u/Then_Establishment_9

So.. I just got an offer..

I’ve been working SO hard on this application for months and I had my interview yesterday, and within 24h received an offer and of course I was so over the moon! I cried on the phone lol

It’s a very competitive fully funded and paid position and I should be proud but now.. I honestly just feel so shitty about myself. I think I’ve got some pretty major imposter syndrome and I actually feel kind of disgusting? I don’t know how to explain it. I’m so drained and low and I wish I could celebrate but yeah..

I’ll accept the offer of course but I just don’t rlly know what to do with myself :/

and here i sit on a boat,
rocking

the sky isn’t stormy or grey,
but neither is it blue.
above me hangs white nothingness that blocks out the sun
and i sit,
rocking

rocking like the waves, yes
but i rock, too, like the wind rocks the swing in my garden

once i buried the rock i found inside the middle of a plum
but the tree didn’t grow.
bark lined the floor, soft underfoot, but it didn’t grow.

i wonder, as i sit here now, rocking, how much i will grow.
i wonder whether i will be taller than the waves?
i wonder whether the salt on my face will be replaced with a smile?
i think i’d like that.

not yet though,

for now, i will stay, rocking.