u/TheJoestJoeEver

Hello all,

My son is 3. My wife and community speak English and my native language is Arabic. I speak to him only in Arabic (only in emergencies I might speak in English) and speak to his mom in English.

He speaks English well for his age. He understands most things I say in Arabic.

However, when it comes to him trying to say anything, he mostly refuses. Only occasionally he says a few words in Arabic only on prompting. He even gets angry when my wife says anything in Arabic.

His exposure to Arabic is only from me. He refyses to watch any media in Arabic.

Does anyone has a similar experience?

Any advice?

Our son is currently 2 years and 7 months old. We both feel he's very difficult to deal with. Our day goes as follows.

In the morning, he wouldn't want to come out bed, change his nappy or his clothes. Every single day. During breakfast, anything you do is wrong. If he wants water and you put it in a cup: wrong. He wants it in his bottle. If you change it into a bottle, too late: he's already upset for the next 10 minutes. If things are not done as qu8ckly as he wants, it's another upset episode. And so on throughout the rest of the day. You might be thinking "That's jist normal toddler behaviour." Agreed. However, the issue is not the refusal.The issue is the type of expression.

In any of those examples mentioned, the main expression is ABSOLUTE RAGE. Rage of someone saw their parents being killed. This is not a joke or an exaggeration. In my life, I have not seen such rage except from very few select people. If he feels things are not going his way, it's instantly 11/10 rage. Screaming till hid voice breaks, slamming things with his might, slapping you in the face and scratching you if he could. It could be for something as small as you bringing him the wrong type of snacks or giving him the "other" shovel in the sand pit. The issue also is persistence. He can keep screaming for what he wants until whenever. Doesn't let go. If he gets tired, he'll take a break then resumes. Example: he didn't want to go into the car seat to go to the beach. He requested to be carried by his mother (not possible). Since we unfortunately had to force him into the car seat til we got to the beach, during those 15min, he's been screaming and straining in rage upon rage upon rage to be carried. Non-stop. 15min top of his lungs.

You might say it's a toddler phase. However, he was actually BORN like this. Since day 1 and he's in rage. People made fun if me when I used to say that every time he cries, it's always interlaced with anger. But now it's obvious. He would cry if he was put down or if anything didn't go his way. He was an extremely difficult newborn to the point that he wouldn't sleep AT ALL unless rocked constantly. Throughout the night.

He's hit his milestones on time, no red flags. As far we're told, he doesn't need autism assessment. However, we're worn out. The anger is immensely taxing. We're not angry people. We've never hit him, and we've rarely shouted at him. In nursery, he's already hit a kid in the face once. We don't know where did he learn to hit like that.

Apart from when he's angry, he's absolutely fine! Sociable, fun and excited! Active and pleasant! He's either enraged seeing only the deepest red(and very difficult to de-escalate) or fine!

We've been reading online that high maternal cortisol in pregnancy and during breastfeeding can impact a child's temperament permanently by enlarging the Amygdala. My wife was in a way stressed about her health during pregnancy, and quite stressed after his birth because of him mostly and lack of sleep.

We have decided we're both tired and we need some help. I'm posting here for any insight or similar experience. Could anyone help?