u/Then-Comfortable7023

My wife and I are both 34. She has remained pretty certain that she didn't want kids since we got married at 23 but has always left a foot in the door. I have always thought to myself "Maybe in the future, but certainly not now - revisit in 3 years" and we've done that time after time. Growing up kids were never on my mind. I have almost no interest in relatives babies or kids. We just talked yesterday and I still have the same position as does she. She told me she will always leave a foot in the door for a kid since she knows I lean closer to the side of having one, but she said she's 95% sure she doesn't want kids. I've always been like 70% sure I didn't.

It's important to note that we are both elementary teachers, 4th and 5th grade. So we get our fill of kids and then some. She also has Hashimoto's disease, endometriosis, has had an ovarian cyst, and was abused by her mother and step mother. She was almost murder-suicided by her bio mom and was a chore slave to her step mom and younger sisters who she basically raised. Now she is healthy (mild hashimoto's and endo) and has done a ton of therapy and has more education and a higher salary than me. I'm so proud of the woman she is.

Our marriage has not been easy either. We've always been very poor until recently when we became teachers. Now the money is flowing in and we have great health insurance and very bright futures. Everything has opened up and our life has literally in the past few days become a new playground.

My position is that I recognize that she as a girl didn't get to be a child, and now she deserves her freedom. I've settled on the fact that there's two children who need me here. My future child who doesn't exist yet, and the child my wife never got to be - who doesn't exist anymore. My wife wants to finally rest and be free, not take on yet another huge responsibility that will take from her. She's always had people taking and taking. I think my role is to give her the happiness as a child she never got. Not ask her to now give happiness she never got to a new baby and pretend like that isn't painful for her.

My goal is marriage was always to make my wife glow - not have kids. Though I do see a future with a kids in it where we she is glowing. She see's that future as much less likely than me. I also see one obviously without kids where she is extremely happy

I guess I know the answer is almost certainly no to kids and as I type this, I do NOT want to go home to a kid today. But I can't escape an overwhelming feeling of grief. Does anyone relate to this? It has me very confused. One this I know is I'll never hold it against my wife or resent her for not wanting kids. She's always been clear she was almost certainly against it, I'm just surprised by this new feeling I have. She has been priority one and always will be.

We plan to hike Alta peak as a backpacking trip and stay at Alta meadow. The next morning we will hike the peak early and return home. Is it advisable to stash our gear somewhere near the fork as to avoid carrying it to the peak?

I saw people doing this on Whitney at trail crest but opted out because there wasn’t much space to actually hide anything and I didn’t want my gear stolen.

Loved GW 1 and the tone, loved a lot of GW2 but what killed it was how everyone had a quip to say, like I was watching a marvel film. Whatever the tone GW3 is, please lay off the smart lines from every character.