime light to guide him. My body’s fully awake, knowing that night is the time to be awake and do things. It’s an eternity of laying and waiting and pretending to rest before the first hints of sun start lighting up the sun. As soon as Charlie notices the change in the light, he’s up and dragging the sled again. My wounds have healed partly, scabbed over and starting to close, but they still hurt whenever Charlie hits a bump or a tree root pokes into me from underneath the sled.

Today is the day I truly learn how perseverant humans are. I hear the huff of Charlie’s breath, his slow and steady footsteps, the creak of rope and the slide of plastic cloth. We don’t talk much, and I let Charlie focus on saving me. He checks his pad infrequently, along with a small band on his wrist. He speeds up his pace slightly as we enter a more open area, one with domiciles nearby the route we have to take. Since there’s not much else I can do, I keep watch, scanning the surroundings. I’ve never been this deep in the wilderness before, being rather stuck at home. Terra was an entirely new frontier for me, being a completely different planet. My body wants me to sleep, to rest away from the hot sun, but I don’t leave Charlie without his other set of eyes.

The sled stops, and I look over to my human. “Charlie, are you okay?” I ask as he drops the rope and stretches. He turns to look at me, and his face is shiny and pink from exertion.

He pants, “I’m good. Just… need to catch… my breath. This gravity isn’t as strong as Earth… but you’re no lightweight.” He chuckles once, leaving me to wonder what’s so funny. “Gimma a minute or two, and I’ll be able to pull you some more.” He pulls out a clear plastic tube and opens one end, drinking from it before passing it to me. “Drink. It’s water, and you need it more than I do.”

I take the heavy bottle, pouring some into my mouth. The liquid is slightly cool, and it completely refreshes me for the time being. “Thanks.” I say as I pass it back to him. He gets up and stretches again, and I hear crackles and pops from his joints. I have to remind myself that they don’t hurt and it’s just one of many strange things humans do.

His counterintuitive body bending complete, Charlie slips the rope back over himself and starts to pull once more. I watch him check his pad and wristband once more, catching part of a worried look on his face.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, injured Arxur rescuee

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 22^(nd)**, 2241

 

Another night passes with Charlie and I lying on the tarp. He’d been rather frustrated by the fact we had to stop for the night. He’s been compulsively checking his wristband and pad more frequently. During the night, I’d peeked at his wristband while he slept and saw symbols constantly changing in a cycle.

What is this? A chronometer? A locator?

I left it alone and rolled to face away from Charlie again, closing my eyes as I wondered what those little glyphs represented.

15:12:01…

15:12:00…

15:11:59…

I awaken to Charlie stirring, pushing slightly into my back as his body came online. I stretch as well, my claws extending and curling as my tail straightens and my jaw gapes. Every muscle in my body tenses, then releases as I shift my position on the tarp. I notice Charlie staring silently at me.

“Yes?” I ask, rather bewildered by his reaction. He jerks out of his frozen state.

“Oh, nothing. Just me being very glad you’re my friend,” he says as he gets up and makes his joints create that painful sound again. “Let’s get moving. We’re close.”

The sun’s barely over the horizon as Charlie starts hauling me again. I almost feel bad for him having to drag me everywhere, but I will admit… it’s kinda nice. If there weren’t any crimes involved, this would be even better, but we can’t all have what we want.

Hours pass, spent in silence or fleeting chitchat as we draw ever closer to wherever Charlie’s taking me. I listen to the sounds of Charlie, the sled, and the wilderness as I’m dragged along the ground. We stop to let Charlie catch his breath, his face red and wet again from all the effort he’s putting into saving me.

I decide to speak up. “Charlie… thank you. I can’t say it enough. You came all the way here, and found me, and now you’re literally dragging my scaly [hindquarters] on a sled to take me to Earth… and I can’t express my gratitude enough.” I slowly get up, hissing quietly as I put weight on my bad leg. I walk towards him and open my arms to hug him, squeezing him tightly as I fight back tears.

Humans like hugs, right? Charlie said he liked hugs… I think.

I feel his arms squeeze me back, and then we separate.

“No problem, Kosie,” he says, “I wasn’t gonna let my friend and partner go out like this. Honestly, at this point you might as well be family. Consider yourself an honorary Carlyle and human in my book.”

He smiles, and I lift my own lips back at him, causing him to laugh at my imitation of his species’ show of happiness. I stay standing for now, testing my ability to stand and walk. It hurts, but I could move on my own if I need to, possibly even run if push comes to shove.

Both Charlie and I notice the change at the same time.

“Kosie,” he whispers so quietly I can barely hear him, “why is everything so quiet? On Earth, that means that something scary is nearby.”

“It means the same thing here. But there’s no large predators in this area… or there shouldn’t be.” I breathe back, all my senses on high alert. Both Charlie and I stay very still, only moving our heads to scan our vicinity.

Ten seconds pass.

Fifteen.

A sound, a scuffle, a rattling of a bush. Both of our heads snap in that direction, and both Charlie and I lower our stances in instinctive fear-poses. We make eye contact, and we both know that we’re running and leaving the sled if worse goes to worst. Another sound, a glimpse of gray.

Oh no…

I turn to Charlie and tackle him as my father comes diving out of the brush, mouth and claws wide. Charlie’s pack flies open upon impact with the ground, scattering half-empty boxes of supplies and other things on the ground. The Arxur that is my father Isaf staggers to his feet from his failed pounce, eyes burning in a hungover rage. He looks at Charlie, then at me.

“You… you left me. Again. I’ve… taken g-good care of you. And you leave me… for that leaflicker? One you met on some utopian Federation planet? You… ungrateful [livestock used for meat, archaic term from before Arxur became raiders]. You’re not leaving again… you don’t deserve what I give you… no… you and your precious leaflicker… YOU’RE DEAD!” He charges us as Charlie and I ready to run, or fight, or whatever we’re supposed to do.

Charlie moves like he’s pulling something from his pocket, then he’s tackled by my father. My partner’s thrown onto his back with my dad on top of him, holding my father’s front claws by the wrists.

“Kosie, get my gun! It fell out of my hand!” I hear my human yell before a scream of pain is ripped from him.

The scent of blood hits my nostrils, and I start to panic. My eyes scour the ground and I drop to my claws and knees and paw through the scattered supplies from Charlie’s pack. I’m five feet away from the wrestling match as Charlie gets his feet planted on Isaf’s chest and kicks my dad off of himself. Both scramble to their feet, Charlie clutching his bleeding shoulder, my dad staggering and panting.

I spot a glint of metal as my dad rushes Charlie again, who tries to dodge but is caught anyway. “I GOT IT!” I yell, as I dive for the weapon.

I look to see my partner pinned under my dad again, one of Charlie’s hands on my father’s throat as he tries to push away the Arxur trying to bite down on his face. It’s a slowly losing battle.

“KOSIE, HELP!” he screams, and I hesitate. My father’s about to kill my partner… one of them is about to die. I look at the firearm in my hand. He screams again, more desperate.

“KOSIE!”

I make my decision.

NEXT>>

Greetings, everyone! This chapter marks the start of the part of the story that has never been on the Internet before, so buckle up! Thanks to the immense love and support this fanfic has gotten, I won't quit updating until the final chapter. In this episode, there will be cyberstalking, lies of omission, and a moment of kindness for a stranger. As always, thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe!

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Chapter 7

 

[CONTENT WARNING: The next transcripts for [Kosif] have been rated Adult+ by the Memory Transcript Database. Reasons for this rating include:

Direct involvement in domestic abuse

Frequent coarse language

Excessive fear and pain

For your viewing safety, we are skipping to the next suitable transcript. Thank you.]

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, Terran civilian

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 11^(th)**, 2241

 

I need to get to Wriss.

But how? You don’t have a spaceship, and travel there is nonexistent.

Which means I need a job stationed there.

Once again, how?

I pull open the .gov website on my holopad, the same one where I volunteered for the exchange. I navigate to ‘Off-world Opportunities’, and I begin to scroll through the available positions.

Anthropologist, no. Archaeologist, no. Ethnomusicologist, no. Aha! Labor.

I click on the position, and a list of planets appears. I scroll down wildly until I reach near the bottom of the list. I hold my breath as I pass the T’s, U’s, V’s… I pump my fist in triumph as I find Wriss. A dropdown of five Wrissian cities materializes as I click on the planet.

Wait… is she in any of these?

I open Swiftpair, fiercely hoping she had told me where she lived on Wriss.

 

 

Swiftpair Transcript Date: March 13^(th)**, 2241

 

…

 

Kosie2219: The sunset through my window is beautiful. Sometimes it lines up perfectly in a gap in the forest, and I get to watch it all the way down to the horizon.

 

Ha! Her house has a window facing west, and there’s a large gap in the forest behind her house that goes to the ground.

 

CharlieBuck: That’s nice. I don’t have anything like that where I live, but I bet a lot of other people on Earth get to see that a lot.

 

CharlieBuck: By the way, I’ve been looking at maps of Wriss to try and imagine what you see, but where do you even live? You don’t have to send me your exact address, that would be creepy of me.

 

Noooo! Past-me! Why do you always have to be so honorable?! I needed that information!

 

Kosie2219: Well, I live in the [Sickle] province, at the tip of the ‘handle’, I guess. It’s what used to be the Morvim Quarter.

 

Yes! I can work with this.

 

CharlieBuck: So, your sickle is like Italy’s boot?

 

Kosie2219: I understood none of that, but I presume yes.

 

CharlieBuck: My turn. I live in the far southeastern area of the continental United States of America, in a county called Duval.

 

Kosie2219: Which makes me wonder, why do humans have so many names for areas? It just gets smaller and smaller until you have the individual living space. It’s even more than we have!

 

…

 

The conversation drifts from there.

 

 

I pull the government website up again and select the Sickle Province. A map appears, with dots on it signifying areas where labor is required.

And one’s right near where she lives! I wonder if I can narrow it down more…

Opening the recent images that Kosif and I have sent to each other; I scroll all the way back to the very first ones.

Indoors, indoors, not her, wait. Is that mail on the table?! Dear Lord, I thank you for not letting physical mail fall out of use…

I zoom in on the envelope, a light blue sheet of paper with black ink scrawls in the center.

Shoot, I can’t read Wrissian. The visual translator’s on here, but the stupid thing’s not activating!

An hour of intense struggle and frustration later, I manage to send the photo to my computer and display it on the monitor while I scan it with my holopad. My hands are trembling as the message loads into English. A small ping makes me startle.

45^(th) Domicile of Elfuss Clearing. Gotcha.

I put in my labor application for 72 hours of labor in the Sickle Province, and I’m notified that my interview is in 2 days.

2 days… that’s almost too long. At least I have enough time to pack for my little ‘side quest’. 72 hours on Wriss should be enough time to find her and get her back to the ship. I’m going to need to do my research on first aid too. Lord only knows what state I’ll find her in.

 

 

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 13^(th)**, 2241

 

I sit down in the waiting room. Across the small space, a woman and another man sit three seats away from each other. My knee begins to bounce as I pray that I will be accepted. As long as they don’t see the real reason I’m transferring, I’m okay. I take a deep breath, which does almost nothing to help.

Don’t seem suspicious. Act natural, you’ve done nothing wrong.

But you’re going to.

I know that! I need to stay calm. This is my only shot at making sure someone checks on Kosif sometime this year. I need to see her myself.

You were powerless to stop her being taken, what makes you think you can save her?

…

What if you’re already too late?

The emotions swirl in my mind as I stew in my fears. ‘What-ifs’ prance through my thoughts, and my stomach clenches tighter with each passing moment. The door nearby opens, and a young woman holding a clipboard leans in.

“Joanna Boyd?” she says, and the blond woman stands and follows the receptionist.

More minutes drag by with the inertia of a reluctant Mazic. The man, Clark White, is called by the receptionist, and a young man enters in the interim. He sits almost as far as possible from me, his own leg bouncing wildly.

He seems even more stressed than I am.

The memory of my interview and testing here surfaces on my mind, and I realize that he might be here for the same reason. I stand, and sit nearby, with only one empty chair between us.

“Are you here for the exchange program?” I ask.

He looks shocked and afraid that I’m speaking to him, but he nods. “Y-Yeah.”

“I remember my interview. I was just as nervous as you are. Which species are you volunteering for?”

“Arxur.” he says quietly.

“Really? That’s what I’m here for. I’ve already gotten my partner, I’m just here to take care of… other things.”

He looks at me as if he’s seeing me in a whole new light. “Do… Do you mind if I… ask some questions?”

I smile. “Ask away. I’ve got nothing but time right now.”

We enjoy a lovely conversation together. He asks smart questions, and I relate advice I’ve gleaned from my experience. Especially the part about coffee. Sometime later, he’s called in, and I learn his name.

“James McHouston?”

He walks through that door with a grin on his face and his head held high. I find my own anxiety to be quite diminished from our conversation as well. The waiting room’s empty now, so there’s nothing to do but wait. Ms. Joanna Boyd walks through the waiting area and exits while I continue to sit. The receptionist leans into the room again.

“Charles Carlyle?”

And now it’s my turn to walk through the door. I’m led to a simple room, only a table and two chairs held inside. I move towards the nearest one, and a short, balding, sweaty man comes through another door as I lower myself.

He sits as well, and he squares some papers against the desk.

“Hello, Mr. Carlyle, my name is Arthur Columbine. It seems you have requested a transfer to… labor?” he asks.

“I have, Mr. Columbine.”

“Any reason why you chose to move away from the exchange program?”

Time to omit stuff and hope that he’s oblivious enough to swallow it.

“Well, my partner was transferred, but I still want to help the species. Helping move equipment that enables them to make food is one of the few other things I can do for them.”

He nods, seeming satisfied with the answer.

“Just a few more questions. Any reason you chose that specific region for your volunteering?”

I begin to sweat again, only slightly.

“It was kind of darts-on-a-map, but I still wanted to choose for myself. I simply picked one and went with it.”

“You do realize there will be minimal interaction with the species? Most of the work shall be completed during the daylight hours, during which most Arxur will be asleep.”

It won’t be minimal the way I’m planning.

“I understand. I’m not doing for the interaction; I’m doing it to help.”

“Then that is all. Your departure date is May 20^(th). Pack your clothes, but you’re only going to be on Wriss for 48 hours. The shuttle disembarks at 8:00 AM.”

He shuffles the papers again, and we both stand and shake hands. I walk out feeling elated, and a song pops into my head.

Tell everybody I’m on my way…

 

 

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 20^(th)**, 2241

 

I could hardly sleep last night with the thrill of going off-world. The excitement of riding in a tin can towards a new rock where life manifests entirely differently from anything I’ve ever known. The fear that at any moment I could be found out. The worry that I’m not too late.

Very assumingly, I arrived at the spaceport 2 hours early, believing them to be airport-like in how they run. I was both right and wrong. There were many people there, but the lines were efficient and almost didn’t stop. You just joined the people parade and kept walking, albeit slowly.

Now I’m sitting in the shuttle as the other volunteers trickle in. I got a window seat, but it’s just a viewscreen rather than actual glass. A dark-skinned male sits in the aisle seat near me. We don’t talk. Both of us are too nervous to trust what may come from my mouths. The last human walks in and sits down, and the crew shuts everything and does the final OK. I take a deep breath.

I feel the engines’ rumbling in my feet, then we takeoff vertically and aim for the sky.

I definitely just left my stomach back on the landing pad.

The flight begins. I’m on my way to Wriss, and nothing can stop me from getting there. Then the lightspeed hits, and we’re flying through the cosmos faster than the universe had ever intended. My viewscreen switched off as the jump began, so I shift in my seat and try to close my eyes.

Hours pass, but before I know it, the pilot is speaking some aerospace jargon into the radio and communicating with Wrissian air control. All too soon, the landing struts bump against foreign ground and the full mental brunt weighs on my mind.

Holy cow. I’m on another planet.

NEXT>>

Alright, this is about as far as we got with the story the last time shenanigans went down, so let's see if I can't finish this tale up! We're halfway through, so only six more chapters to go! Now it's time for the real story to begin, with human consumerism being useful, deportation, and really bad ideas! Thanks to the undying support from the flood of updoots and vast expanses of positive feedback, you all have quite the ride ahead. (JSYK, this is all lighthearted sarcasm and not me whining or being bitter. Really, I do want feedback, but it's not a requirement and I don't need external validation to make me feel good about something I've put my heart into. Anyway, chapter 6, coming up!)

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Chapter 6

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 25^(th)**, 2241

 

I am fuming. This is ridiculous. I look away from Kosif for one second and people just start arresting her. She gets caught holding an injured Venlil that she’s trying to help, and it’s an instant case of rampant assumption. Now I’ve got my exchange partner getting a free ride to the police station.

At least I was able to film the arrest.

I watch it again, vibrating with the height of my emotion. The officers shove Kosif, muzzled and cuffed, into the backseat. They say nothing except to yell orders at her.

I need a lawyer. There’s gotta be some firm that does interplanetary law…

HeeMa LawVen! Bum ba-dum bum bum bum bum!

Huh, I guess consumerism does have its benefits.

Something clicks in the back of my mind. Something about how the cops were talking to Kosif…

Some quick Googling later, I punch in the number for the Skalgan Interplanetary Law firm. A Venlil voice answers the call.

“Skalgan Interplanetary Law, how may I help you?”

I smile, the anger in me having turned into sweetest satisfaction. “Do any of your lawyers specialize in Terran law?”

“Yes. We do have a Terran law expert. Would you like to speak to him?”

“I very much would. Tell him he’s going to have the easiest defense case of his career.”

“If you like, I shall. We have a mobile appointment opening today in three-quarters of a claw. How does that work for you?”

I juggle the time measurements in my head. “That works perfectly. Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Have a good paw.”

The call ends, and I could not be smiling more.

Hold on, Kosif. You’ll be outta there before you know it.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Velri, great-grandson of the LawVen and Terran Law Specialist

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 25^(th)**, 2241

 

Three human hours ago, my secretary informed me of a human wishing to speak to me about ‘the easiest case of my career’. I enter the human’s number and press the green button. A male Terran voice answers.

“Hello?”

“Hello. This is Velri, the Terran law specialist for the Skalgan Interplanetary Law firm. You had something you wished to speak to me about?”

“Yes! I am a member of the Arxur-Terran exchange participant program, and my partner has been arrested without reason.”

“What happened?”

“Kosif, she’s the Arxur, and I were in my car and going home when the vehicle in front of us swerved and crashed. She called 911 as I ran to help, and after she finished the call, she came to help me. She was carrying one of the injured, a Venlil, when the emergency services showed up. Another human had come from their house, yelling something just before the cops arrived. They immediately began manhandling her and put her under arrest, even though she was attempting to explain why she was covered in the Venlil blood. Anyway, they muzzled her, cuffed her, and covered her claws before tossing her into the backseat of their vehicle and driving off, not even letting me explain that she was helping and not trying to have lunch.”

“Are there any witnesses to corroborate this?”

“Sadly, no, unless you count the three unconscious Venlil.”

How is this supposed to be the easiest case of my life?

“Do you have any kind of evidence supporting your claim?”

“Actually, I do, and this is what’s going to makes your life so easy. I’m sending the video to you, but I have a question for you first.”

“And it is?”

“How familiar are you with the Terran court record of Miranda v. Arizona?”

I could hear my bank account swelling.

I wonder when the next shuttle to Earth takes off…

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran exchange participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 25^(th)**, 2241

 

I’m laying on the cardboard-thin mattress and staring at the ceiling when im told I have a visitor. As I sit up, I see a middle-aged Venlil sitting on the other side of the bars.

“Are you Kosif, the exchange partner for Charles Carlyle?”

Who is this guy? How does he know my name? How does he know Charlie’s name?

“I-I am.”

“Good. I am Velri, your lawyer, hired by your exchange partner to defend you against your charges of attempted sapiophagy. Have you been questioned yet?”

“No.”

I get a lawyer?

“Even better. I’m here to discuss our defense strategy. Tell me, what happened?”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran exchange participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 10^(th)**, 2241

 

It’s been just over [two weeks] since my arrest, and finally the court proceedings are coming to a close. The prosecution fought viciously, painting me as a raider and ‘sapiophagist’, meaning ‘sapient eater’, which disgusted me to no end. But it was all over as soon as Velri pulled what Charlie called his ‘trump card’.

Velri had strutted up to the area where the lawyers make their statements, as much as a Venlil can strut. He played the video of my arrest, then asked what was wrong with it. The entire courthouse was silent, but for the shifting of bodies and clothing. He told us what was wrong.

I had the right to remain silent.

Anything I said could and would be used against me in a court of law.

I had the right to a lawyer.

Should I be unable to afford one, one will be appointed to me.

Then he asked where in the video I was told those things before I was handcuffed, claw-bagged, muzzled, and shoved in the backseat.

Everyone in the courtroom stayed silent, but the mood had shifted. What used to be awkward ignorance was shocked speechlessness. Apparently, my basic rights had been completely violated, and I was entirely unaware.

It didn’t take long to wrap up. The Miranda rights being withheld from me was more than enough, but there was also the dashcams, bodycams, and corroboration from the 911 operator who had heard both Charlie’s and my voice. I was quickly found ‘not guilty’, and I was able to relax. Charlie didn’t press charges against the offending officers, saying they were going to get enough coming to them from their higher-ups.

I’m laying on my bed, trying to catch up on my weeks-due English practice when I hear Charlie call my name. I rise, clicking off my holopad. My mouth gapes in a massive yawn, and I stretch as I walk towards his voice.

I round the corner, and I stop as I see Charlie standing with the front door open, a worried expression on his face as he looks at me. A human and an Arxur stand on the threshold, both wearing formal attire.

“Kosie, these people came to see you. Should I be worried?” he asks, and my tail lashes as my mind whirls with fearful possibility.

Are these people who still think I tried to eat that Venlil?

Are they here to hurt me?

What’s happening?

He must sense my fear, because his entire demeanor changes. He turns and speaks to the visitors this time.

“Why are you here?”

The Arxur speaks. “We are here to retrieve Kosif and to return her to Wriss. I would have come myself, but Mr. Mann here was required to accompany me as my liaison.”

As soon as the name of my planet is said, my anxiety goes into overdrive.

No. No. It can’t be. I WAS INNOCENT! NO!

I begin to step backward into the house, my tail lashing wildly behind me, banging into the wall loudly.

“If this is about the court case, she was found innocent on all charges.” Charlie says.

“We know this, but it has created an interplanetary incident nonetheless. We have to keep this quiet and out of the public eye, and in order to do that, we need her back on Wriss. She has done nothing wrong, but her government has required her to be taken back.”

“Do you have a warrant or other paperwork for coming onto my property and taking an unwilling person from their current planet of residence?”

“We need no such thing, because while she lives here, she is still a citizen of Wriss. Please let us in.”

“I cannot. There are personal reasons that have been confided in me that provide enough reason for her to stay.”

The human speaks up. “No matter the reasons, we must retrieve her and bring her back to Wriss. Now let us in.”

I retreat further into the house, adrenaline starting to trickle into me. Charlie refuses to move, widening his stance to resist any potential shoves. Unfortunately, the human named Mann simply pulls the trigger on a boxy gun-like weapon, and Charlie crumples to the ground with a yell of pain.

I bolt at the sound, but I’m too close to the visitors for me to escape their strange weapon. Two metal points prick my back, and my muscles spasm as electricity arcs through me. I stumble, then fall as the energy courses from the weapon. I try to lift myself, but find I am completely paralyzed. Fear crescendos in my head, and if I could writhe, I most certainly would. But I can only lay limply as the two visitors pick me up and begin to carry me by my limbs to their vehicle.

The interior gives me flashbacks to the police car I was inside only a couple [weeks] ago. Any room left between the level of fear I have now, and the maximum level of fear possible, is now nonexistent. I am well and truly panicking. The vehicle starts, and distance between me and my personal hell begins to close.

Charlie, don’t feel too bad… you did the best you could.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, Arxur-Terran exchange participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 10^(th)**, 2241

 

I failed. I couldn’t do it. I lied to her. I couldn’t keep her safe.

I lay on the cold and dirty floor, waiting for my muscles to respond so I can chase my exchange partner down. My mind swirls with hateful thoughts. Hateful against myself, against the two clownshoes who took Kosif from me, against the Wrissian government in general.

I need to get her back. Come on, muscles, MOVE!

Everything hurts, but I manage to get onto all fours, then my knees, and finally to my feet. I totter, and my balance shifts a little before settling.

I need to get to her before she leaves.

I run to the dish where my keys sit, nearly slapping it to the floor as I lunge for my keychain. Skidding slightly, I pull a one-eighty and sprint out the door to my car.

The spaceport. That’s where they’re headed. They must be.

Twenty nerve-wracking minutes later, I pull towards the gate and flash my exchange ID, granting me access. I hurriedly park and practically fly into the building, dodging around humans and aliens alike. People yell, but I pay no mind.

Find Kosif. Find Kosif. Need to find her. Find her before it’s too late.

I burst into the arrival area, which is packed with people of all species. Weaving through as fast as I can, I do my best not to bump or jostle. The rumble of engines reaches me through my ears and feet.

I’m almost out of time. GO!

I throw open one last door, running onto the launchpad… and the spaceship is already headed for the clouds.

My knees hit the tarmac, and tears pour down my face as I realize I’m too late. I sob into my hands until an employee puts their hand on my shoulder and firmly guides me out of the spaceport.

I’ve truly failed now.

I sit despondently in my idling car.

There’s nothing more I can do here.

An idea pushes through the emotional muck of my headspace.

I’m not exactly stuck here*, though.*

I grin despite the situation.

I’m coming, Kosif. Stay strong.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur civilian

Date: (Standardized Human Time) May 11^(th)**, 2241

 

I’m back on Wriss again. Somewhere I’d never thought I’d be again.

I guess this is it. I’m never going to be able to leave.

The vehicle stops and pulls me from my thoughts, but my lethargic mood stays. I step out of the car at the behest of the driver, not even feeling fear at the sight of my father’s house. I’ve come to a grim acceptance.

I’m going to die here.

The driver gets out with me, and he presses a small button on the house to signal the resident of a visitor. My father opens the door. He sees me and his lips lift, showing his teeth in a cruel sneer.

“Shoulda known you’d come back. You always do. Welcome home, little girl.”

I should never have left. Better not to have known Charlie than to have him torn away.

NEXT>>

Greetings, everyone! Thanks to the support of a full two Redditors that enjoy my work, I shall soldier on and continue pouring out my creativity into the world. Nothing shall stop the adventures of Charlie and Kosif! In this chapter, you'll find that Miranda's gone missing, gun safety, and many, many assumptions.

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Chapter 5

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 25^(th)**, 2241

 

We’ve been riding in the car for the better part of [one hour], and Charlie has abjectly refused to tell me where we’re headed. Right after I’d finished my coffee, he’d practically pushed me out the door to the car. As I was getting into my seat, he placed a small black case into the rear sitting area as he got into the driver’s seat.

What’s in the case? And why is he so excited?

“I think you might like this place, Kosie. If you want to experience some purely human pastimes, this is where you go.”

He steered to the right, towards a small building with a multitude of cars in front of it.

Bold City Shooters? What is this place?

Charlie parks the car, and I slowly get out while he reaches back for the small case. I hear loud bangs coming from behind the facility.

“What is it you brought me here for?” I ask, my patience beginning to wane.

“We’re going to partake in one of the most American things on Earth.”

I sigh at his theatrics. “And that is?”

“We’re gonna go shoot guns.”

Guns? As in kinetic weaponry?

“You brought me out here to use firearms?”

“Great idea, isn’t it? I had the thought last night, and I wanted to see if you liked it.”

He’s obviously very excited about this.

Can’t hurt to try.

I lash my tail and try bobbing my head to tell him I liked it. Charlie’s face splits with his smile.

We walk into the small building, and Charlie pays while I look at all the firearms racked on the walls behind the counter.

There’s so many!

“Alright, I rented a Remington 700 and a Glock 40 for you to try out, along with enough ammo for what should be a few hours. Here, hold this, my arms are full.”

Charlie hands me a long thin weapon, surprisingly heavy for its size. I heft the firearm, inspecting it, and nearly drop it when Charlie yells.

“Whoa! Kosif, stop!” He holds his arm out like he’s about to grab the gun from me.

I freeze. Oh no. Did I screw up already?

“That one’s on me. First rule of guns: if you’re not using them, point the barrel at the sky or the ground. No exceptions.”

I dip my head as my tail twitches in embarrassment. “I’ve never used a kinetics weapon. Sorry.”

“Hey, no problem. Just… don’t do that again. Now let’s go shoot stuff.”

Charlie grabs two curved clamps, then we walk out the rear door into the actual range. Loud bangs constantly assault my ears, and I wince. My tail slowly sways back and forth. Charlie holds out one of the clamps to me.

“You’ll need this, unless you want to be deaf very early in life.”

I hold them for a moment, wondering what to do. Charlie slips his pair over his fleshy ears.

Oh, these go over my earholes. Why don’t I catch on to these things faster?

The ear covers squeeze my head gently, and the world outside goes nearly silent. Charlies waves his hand, beckoning me to follow him. He places his cargo onto a worn wooden table, and pops open the black case. Inside is a weapon like one of those he rented. It’s a small black firearm shaped like an [L], only slightly bigger than its rented counterpart. We sit down, and he shows me how to load and unload the gun I was handed, along with the other two. I also learn the two rules about guns.

First, the bad end of the boom stick only points to things I want to see through, and second, keep my booger hook off the bang switch until I’m ready to bring the hate.

After a few demonstrations, I get the hang of it and Charlies hands me a heavy box and points at an open stall. I bring the padded butt of the rifle to my shoulder like Charlie showed me. One claw goes under the barrel to aim, the other to the trigger. I lean my head down, shrugging my shoulder until my eye lines up with two metal blocks on the very end of the gun.

I sight a metal disc hanging from a chain far down the range. One eye closes automatically, and I line up the small metal blocks onto the target. My claw drifts to the trigger, and I pull. A bang penetrates through the ear covers, and the rifle kicks back with a surprising amount of force. Surprised, I take a step backwards, lowering the gun and turning to Charlie. He’s holding up two of his clawless ‘thumbs’ and smiling, so I must have done good. I look back down range.

My tail lashes in pride as I see the small disc swinging from the impact.

I’m not too bad at this.

The next few hours show me that I still have a lot to learn. I’m not too bad, but not all that great either. By the time we reach the end of our ammo, it’s about a 70-30 chance for whether I hit my target or not. The small firearms were hard to get used to, especially because I was afraid the gun would hit me in the face with how much recoil it had.

The ‘Remington’, Charlie called it, was where I seemed to shine. I certainly enjoyed using that one, and Charlie said we’ll have to do this again soon. I, for one, agree.

We walk out of the range hungry and still getting used to having a sense of hearing again. My shoulder’s already sore, and my arm muscles ache from constantly hefting the weapons. We’re currently discussing lunch plans and whether to eat out when we pull onto another road. The scenery is somewhere between rural and suburban, due to the farmland on one side and the houses behind a stand of trees on the other.

A gray car not too unlike Charlie’s is ahead of us by about three more vehicle lengths. Suddenly, the red lights on the back light up, and the car begins to swerve. Charlie swears for the first time since I’ve met him.

“Brace yourself!” he yells as our car suddenly slows.

I open my mouth to answer, but I’m strangled by the force of my bulk slamming against the small gray belt over my chest and waist. A strangled grunt escapes me as physics takes its toll. The car ahead swerves again, then plunges towards the trees. A sickening crunch splits the air as it’s forced to finally stop. Our motion ceases, but much less catastrophically. As soon as we stop moving, Charlie’s instantly out of the car and running towards the crash.

“Kosif, help me out!” he calls as he reaches the vehicle.

I extricate myself at record pace, and I reach Charlie just as he slams a pointed rock into one of the car’s windows. The glass shatters instantly, showering the ground in small glass beads. Inside, a large uncomfortable-looking pillow dominates the seat, almost completely obscuring the small fuzzy occupant.

Wait, humans aren’t small and fuzzy! This is a Venlil! Why on Wriss are they driving?

The sheep-like alien groans as Charlie begins to deflate the pillow.

“Kosie, help me out! No, call 911 on your holopad!” he says, sounding agitated. I jerk out of my awe at the destruction and unclip my pad. I open the call function and pull up a keypad.

Wait, how do I enter the number nine? There’s only eight base digits!

Charlie must see me struggling. “Hold down the power button and shake it!” he says as he stabs the pillow with his knife to deflate it faster.

After a quick shake, the pad tells me that emergency services are going to be notified in 10 seconds. I punch the green button.

“911, what’s your emergency?” a female voice says calmly from the other end.

My tail lashes as I force my rising panic back from my mind.

“There’s been a car crash, and a Venlil’s inside, and they hit a tree, and Charlie’s trying to get them out…” I’m already losing the battle.

“Okay, miss, calm down please. Where are you?”

“I-I don’t know…”

That’s okay. We’re tracing your call right now, do not hang up.”

Charlie yells behind me. “Kosif, tell them there’s more than one!”

I relay that to the woman on the call.

“Thank you. Emergency services has been dispatched to your location. Is the vehicle currently smoking or on fire?” she asks.

I begin to say no, but Charlie’s curse interrupts me. “Kosie, it’s smoking! We need to get these guys outta here now!” The lady on the phone must hear him, because she immediately changes her tone.

“Yes, get them away from the vehicle immediately. Do your best not to jostle them. You can hang up now.”

I poke the red button and run to Charlie’s side.

 

 

Video File: Video528.mjpeg, found on Ed Lewis’ holopad

 

The video begins, shaky and pointed towards the ground. Panting and sounds of someone running can be heard. The view suddenly swings upwards, showing an Arxur wet with orange blood and carrying a small black and orange lump in their arms.

A heavily accented voice calls from behind the camera, and the Arxur’s head turns towards the source.

“Ey, you! I’ve called the police! You put that Venlil down! Down!”

The Arxur stops and speaks in their native language of hisses, clicks, and guttural grunts.

“Don’t you hiss at me, boy! Who said you could eat that poor fuzzball?”

The cameraman’s hand reaches for the Arxur as they close in. The Arxur hisses again, their tail lashing, then breaks into a run. The camera holder begins to fall behind, and only has enough breath to yell one more thing between pants.

“You’ll get what you deserve! You won’t step foot off your [condemned] planet again!”

The video, aimed once again at the ground, ends.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 25^(th)**, 2241

 

I lay my fragile cargo down as gently as I can, at what I can only hope to be a safe distance from the wreck. A human who was chasing me with a holopad is bent double in the road, panting. I had tried to explain I was helping, but his reaction told me it was in vain, translator or no. He simultaneously both misunderstood and misgendered me, neither of which I cared much about. It’s a very common mistake from what I’ve heard. He’d yelled something about law enforcement and my planet, but I was too caught up getting this Venlil to safety to listen.

I begin to run back to Charlie to help with the last of the passengers, but I stop when I hear sirens piercing the air.

Help is here!

Multiple vehicles topped with flashing lights round the corner, and I jog towards them, waving my arms. The blue vehicle stops in front of me, and two uniformed Terrans exit. I point to the two injured Venlil twenty feet away, but they only point their firearms at me and begin yelling.

“Hands up! Don’t move!”

Which one?

They push me face first onto the hood of their car, two meaty hands holding my head still. My arms are yanked behind me painfully, and I hear metal clicks as they’re chained together. I immediately begin to panic.

This isn’t what happened at the restaurant! Did I do something wrong? What’s going on?

Heavy cloth is forced over my claws and feet. The officers speak only to yell orders at me. I try to buck against the weight crushing my snout, but they lean in, and a leather loop slips over my muzzle. I continue to writhe, hissing quietly. I’m grabbed under my arms and pulled off the hood towards one side of the car. I resist, digging my feet into the concrete, but the cloth keeps me from getting any purchase. Charlie bellows behind me, and I turn to see him cradling another Venlil, running towards me.

I’m shoved headfirst into the back of the vehicle, and I’m stuck on my side. I notice that Charlie’s shirt has orange stains on it, and I look down and see that I’ve got orange all over myself too.

Is that why they’re treating me like this? Charlie should be able to explain.

The door shuts as Charlie gets into a vehement argument with one of the officers. A Zurulian nurse gently removes the injured Venlil from Charlie’s arms as the two Terrans fight. My exchange partner is clearly upset, and if he were Wrissian, his teeth would be bared and his tail would be lashing.

I can’t breathe with this thing on. I can’t move. What did I do wrong?

I can’t open my mouth to breathe, let alone speak. The leather strap is crushing my nostrils. I force small breaths through my clenched teeth as the officers enter the vehicle again. Then they both begin to speak.

“Thought you could get away with it, didn’t ya?”

“I knew one of you would pull something like this eventually.”

“You shoulda on your own [deity-condemned] planet with all the other killers.”

“Man, praying on the weak like that? [Male beast of burden] move. At least have the [male gonads] to pick on someone who can fight back.”

“You scaly [male beasts of burden] are all the same. Guess steal, kill, and destroy is all you know.”

“Enjoy your free ride back to your home planet, [literal translation: idiotic wild donkey].”

I wasn’t even able to open my mouth and defend myself.

NEXT>>

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What's this I hear the nonexistent comics say? More meat? Rejoice, for a nice long chapter is coming right for you! In this installment, you'll find bacon, epinephrine, and a waitress. As always, thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe I get to play in.

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Chapter 3

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 24^(th)**, 2241

 

Six hours after my late-night/early-morning fridge raid, I sit on the covered porch on the rear of Charlie’s house, soaking in the sun. It was warm already, a comfortable kind of warm that made you feel like the day was ready to go right.

You don’t have to watch your step anymore. You’re not getting sent back.

I breathe the Terran air deeply, and I can feel all the stress of the past two days begin to subside.

Alright, that’s enough lounging around, Kosie. Let’s go see if Charlie’s up now.

I rise from the rocking chair, stretching. I walk quietly inside, so as not to disturb my partner if he’s still sleeping. I hear a knocking sound from the direction of my bedroom, along with Charlie’s voice.

“Ko-Siffy. Rosie-Kosie. Ring-Around-The-Kosie. Koaster.” Charlie was knocking on my bedroom door, which I had left closed. I walk up behind him, and he doesn’t notice due to his concentration on listening into an empty room.

“We can still be friends until you start saying those names in public.” I lean over and whisper in his ear, and he jerks in surprise, nearly hitting me with one of his flailing hands. “After that, it gets… difficult.”

Charlie’s panting, holding one of his hands to his chest. “I was just trying to wake you up for the gym. I figured if I annoyed you enough, you’d get up to tell me to stop. I’m guessing you were already awake and I was late to the party?”

Not sure what party I was having, but I guess?

“What did you say you’re taking me to? The word didn’t translate.”

“Uh, the gym?” Still didn’t translate. “It’s an exercise facility where you go to strengthen yourself and increase your endurance.”

A human exercise facility? That seems interesting, at least to see once.

“Oh,” he continues, “I also got you a music subscription to help you concentrate if you need it. It’s also to let you listen to Earth music while you’re here. I got the premium level, so you won’t have to deal with human consumerism.”

“What’s consumerism?” I ask.

“Well, the short version is that a lot of businesses want to sell you stuff. They sell it by inundating you with advertisements that showcase their service or product. It’s extremely annoying, but it’s part of how capitalism works. Most of the ads wouldn’t be relevant for you, so I chose to save your sanity. But no need to worry about all that. You hungry? I’m making breakfast burritos.”

More cooked Terran food? Yes, please.

“Yes, please! What do you put in those?” I ask as he walks past me into the kitchen.

“Well, it’s gonna have a pork cut called bacon, some mild salsa, and it’s all wrapped in a kind of flat bread, but…”

“What?” Was something wrong?

“Well, it’s just that the main ingredient, if you think about it too long, it’s kinda weird and you may not want it.”

“I’m not gonna know whether or not I’m fine with it until you tell me. Besides, Arxur eat almost every part of their hunting trophies.”

His head tilts forward, and he rubs the back of his neck with one hand.

“It’s, um, it’s unfertilized eggs.”

They eat that? Charlie turns and look at me. “Did I just ruin your appetite? I did, didn’t I?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ve just never heard of anyone eating that. Will I be able to?”

He relaxes. “Well, I Googled your normal diet,” What is Google? “and basically the only thing you can’t digest is the salsa and the tortilla, which are just the seasoning and plate-to-face delivery method.” He turns back towards the kitchen. “Food’ll be ready to eat in about 10 minutes. I guess you can go make sure you’re ready to leave after.”

I walked into my room, picking up my holopad from my bed. I had intended to catch up on the news, but a thought interrupted me.

How did Charlie learn my language? Something about a database?

I pulled up the default search engine on my pad and typed ‘language database’. Tens of thousands of results appeared. Things like ‘World Atlas of Language’, ‘Ethnologue’, and ‘Glottolog’ filled my screen. None of them said anything about teaching anything, so I added ‘learning’ to my search. Somehow, more results came up as a match, but were entirely different from the last ones. Instead of ‘WAL’, I found things like ‘Duolingo’, ‘Babbel’, and the top result was something called ‘Rosetta Stone Interstellar’.

I prodded the link, and it brought me to its home page, showcasing its twenty-five human languages, and new alien languages being added frequently. I didn’t see Wrissian yet, but Ven and Gojidi were two of the nonhuman languages on the list.

Maybe I could learn whatever language Charlie speaks… what was it called again?

 I continued scrolling downward, and nearly choked on air at the price.

Three hundred credits?! This is heinous!

“Kosif! Breakfast!” Charlie’s voice snapped me out of my shock. A new kind of meat smell was wafting in from the kitchen, and I had to restrain my pace as I walked in so as not to seem too eager. Charlie was just walking to his own seat at the table as I entered, and I couldn’t keep myself from sniffing the air as his back was turned. I could feel myself salivating in anticipation, and for once, I wasn’t scared of Charlie’s reaction.

A pile of yellow sat on a slab of thin flat bread, dotted with red and green cubes. The most glorious part, however, was the three strips of pork laying across the pile. I looked up at Charlie, who had folded his tortilla into a little edible basket to carry his food. I turned back to my plate, and realized I had no idea how to eat this properly.

“Um, Charlie?” I asked, mildly sheepishly.

He made a grunting noise of what I assumed to be acknowledgement, and he focused on me.

“How do I eat this?”

He swallows, and puts down his half-eaten meal. “Take the left and right edge, fold them in, and fold the bottom edge on top of those. Do it right, and you have a burrito.”

I attempt to follow his guidance, holding the left and right ends of the flat bread in the center with one claw, and pulling the bottom edge towards the middle with the other. Now it looks like what Charlie has, but I’m also out of claws.

How am I supposed to pick this up? Do I need extra fingers?

Charlie must have noticed my struggle because he comes over and helps me with the tortilla. He holds it closed with one clawless digit, and motions for me to pick it up.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it at some point.”  He says, and I feel him pat my shoulder. I freeze at the contact, bad memories rushing up to the front of my mind.

Not now, girl. You’re far away now, and you won’t have to worry anymore.

I shake my head slightly, and I guess Charlie sees, because a look of concern is on his face as he leans into my field of view.

“Did you not like that? I’ll stop if that was uncomfortable or inappropriate.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Thanks for the help, and the food.”

I really need to stop thinking about that. You’re safe on Earth now, Kosie. You’re okay.

I finally begin my meal, savoring the bacon strips.

This is now my favorite Terran food, claws down. How does one go about getting a lifetime supply of this?

My breakfast is finished all too soon, and I sigh as I place my dish in the sink. Charlie pops around the corner into the kitchen, dressed in a tunic-like covering that went over his upper half and the same red shorts from last night.

“You ready to go?” he asks, and I move my tail in agreement. He looks at me, a slight look of confusion on his face. “That was a yes, right?”

AGH! I forgot that humans can’t read tail-sign. “Uh, yes. You are correct. That is a yes.”

“Alright, let’s go then.” Charlie turns towards the front door, and I trail closely behind. He grabs a set of keys from a rack, and they jangle in his hand. I wince at the noise, but I don’t think he notices.

In the car, I pull out my holopad and begin looking for language learning sites again. After some more quick research, I choose Duolingo for my attempt in learning English.

I should try saying Charlie’s name to see if I should even bother trying.

I begin by whispering to myself, hoping he won’t hear.

“Shaaarrr-leeee. Shuh. Chuhh. Chaaaaaerrr. Scharr-lee.”

The name feels utterly… well, alien in my mouth. During one of my attempts, I see Charlie’s head perk up and he glances at me. I say nothing, not wanting to clue him in, and he narrows his eyes at me. I was aware of my tail twitching again with my nerves, trying to return the surprise he had given me. He refocuses on driving, and I return to attempting to say his name, much quieter this time.

I don’t get much better at it, and Charlie doesn’t look over again, so I don’t think he suspects what I’m doing. He pulls the car into the parking lot of a large square building with a large sign on it that simply said, ‘the Y’.

What is the Y?

“What is the Y?” I ask Charlie as we exit his vehicle.

“To most people it’s a fitness center, but this one is also paired with a hospital. You can take showers here, participate in various sports, exercise regimens, and martial arts here too. We’re just going to use the gym.”

The temperature had risen slightly since this morning, but any excess heat was quickly relieved by the air conditioning inside the building. Charlie walks up to a desk where a human woman sat at a computer. The woman greeted him, and he greeted her back, then scanned his card for both of us.

The ‘Wellness Floor’, according to the sign, had any kind of machine you could think of. Many species of sapients were spread across the area. There was even another Arxur on the floor, and we gave each other the customary tail-lash of greeting.

“So, Kosif. Do you want to join me in my routine, or do you want to try something new for both of us?”

“What’s your routine?” I ask, my eyes still roving the gym.

“I do some cardio, and targeted muscle exercises. Biceps, triceps, quads, core. All the major groups.”

“What did you have in mind for the ‘something new’?”

He turned slightly red. “Well, I know you’re a female, and I don’t want to be that One Guy. I mean, we’ve all heard the horror stories of exchange participants needing to be removed from programs because of… reasons. I was wondering… if we could try wrestling with each other. There’s a boxing/wrestling ring here if you want.”

Why did One Guy sound like it was capitalized? However, isolated as Wriss is, even I have heard tell of these ‘reasons’. I would like to know where a human compares to me.

“That seems fine enough. I don’t think anyone will get mad over us learning about the differences in our strengths.”

He breathes out deeply. “Okay, follow me then.”

Charlie leads me through another set of doors, opening into another large room with two raised platforms inside. Both had layers of colored ropes cordoning off the edges, a grippy white floor, and a set of stairs up to opposing rope-walls. One was already being used for what looked like a learn-to-fight lesson between a human and a Gojid, so we walked towards the other. Neither of them paid us any mind. We slip between the ropes into the ring, and Charlie walks to one corner of the platform.

“That one’s for you,” he says as he points to the opposite side, “and the only rules here are no teeth, no claws, no tail. Pin your opponent’s back to the ground to win”

“Why is it that I’m handicapped and you’re not?”

“Of course I’m handicapped! I don’t have a tail, or claws, or even a flashlight! This is the only way I can think to even the field, because I’m not pulling a knife on you to pretend I have claws.”

What does he mean by no flashlight? You know what, I’m not even going to ask.

“You ready?” Charlie asks, and I lash my tail in acceptance.

He nods, then lowers himself into what must be a human combat position. He’s lowered his torso slightly, leaning forward and standing on the front half of his feet, and his hands are up and open by his face. I slouch further down than normal, my claws at hip level, my tail curved over to one side of me.

We stalk closer to each other, the tension in the air palpable. He moves to one side, attempting a slow flank, and I move to begin a circling move with him. Neither of us have made the first move, until Charlie jerks towards me. I flinch my hands upward, opening them to catch him, but he never gets that close. He’s still in the same location.

He faked me out! And I fell for it bait, rope, and snare.

I was slightly off-balance, and he rushed in for real this time. Charlie approached quickly in an erratic pattern, throwing off my first lunge. He spun away from my grasping claws, then ducked, wrapping his arms around my middle. I wriggled, trying to escape his embrace as he lifted me slightly off the ground. He stumbled slightly with the shifting of my weight, and I took that as encouragement to keep going. He dropped me on my side, and I thumped against the platform. I turned onto my stomach to get my legs underneath me, and Charlie jumped on top of me. My arms collapsed under our combined weight, and the blade of his forearm dug into the back of my neck. I was pinned, but the match wasn’t over yet, because he had yet to get my back on the ground. As I struggled to rise, Charlie began to speak in an odd voice.

“Hey guys, I’m at the YMCA right now, and I just found this amazing Wrissian space gator. Isn’t she cool-looking?” What on Wriss is he saying? “She started to come after me, so I had to yoink her quick before she grabbed ahold of me.” Is he making fun of me?

Barking noises like Charlie’s laughter sounded across the gym. I looked up.

Oh no. There’s spectators now.

Five total with three humans, a Venlil, and the other Arxur I had seen before. Fear rushed through me as we locked eyes. Terrible memories flooded my mind, and I struggled harder to dislodge Charlie. I leaned to one side, then shoved the ground with all my might. Charlie slid off my scales, both of us rising quickly to our feet. A shine of wetness covered my partner’s skin, and he was breathing deeply, his eyes wide and dilated, a wide smile across his face. He was enjoying this.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two more gym-goers filter in. The twinge in my gut surged again. Charlie started towards me again, but I was ready this time. I used his own medicine against him, picking him up and trying to drop him on his back. He thudded against the floor, his breath whooshing out of him, and I raised my foot to plant it on his chest. Scrambling, he barrel-rolled sideways, barely avoiding my pin. He rose into a very low squat, then kicked out a foot and hooked my back claw. I instantly toppled onto my back, and Charlie leapt at the chance. Next thing I knew, he was straddling my chest and pinning my biceps with his knees, holding my wrists to the mat with his hands.

It’s over.

“Good game, Kosif.” Charlie says as he levers himself off me. He stands and holds out his hand. “Lemme help you up.”

I take his clawless appendage, and he pulls me back into a standing position. His face is slightly pink, and his breath is coming in great gasps. I look at the now-dispersing spectators, and a rush of unbidden shame fills my entire brain.

Kosif, stop! You no longer have to worry about being beaten. You’re far away from all that now.

My own muscles are aching, and I sit on the edge of the ring, propping my head on the stretchy ropes. My own heart is still racing from our match, but even though I was bested… I still felt good. Like participating was the fun part, not just winning.

“Phew,” Charlie says as he sits down next to me, drinking from a small paper cone. “That was a level of workout I have not had in a while. You feel like going again?”

What harm could there be?

“Why not?” I say with a tail lash of agreement.

Three bouts later, Charlie and I were both lying on the ring floor, gasping for oxygen. His clothes were nearly soaked through, and my tongue was lolling out of my mouth because I was too tired to keep my jaws closed.

“Let’s…” Charlie pants, “go… get some water.”

I can’t even twitch my tail to agree.

Oh gods-blessed water fountain. Why don’t we have these on Wriss?

The meager amount of water held by the paper cones was not nearly enough to quench my thirst, no matter how many in a row I drank. Eventually I give up and stick my head under the bottle-filling attachment, the cool life-lubricant flowing directly into me.

Ahh, that’s the stuff.

I wiped the excess liquid from my snout, and met with Charlie in the front area where we walked in. I checked my holopad for the time, not knowing how to read a human clock.

[Two hours]?! We’d been wrestling for that long?

Now that I thought about it, the breaks between matches had gotten increasingly longer, as did the matches themselves. I marveled at the fact that Charlie was even tired, since I’d heard stories of their stamina that almost defied reality.

“Aren’t humans persistence predators?” I ask as I look back on Charlie’s demeanor after our bouts.

“Yes, but we’re not all as insanely fit as you hear. Sure, we have near-divine stamina compared to other species, but wrestling uses both our fast-twitch and our slow-twitch muscles.”

“What does twitchiness have to do with your muscles?”

“No, it’s not that our muscles are twitchy, it’s that fast-twitch muscles can contract quickly, making for powerful movements and explosiveness. Slow-twitch means that the muscles can contract slowly, making for endurance. Humans have a ton of slow-twitch muscles, so we can walk for very long distances before we collapse.”

“How is it that you even can walk that far?”

“It has to do with how we walk, and what we walk on. Our feet are very small relative to yours, because our heels actually touch the ground. Other species don’t have that, because they walk on the balls of their feet, the front portion, all the time. It’s good for sprinting, but bad for stamina. We also don’t walk, not technically. Instead, we fall for a really long time. All that walking is for us is just catching ourselves before we hit the ground.”

This took a second to sink into my tired brain.

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s hard to understand. Let’s just go home and get showered. Maybe we’ll go out for lunch, expose you to some new food.”

Now that’s something I can understand. New Terran food? I’m in.

We walk outside, and the temperature is somehow warmer than when we walked in. The blue sky was mostly empty of clouds, and the light of Sol beat down on us. Inside the car was sheer pain, because I just slid into it, thinking that it would be cool inside already.

OH DEAR [deity of the sun], IT’S HOT!

The seat burns slightly against my scales, and I practically jumped out of the vehicle. It rocks as I exit, and Charlie chuckles at my reaction.

“I guess I should’ve warned you. The sun makes the inside of our cars into ovens. I really do need to get a set of sun shields.”

He opens the door on his side, flapping it open and shut several times before climbing in. After cranking the key and flipping a few dials to blue, he motions for me to join him. The seat’s still uncomfortably hot, but that’s nothing compared to the small piece of metal on the seatbelt. I hiss as I try to finagle the belt across me without touching the searing brand. Deliciously cool air flows over my scales, and I sigh as Charlie starts the car again.

Now back at home, Charlie’s showing me how a human shower works.

“You pull this lever to turn on the water. Left is hot, right is cold, and the water will come from the little spout up there. I assume you have your own soap, otherwise use this body wash. Squirt the soap on this loofah,” he holds up a wad of strange fabric, “and rub it all over your body. There’re towels hanging on the door. I relinquish to you the privilege of the first shower.” And with that, he left, closing the door behind him.

I unclipped my pouch belt and stepped into the tub and twisted the lever over the faucet. A stream of cold water shoots out of the shower head, nailing me in the face. I jerk backwards, groping wildly for the water lever. After a few seconds of flailing, I manage to slap the faucet off.

Dear [deity of the ocean], that’s cold!

I ready myself, then flip the faucet open again. This time the water isn’t as cold, and I fiddle with the temperature until I find a place I like.

Now that’s much more like it. This is quite nice…

As the warm water trickles down my scales, I pull out my own soap and squirt it onto the wad of rough fabric. I squish the wad a few times and swipe it across my arm. A pleasant rubbing sensation comes from the loofah, and I do it again. And again. Multiple times. I can feel my skin rejuvenating somehow.

Oh [deity of pleasure], why haven’t these been invented on Wriss?

I end up washing my entire body at least twice over to justify the use of the loofah. Toweling off, I feel like a new woman. I reclip my belt around my waist and exit the bathroom.

“Shower’s open, Charlie!” I say out loud.

“Thanks, Kosie!” I hear him respond from elsewhere in the house.

He appears from the front end of the house, holding a bundle of clothes as he walks past me. The door closes, and I hear a click as it locks. I head into the living room and pull out my holopad.

This is a perfect opportunity to start learning English.

I prod the green icon with a claw, and the startup menu for the app appears. I input my name and learning stage (non-human with no experience), and a picture of an egg loads onto my screen.

Level 1.

I’m learning to say the letter “M” when I hear the bathroom door open again. I’m lying across the couch at this point, listening to my holopad when Charlie walks in. I freeze, staring at him as he walks in. He notices and pauses while my tail twitches guiltily.

“What are y…” he asks.

“NOTHING.” I say a little too loudly.

He tilts his head slightly, his eyes narrow, but then he lifts his shoulders and keeps walking. I’ve moved on to the letter “O” when Charlie walks back in.

“Hey, Kosif, you wanna go to a restaurant for lunch?”

“Restaurant?”

“It’s a place where you can sit down and have some food made for you. You get to eat stuff you normally can’t, and you can also hang with your friends at the same time.”

That sounds nice.

“That sounds nice.” I say, rising from the couch and clipping my holopad back into place. English would have to wait. “What kind of food is there?”

“Well, there’s about as many kinds of restaurants as there are cuisines. I’m thinking Italian, since we used a lot of calories earlier. Both of us are definitely going to walk out full.”

Filling Terran food? That sounds even better than regular Terran food.

“Even better. When do we leave?” I ask.

Charlie looks at a band on his wrist. “It’s about lunchtime now, so we can leave immediately if you want.”

I instantly get off the couch and start for the front door. Charlie laughs and follows.

We pull into the parking lot, and Charlie starts speaking as we approach the building.

“This particular line of restaurants has been open for 259 years here on Earth. How it’s done that, I have no idea, but this seems like a good place to start you on Earth cuisine.”

I notice the large sign above the door and realize I don’t have my visual translator on me. “What’s this place called?”

“This is the Olive Garden.”

Olives? Is that what Italian food is based on?

We walk into the restaurant, the blast of cool air I’ve come to associate with human buildings flowing over my skin. I twitch with cold, and I notice Charlie’s arm hairs are standing on end.

What does that mean? I really should have read that primer…

A human female, similar-looking to Charlie in their brown headfuzz and lighter skin, stands behind a desk at the very front of the restaurant. Inside are patrons of multiple species, of every kind of diet. I observe the interior, while Charlie acquires a table for us two.

The smells from the kitchen area were intense and almost jumbled with the amount of different ingredients being manipulated. I take a deep breath in. Charlie comes back from the front desk, and gestures towards a long bench.

“Hostess says we’ll be seated in ten.”

Ten what?

“Ten what?” I ask.

“Ten minutes. Don’t worry, it’s not that long. We’ll just sit over here until then.”

The seat is cushy, made of what looks like cheap leather. I sit and pull my tail over my legs to keep from taking up space. As Charlie sits down next to me, anxiety begins to leak back into me.

What if someone panics? It’ll only take one to start a stampede. What will happen if someone dies? I can’t live with that!

My tail starts to lash slowly on my lap, and one of my claws begins to tap on the linoleum floor. I see Charlie look down at my foot, then up at me.

“Kosie, are you okay? You seem nervous.”

“I-I’m afraid I’ll scare someone. Cause a stampede.” I stutter out despite myself.

“Why do you think you’d scare someone here? Here, let me show you.” Charlie stands up and walks over to some others who had been sitting there before we arrived. “Guys, look, an Arxur! Hey everybody, we got an Arxur here! Got an Arxur!” He walks back over to me after they don’t react other than to look at him in silent bewilderment. “See? Nobody cares.” He sits back down as my jaw drops.

He literally just called the entire restaurant’s attention to him just to prove that I’m not going to scare anyone. Why would he do that?

I shift in embarrassment.

Do people not actually care that I’m a descendant of those maniac butchers? I was expecting to have to slog through speciesism and discrimination my entire time here! Have people really changed that much?

While I’m still lost in my whirling thoughts, a black-wooled Venlil waves their paw at us to follow. They were of the stronger and uncured breed of their species, now the majority due to time’s passing. I trail Charlie, still marveling at people’s lack of fear. We’re led to a booth, and Charlie and I sit on opposite sides of the table.

“Greetings, my name is Vinra, and I’ll be your server for today.” Our server hands us our menus as she introduces herself. “May I start you off with some drinks?”

Charlie orders water for the both of us and opens his menu. I imitate him, and I’m shocked at the sheer amount of food one could order from here.

It fills the page! Multiple pages! Both sides! How am I going to choose? I should probably ask Charlie.

“Charlie, what would you recommend?” I ask, still perusing all the menu had to offer.

“As a starter for someone who’s never had Italian, I’d go with something simple like spaghetti and meatballs. Chicken alfredo’s not bad either.”

I think I’ll try that.

“Alright, I’ll trust you.” I say.

Vinra returns with our drinks, and Charlie thanks her.

“Are you ready to order?” she asks.

“Yes, we are.” Charlie says. “I’ll have the fettucine alfredo, and Kosif?”

“I’ll have the same.” I answer.

“Make sure she gets a little extra meat on hers, please.” Charlie says as Vinra fiddles with her holopad.

“No problem,” the Venlil answers, and she walks off.

She just had two predators order meat from the restaurant, and not an earflick in reaction! Dear [deity of stalwartness], exactly how wrong am I about people?

Our food comes carried on a tray by Vinra, steam wafting off of it in small clouds.

She’s literally handing food to hungry predators, and she’s so casual about it!

After she walks off to another table, I lean forward and speak in a low voice to Charlie. “How on Wriss is she able to do that?”

“Do what?” he asks, unrolling a tube of cloth.

“She just handed me, a hungry carnivore, a plate of meat without flinching or cowering. How?”

“Oh, she works in food service. There’s no way we’re the worst things she’s seen. Two polite predators are probably a cakewalk compared to some of her other days. Oh, you’re definitely going to want silverware for this food.”

I glance down at my plate, where a pile of off-white strips covered in white sauce and chunks of meat sat. Next to my plate is a roll of cloth identical to Charlie’s and I imitate him in unspooling it. Two metal sticks fall out, one a dull blade, the other similar to a [pitchfork].

Charlie’s holding the pitchfork-like utensil, and he lifts a small amount of food towards his face, blowing the steam from it. I continue imitating him, or rather I would, but the strips keep slipping from my utensil.

“Stab it gently through the noodles.” Charlie says, smiling at my attempts.

I finally manage to get a small pile of strips and a chunk of meat on the pitchfork, but I drop as I hear something crash to the floor behind me.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles ‘Charlie’ Carlyle, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 24^(th)**, 2241

 

I’m about to put the first bite of delicious chicken alfredo in my mouth when a Gojid tumbles out of the booth next to ours. They lay on the floor, trying to get up, grasping at their neck area. I stand and move past Kosif, who’s staring at the strange antics. Only when I get close does it finally click in my head.

DEAR GOD, THEY’RE CHOKING!

I drop to my knees, and my brain begins to race as it tries to pull a good idea out.

I can’t do the Heimlich without getting stabbed, I have to check their throat, maybe I can see it or pull it out.

“Hey, buddy, calm down,” I say more to myself than the Gojid, “I’m here to help.”

I pull open their mouth to try and see down their throat, only to have my view blocked by a massive tongue. The owner of the mouth begins to thrash, and now I can hear a wheezy breathing noise. Their face is beginning to swell, and the real reason clicks in my head.

I look back at Kosie, who’s still frozen stiff.

“Kosie, gimme your EpiPen!”

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 24^(th)**, 2241

 

Charlie turns towards me, and yells something. I didn’t catch what he said, and he flaps his hand at me again, asking for something.

“EpiPen! Give it to me!”

What on Wriss is an EpiPen?

He must realize I don’t know what that is, so he just yells some more.

“White tube! In one of your pockets! Don’t touch the ends! Come here!”

Shocked from my inaction, I rip open my belt pouches until I find a cylinder that I did not remember putting in there. Until I did. I got it at the spaceport with other things that I was told I ‘needed’. It was mostly just information stuff like a Wrissian visual translator download chip, a humanity primer, and stuff I kind of disregarded. How was I supposed to know this was actually important?

I pull out the tube, and rush to Charlie’s side.

“Great. Now grab their ankle and hold it still.”

He wraps his arm around the afflicted alien, threading it through the dangerous spines until he’s holding them close in a one-arm hug. I grab the Gojid’s left foot, and Charlie whispers into their ear.

“Alright, buddy. You’re about to get the biggest head rush of your life, try not to have a heart attack.”

Wait, heart attack?!

With that, Charlie lifts his free arm up, and slams one end of the tube into the Gojid’s thigh. Almost instantly, they take a giant breath in, shivering as though they’re cold. Charlie’s back is mostly turned towards me, and the Gojid’s head is over his shoulder. I know the exact moment they spot me, because they thrash harder than ever before. Charlie keeps them pulled against him, but he’s getting scratched for his efforts.

They really are still scared of me. Could’ve fooled anyone, but I guess even their masks slip.

I draw back and pull myself out of the Gojid’s field of view. A small crowd had gathered during Charlie’s escapade, and several of them were talking on their holopads to Terran emergency services.

I continue to sit in our booth as multiple vehicles arrive. One’s a very large, very red truck with ladders and valves on the side. Two are dark blue cars with white accents, and three uniformed officers exit, one Krakotl and two Terrans. The last is a box-shaped vehicle with enormous doors on the rear. Three more people hop out, two Zurulians and another Terran in white.

These must be the legendary Terran emergency responders.

Even us on Wriss had heard of the human EMTs who risked themselves time and again during the time of Betterment and the Federation.

The Gojid is bundled up by the paramedics, loaded onto a stretcher, and whisked out of the restaurant in minutes. The police ask a few questions, and it’s revealed that the afflicted Gojid was still cured, their family having not chosen to take the genetic edits. Likely cause was said to be a small insect uncaught by the staff.

As I’m sitting and semi-sulking in the booth, Charlie comes over and sits back down.

“Hey, the manager says we get our meal on the house.” He pauses. “What’s wrong?”

“They really are still scared of me, no matter how much they hide it.”

“Kosie, what I had to give him was an Arxur’s dose of adrenaline. It basically dropped him into the biggest fight-or-flight response of his life! What you saw was animalistic instinct that almost never shows up in real life. Please stop being so harsh on yourself. You helped me save someone’s life!”

Am I that vicious of my own actions?

I look back on the past days, of my actions and reactions to innocuous things. Eating, wrestling, going to a [condemned to hell] restaurant… And Charlie watching me through it all, seeing me struggle, wondering why his exchange partner is so tense.

I owe him an apology.

“Charlie, I’m sorry. I…For everything. How I’ve been acting, all of it. I’ve been frantic about not getting deported, and I treated you like you would do that to me. That… was wrong.”

“I forgive you.”

What? So fast?

He nods. “It’s been stressful for me too. You mind telling me what started your fear of getting sent back?”

Shame rushes through me. “Not here.”

“Okay, then. Let’s go home.”

And so, we boxed up our food and left.

<<PREV | NEXT>>

[p]: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1sx31g5/the_nature_of_terrans_the_nature_of_predators/

Hey, everyone! I hope you enjoyed the amuse-bouche of an inaugural chapter I handed you all, because here's a much more meaty follow-up. In this chapter, we have fridge raids, lots of assumptions, and human food! As always, thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe I get to play in.

[Previous] [p] | [Next] [n]

Chapter 2

 

Swiftpair Transcript Date: April 20^(th), 2241

 

CharlieBuck: You cannot understand how excited I am to see you face-to-face, Kosif.

 

Kosie2219: I assure you; the feeling is mutual. I’ve only seen glimpses of other species before we paired up for the exchange.  You always seem to be upset in the photos you’ve shared, though. Why are you baring your teeth all the time?

 

CharlieBuck: Uh oh, someone didn’t read her comprehensive pamphlet. That ‘snarl’ is how we humans show contentment and pleasure.

 

Kosie2219: Your species is weird.

 

CharlieBuck: Agreed.

 

CharlieBuck: Oh, I just remembered, I have a surprise ready for you when you land! I’ve been working hard on it, and I hope you like it.

 

Kosie2219: What did you do?

 

CharlieBuck: C’mon, don’t be like that! Besides, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

 

Kosie2219: Please don’t do anything stupid.

 

CharlieBuck: It’s not stupid. You’re gonna love it. I’ve gotta go sleep now. What time is it on your side?

 

Kosie2219: It’s about 3:30 PM SHT according to my holopad. Since you mentioned sleep, I’m guessing it’s late at night over on Earth?

 

CharlieBuck: It is exactly 10:47 PM here. Hence the need to sleep.

 

Kosie2219: Okay, don’t let me keep you up any longer. As I believe you humans say, good night.

 

CharlieBuck: Night, Kosie.

 

*<<*CharlieBuck has logged off>>

 

*<<*Kosie2219 has logged off>>

 

<<Chat session ended.>>

 

 

Memory Transcript Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 23^(rd), 2241

 

Why is he upset? Am I late? He can’t possibly blame me for that. It finally clicks and I mentally tailwhip myself.  Kosie, you dolt! This is the surprise he’s been planning for the past [three days]!

Charlie’s eyes land on me.

“Kosie, is that you?” All the other Arxur look directly at me, and I would be bright red of it weren’t for my scales. He can’t keep the snarl, no—smile, off his face as he approaches, sticking the sign under his arm. He stops about [5 feet] away from me.

“Hello, [female adult of equal status honorific] Kosif. Welcome to Earth!” He lisps on some of the letters, but every single Wrissian jaw drops nonetheless at his grasp of our native language. At this point, even the other human partners are taking quite a lot of interest in Charlie.

He switches back to his own language. “Surprise!”

I’m flabbergasted. “What? How?”

“Easy. There’s a linguistic database with all known speeches and dialects in the galaxy. I had to get special permission to access your language, but I managed to learn enough over the course of a week to pull this off. Do you like it? I can’t really read your face.”

To be honest, I really did like it. It was exactly the kind of thing that Charlie might go and do. Something crazy that he needed special permission to even try, just to surprise me. A lot of the stories that he’s told me over Swiftpair are of him doing something dumb for at least one of three reasons: he thought it would look cool, he did it to make someone else happy, or he just wasn’t thinking at all.

“I did like it. You actually sounded like an Arxur, albeit a child.”

The snar-SMILE that split his face was one of the biggest I’d ever seen on him. The other Arxur that had formed a loose crowd during Charlie’s performance had dissipated during our conversation, going over to their own partners.

“Here, lemme take your stuff. You ready to head to the house?” He holds out his hands for my bag, and it takes me a moment to realize what he wants. I slip the bag from my shoulder and pass it to him, and he carries it around to the rear of the vehicle, where a hatch was sitting popped open. “Go on and get in. I’ll drive. I lowered the passenger seat all the way down, but I don’t know what we’re going to do about your tail.”

He places my bag into the storage hatch and pulls the curved door closed, shutting it with a thud. I pull on the door handle of the passenger seat, and it hinges outward to reveal the interior, a cushioned seat with a workable amount of legroom. Slouching downward a little further than normal, I duck into the automobile, trying to lever myself into place. The car sinks slightly as I step inside, and I lean back into the seat. The cushion is soft and quite comfortable, but I still need to do something about my tail. It’s not flexible enough to go behind my back, so I try putting it under my leg. Alright, that works. I may have what humans call ‘pins and needles’ when I get out, but at least I am inside the vehicle. Closing the door takes a few attempts, but I manage to get it shut.

The driver’s door opens, and Charlie slips inside easily.

“Alrighty, let’s go! Kosie, seatbelt.” He pauses as I don’t move. “The belt over your right shoulder. You put it across your torso and over your waist. Push the metal bit into the little plastic box near your left hip.”

Three failed attempts and some wriggling later, I finally hear the small click as the metal slides home.

“Going home, take two!” Charlie says as he pulls a lever beside him. The vehicle starts forward, and so begins my first trip in a human car. He steers the vehicle down various roads and passes through a gate before the first major highway comes into view. He pulls onto it, speeding up until he matches the velocity of the other automobiles. The vibrations are almost soothing, and what’s most interesting is the seemingly unspoken set of rules that the other drivers adhere to. A light activates on the rear of the car before us, and it changes lanes soon after, crossing the white dashes painted on the road. Later, I notice another driver who does the same thing, but without the flashing light. Charlie noticeably tenses up when they change lanes in front of him.

I have got to learn what their transportation is like. Why is that little flashing light so important?

“Why is that little flashing light so important?” I ask as Charlie flicks a small lever beside the steering wheel. A small arrow pointing right begins to flash and click regularly. “Did you activate yours just now?”

“Well, yes. The white flashing light is a blinker, and they’re standard on all vehicles. You use it to signal a desire to cross the white dashed line.”

“Why did you tense up before when someone didn’t signal?”

Charlie steers gently to the right, clicking the lever back into place.

“Because driving on Earth is about being predictable, and that driver was not being predictable. For humans, you don’t even get to sit in the driver’s seat until you’re nearly an adult and have taken at least one test. Then we can get our license, and we must abide by the rules of the road. If you want, I’ll tell you more when we reach the house.”

The scenery outside the car had changed from the urban landscape near the spaceport to a more rural and residential feel. If it wasn’t for the fact that there were humans everywhere, I might think I was in a part of Wriss I had never seen before. Our two planets really were very similar.

A few turns later, Charlie pulls a left and we enter a gathering of homes. The sign we pass says ‘Cooper’s Meadow’.

“Who is Cooper?” I ask Charlie.

“Who?” he says, sounding confused for some reason.

“Cooper. The human who owns this meadow?”

“Oh, that’s just a name. The people who made this neighborhood just wanted a good name. Maybe one of them is named Cooper, but it matters exactly this much.” Charlie holds up his right hand, fingers curled into an O.

“How much is that?”

“What? Uh, it means zero. That’s what the number zero looks like. It means it doesn’t matter. Oh look, here’s the house!” He points out the windshield at one of several nearly identical houses.

Charlie stops the car, and I extricate myself from the vehicle. It was almost the same size as one of the shared Wrissian houses, where two would inhabit the same place to conserve credits. Those kinds of houses were almost exclusively used by mated pairs, due to many an Arxur’s unsociability.

“You like the place?” Charlie says as he walks up beside me with my bag. “The exchange program moved me in here since I lived in a 1-man apartment before. C’mon, let’s get you set up.”

The interior was only similar to a Wrissian home due to the essential rooms. It had a kitchen, a main living area, a dining table, all the universal things like that. The main difference was the electricity. Case in point, Charlie starts flicking light switches as soon as we walk in. I wince.

Why is he turning on all the lights? I certainly don’t need them. I think, before realizing that night vision is not something that all predator species have.

“Do you humans even have night vision?” I ask as I wipe my eyes, blinking away the spots in my vision.

“We do, it’s just not amazing and takes a while to fully come in. I think it takes about half an hour, but I’m not sure. How fast does yours go?”

How fast do my eyes adjust? “That… is an excellent question. I don’t know.”

“Meh, doesn’t matter. Let’s get you settled in. Your room is the big one in the back.” Charlie hands me my bag, and I follow where he was pointing. I duck through the doorway, the floor changing from wood paneling to carpet as I cross the threshold. I flinch as my foot touches the softish covering. I’d never felt anything like it before, since the homes on Wriss are mostly stone, or wood if you’re more credit-flush. A large bed sat in the center of one wall, opposite an upright wood dresser. A lamp stood atop a small table near the headboard, and deep-blue sheets the color of Wriss’ oceans covered the mattress.

He remembered my favorite color, how sweet of him.

I dumped my bag on the bed, and would have gone putting my things away, but a strange and heavenly smell distracts me. My stomach rumbles.

What is that delicious scent? Is that meat, and…what are those other smells?

I poke my head out of the bedroom and see Charlie standing in the kitchen, manipulating something on what must be a cooktop. My claws clack on the wooden floor as I approach, and Charlie turns.

“Guess you smelled dinner. Hungry?” he says, a smile, not a snarl, on his face.

Oh no. How could he tell? Am I drooling? Did he think I was in a hunting crouch? I can’t let him think that! I have to prove we’re not the same Arxur from [100 years] ago. We’ve reformed; we’re not the raiding parties of Betterment. I can’t go back to Wriss like this.

“No. I mean yes. Gah, I mean no.” Smooth move, [laxative medicine].

The stripes of hair above Charlie’s eyes furrow, drawing closer together.

“Well, if you are hungry, I made you some food.” He places a plate down on the counter next to him. It holds two brown disks, and my nostrils tell me that those are the source of that divine aroma. “Don’t worry, it’s meat from Terran cattle. They’re medium well, and I just gave them the basic seasonings. Nothing you should be allergic to. I got some toppings and condiments if you’re feeling brave.”

He takes his plate, holding only one disk, to the table and sat down. His meal had not just the meat, but also a split golden-brown lump which he held the meat with, a yellow square, along with two sauces. I took my plate to the table as well, not adding anything to it. I didn’t have to contort my tail to sit this time, since I could slot it through a hole in the seatback. A small blessing in this extremely stressful day.

“Doh!” I hear Charlie say as I settle in. “I forget to get you silverware. Do you want any?”

What is silverware? Back home I only had a small two-pronged spear to eat with, otherwise I just used my claws.

“Uh, no, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” I say as I pick up one of the disks. It was still warm, and a small dribble of grease dripped from it. I bring it up to my mouth and take a small bite.

HOLY [deity of the hunter’s feast]! WHAT IS THIS?!

I had simply never had anything so divinely delicious in my entire life. Before I know it, my plate was empty and Charlie was making barking cough noises. I come to my senses right as I’m licking my last claw clean.

“Dang,” Charlie splutters between barks, “I know you guys eat your stuff raw, but I didn’t know our food tasted this good to you!”

Oh no. Oh, this is bad. Is he scared of me? He doesn’t sound afraid. What is that noise he’s making?

Charlie’s teeth were bared in a smile, and his mouth was wide open, his whole body quaking with the force of the noise he was making.

“You should have seen the look on your face!” he wheezes as the noises subside. “Man, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.” He wipes his eyes.

That’s what that was? Laughing? Isn’t that how humans appreciate humor? Was he saying… I looked funny?

“What did you find so amusing?” I ask. Please don’t tell me you were waiting for me to slip. I can’t go back to Wriss as the one who ruined the diplomacy between us and Earth.

“Just watching you react. You looked so nervous taking that first bite,” he says, starting to devolve back into laughter, “then your eyes were the size of dinner plates, and before I could blink,” More laughter, and he had to stop and take a breath before continuing. “Your plate was empty, and you were sticking your fingers in your mouth. Should I ask whether you’re still hungry?” He’s still smiling as he asks me, nodding towards my empty plate.

I need to show more restraint, no matter how ambrosia-like the cuisine. This is going to be a long program. It was nice knowing you, brown meat disks.

“Oh, I’m fine. I ate a bit on the shuttle over, so I’ll be okay until [morning meal].”

This was a lie.

“You sure you’ll be good until breakfast? I’ve got another burger ready to cook if you want.”

My will nearly broke there.

I could have another one of those delicious… ‘burgers’ are what he called them? Kosif, no. Show restraint. The Arxur are no longer barbarians who go wild at the smell of meat.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” I say even as my stomach melts inside me. A whole night was a long time to still be slightly hungry, especially when you just had the most scrumptious meal in your life.

“Okay, then. I’ll clean up tonight; you head to bed. I’m pretty sure space jetlag is a thing. See you in the morning.”

Charlie takes my plate as I rise from the table, and I watch as he places the dirty dishes in a metal tub embedded in the counter.

Is that the human version of a washing tub? Ours are normally outside, though we do place them on higher surfaces like they do.

Charlie places a wad of raw meat on another plate, presumably what would have been my third burger, into a large metal box with a door spanning the front of it. He turns and looks at me, and I act like I wasn’t watching him the entire time and was in fact going to bed, thank you very much.

Much later, after Charlie has switched off all the lights, I lay in bed thinking off nothing but the heavenly flavor of those burgers. I pick up my holopad and the bright light spears my eyes as I click it on. Frantically stabbing at the pad, I involuntarily hiss in pain from the sudden illumination. I eventually find the brightness controls, but not before any semblance of sleepiness is wiped from my brain.

Dear [deity of the sun], why do these cursed things have to be so bright?

2:03 AM SHT. A full [4 hours] before Charlie could be expected to wake up most days. He’d told me so himself in one of our chat sessions, and for some reason it had stuck in my brain. My stomach clenched, sending thoughts of burgers through my brain again.

Might as well go and make yourself some food.

Where on Wriss had that thought come from?

You know you want it, but you denied yourself because ‘what would Charlie think?’

He would think that I can’t control myself, and neither can any other Wrissian.

It’s worth it for that burger, isn’t it?

Maybe… wait, no! I can’t just be sneaking around his house while he’s asleep!

You’re just making yourself a little snack, aren’t you? How would he be mad?

Hmmm… Okay, but just this once.

Attagirl.

I push myself out of bed, automatically dropping into a stealth crouch as I creep into the kitchen.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Charles “Charlie” Carlyle, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 24^(th), 2241

 

I wake to a soft clacking and scraping noise in the middle of the night. My mind instantly assumes the worst: someone’s in my house. Or, by the sound of it, something. I slide out of bed, my bare feet barely audible on the floor, at least to my ears. I almost creep out of my bedroom before realizing I’m clad solely in my underpants.

One does not simply confront a home invader in one’s boxers.

Now armed with a pair of red basketball shorts, I slowly open my bedroom door, pausing as I listen for more disturbances. A metal clank, followed by an intake of breath.

What is going on?

My house is nearly pitch-black, my night vision unable to fully penetrate the shadows. I peer around the corner just as a light comes on, not one of the overheads, but instead a white light like a flashlight. I duck back around the wall. Rummaging noises, and something shuts just as soon as the light extinguishes.

Alone, but what are they doing in my kitchen? Are they… raiding my fridge?

I very slowly stand, then reach my hand around the corner, feeling for the light switch. My finger curls gently around the lever, and I lower myself and get ready to rush the intruder. I can’t see many details, but one thing stands out to me.

Man, this guy is tall as all get-out.

I take a deep breath and flick the switch upwards.

 

 

Memory Transcription Subject: Kosif, Arxur-Terran Exchange Participant

Date: (Standardized Human Time) April 24^(th), 2214

 

I flinch as the lights flick on, banging my snout on the cabinet and leaning over as I clutch at my face. That motion slams my elbow on the raised stone surface, and I hiss in pain and step backwards, only to trip over my own tail and fall flat on the wooden floor. I writhe in pain for a moment, simultaneously trying to hold my elbow, my nose, and my eyes. I’m snapped out of my pain by Charlie’s voice. He’s standing over me, his top half completely bare, his short brown head-fuzz sticking up strangely, and wearing a set of red legwear.

“Kosif, what are you doing in the kitchen in the middle of the night?”

No. No no no no NO! Brain! Why did you lie to me? You said he wouldn’t notice!

I said he wouldn’t care. There’s a difference.

Aaaggghhhh!!!

“Um, I, uh… I was hungry.” I say in a small voice.

“Well, I guess that’s my fault.” His fault for bringing me in? For trusting me? “My mama had two rules about the kitchen that she taught me, and I guess I’m teaching you.” Here it comes. I broke both his rules and now the hammer’s dropping. Farewell, Earth… “First, eat if you’re hungry. Second, stop if you’re full.”

“Wait, what?” I say, confused.

“That’s all. I don’t care about you eating as much as you need. Your reaction to my food is about one of the biggest compliments you can give to a chef. You can go and enjoy meat in public too, as long as you’re not snarfing a live squirrel in public or anything.”

That’s all? Just don’t eat live animals? Eat when you need to and stop when you don’t? What in the name of [deity of instinct] was I so worried about?

I blink. “That’s… all?”

He nods, then his mouth gapes open and he breathes deeply. “Alright, if that’s all, you carry on. But do be careful, since I don’t want you to burn the house down while I’m asleep. How does the raw meat compare to the cooked version?” He points at the now half-eaten lump of meat that I had snuck from the fridge.

“Oh, this? It doesn’t even come close. You have to show me how to make it like you do.”

“Tomorrow I will. While we’re up, why were you being so jumpy all day? Is it something I did?”

Oh boy. He’s not gonna like this part.

“Well, it’s because I was, uh, scared you were going to hate me for eating meat.”

A look of confusion dominates his face. “What are you talking about? Do I look like a Feddie?”

No.

“No.”

“Then why in the world do you think I hate you?”

“I, uh, I was told not to seem predatory by my superiors or I would get taken back to Wriss and not get to contact you again.”

“Well, stop worrying. You’re not getting sent back to Wriss, not because of anything I say. Now that’s over, I’m going back to bed. Any more basic affirmations before I leave?”

“I-I don’t think so.”

“’Kay. Night, Kosie.”

“Goodnight.”

I finish the meat, though without the relish I would have should it be cooked, then head back to my own room.

I’m not getting sent back. Oh, thank [deity of miracles].

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