u/TheDoomedMind

Hi! I’m a high schooler who’s really into chemistry and gemology. Right now I’m working on an independent study project where I’m trying to combine my love for chemistry, and my love for jewelry making.

I’ve been doing research on crystals I can grow in my schools lab (trying to grow crystals now after my idea for flame-fusion corundum was shot down for safety concerns) but most of the interesting ones I’ve found seem to be pretty unstable, or otherwise things you wouldn’t want to handle.

I was really excited to see that there’s a whole subreddit for this, so I was curious if anyone had advice? I’m open to coating my crystals before use, but I’m wondering if there’s anything more professional than nail polish for that. Thanks everyone!

Hi! I’m with my family on a week-long trip to Cooperstown NY. I have family members who love just spending the week doing nothing and hanging out in the lake, but that is 100% not me, so I often find myself cooped up and bored/lonely on what are supposed to be vacations. I’m looking for things in or around Cooperstown (within like 45 minutes) that might be interesting to a pretty average 17 year old? I am admittedly pretty nerdy, so I’d be into arcades, interesting shops, or cool museums. If you have a business in the area, feel free to advertise lol. I appreciate any advice!

Hi! I don’t know if this is the best place to ask this, but I’ve had good success in this subreddit before. Unfortunately my Dungeons and Dragons group has pretty much dissolved as most (literally all but me) have gone away to collage this August. I’m really looking for a new group to play with, or even interested members which whom we could form a new group. I’m looking for people maybe roughly around my age? (17). I’m more than happy to dm, and actually have a pretty giant homebrew campaign I’ve been working on, so I guess the qualifiers would be: 1. In the area of Rochester/rochester suburbs, 2. 16-22ish (late highschool/collage aged) 3. Inclusive (It’s dnd, like most of us are some flavor of queer)

I am about to turn 17 and just finished my junior year in high school. I’d like to think I’m overall a good kid, but I’ve been having issues with my family (mainly my mother) increasingly lately. For some background, my family is me, my father, my mother (both in 50s), and my little sister who is nine.

Because it kind of becomes relevant to understanding my family dynamic, is it important to know that my sister is adopted, and is a visibly different race to the rest of my family (As in, it’s not out of the question that we’re biological siblings, and maybe I just got all the white features, but it does raise some eyebrows when we are introduced as siblings). This, along with a whole slew of things that happened while her birth mother was pregnant, has made her maybe a little bit coddled. I really don’t know what is nature versus nurture here, but we are polar opposites in terms of temperament. This is kind of the stereotypical “the younger sibling gets away with so much that I never would have” but taken to an extreme. She is quick to anger and lashes out, throwing full on tantrums regularly if she doesn’t get her way. I truly don’t think she can control most of it, and she’s on a medication now that seems to help when she takes it. Because it’s “not her fault” she acts this way, there are never consequences for her at all, regardless of how she harms me. One example, admittedly from around two or three years ago now, was when she literally jabbed me in the eye with her finger and gave me a corneal abrasion. It didn’t take long to heal, but was a pain in the ass, and she didn’t even get in trouble because “she didn’t mean to hurt you, she didn’t know poking that hard would hurt your eye” which made me very mad (obviously, because I still bring up this story, lol) other examples include my 16th birthday, where she received presents on the way to my party so she wouldn’t freak out because of the attention being on me. Nonetheless, she got upset when I opened a gift that she wanted as well, and she started whining. Our conversation went along the lines of “that’s not fair! I wanted one of those!” And me responding with “you’re only saying that because I got it” while I admit I was rather snippy with it, my mom responded by threatening to take back all of my birthday presents if I didn’t fix my attitude. My father ended up having to take my sister home halfway through my birthday dinner because she was only whining and crying (we think she might have actually gotten stung by a bee so this isn’t the most unfair thing).

My anger here is really with my mom, not my sister. She is always happy to do whatever to keep my sister happy, as long as it’s at anyone’s expense but her own. As in, my sister can literally punch me with no repercussions, but the only time I’ve ever seen her get in trouble was when she accidentally hit my mother. My dynamic with my mother is really weird, as in sometimes it’s great, and I relish those moments, but any little thing can set her off. An aspect of this is a medical condition she suffers from that mainly causes extreme fatigue and discomfort some times, which I understand makes her irritable. This seems to have gotten worse in the past few years, but it has reached the point where I’ve realized I’m genuinely scared of her. If I’m napping and I hear her approach, I jolt awake. I can hear her footsteps or even the garage door opening when she comes home and I’m instantly anxious and feel the need to hide. She is not, and has never been physically abusive, and I have a hard time calling her abusive at all because it seems so ridiculous. For context, she is an emergency medicine pediatrician, and also works for the local child abuse center. She is well known in our area, and maybe halfway to a local celebrity. She literally travels to conferences to give talks on parenting, so it seems ridiculous to think that she could be doing something wrong in her parenting, but after a few years of therapy, I’ve come to the realization that a child should not be scared to be around their parent.

I feel as if she doesn’t take me seriously (goes for my father too to a degree). She somehow believes she knows me and my feelings better than I know them myself. Some examples of this: she still believes I’m cis and straight. I have not identified as cis or as straight since I was 10 years old (and have been entirely clear about this the whole time). I have brought home two separate partners with whom I had many month long relationships with, but she still considered my current relationship to be “my first real relationship” as it’s the first straight one I’ve been in. If I ever dress too un-like my assigned gender or wear anything gender affirming, I’m met with comments and remarks on how I look weird and should just dress normally because “everyone has that stage”. It would be one thing if she were homophobic or transphobic, but she isn’t. She is literally a public advocate for lgbtq+ rights and health care. Literally the same day that she gave me shit for wearing loose clothes and a binder, she went on the news to talk about advice for families to accept their trans children.

Another example is my mental health history. I have no way of knowing if it was caused by my situation with my family, the pandemic, or if it was going to happen to me anyway, but I suffered from severe depression started around age nine. Looking back on it, it’s insane that nobody knew something was wrong. It is NOT normal for a 10 year old to pray for some excuse to die. I began therapy in middle school after my mental health continued to decline during the pandemic, but didn’t get diagnosed and medicated for depression until last year after a few very close calls with suicide attempts. Despite this, my mom is of the belief that I’m fine, just a little anxious, and will refer to my medications as “for my anxiety” (which they definitely help with, but is definitely not why I have them).

Her demeanor towards me seems to be some weird mix of jealousy and judgement, and I regularly question whether or not she actually enjoys having children. Again, all of this drama is not a constant thing. It will start and stop, and some days she’s actually very nice, while others she seems to just be angry at the world, and will take it out on anyone around her. She is like my sister in that way, and they often argue and fight, occasionally degrading into a screaming match. I’m not like that at all, and I think I tend to internalize my anger more instead of turning it outward. I have never once in my life raised my voice at her, and can’t even imagine the possibility of standing up to anything she says while she’s angry.

My main question here is, would I be in the wrong to go low contact when I move out for collage? It feels wrong as my parents will be paying for my schooling and I do believe they want the best for me, but weeks I’ve spent abroad alone on school trips have been some of the most peaceful in my life, without the constant anxiety of setting off my mother. So, WIBTAH? I’ll answer questions if any come up, thanks everyone for reading my rambling.