u/TheseHeron3820

For the past eight years I've been a caregiver for my dad, together with my mom, after he had a stroke. However, things have taken a turn for the worst about three years ago, and now he isn't able to get out of bed and on his wheelchair without my assistance.

As you can imagine, it isn't easy, and while I outwardly try to keep a façade of having it all together, in reality my mental health has taken a dive and I sometimes have bouts of deep depression and anguish.

With these bouts come intrusive thoughts that I can only describe as "dogshit ideas". Now, not to brag or anything, but in my days I have had my fair share of dogshit ideas, but the one that I'm having right now takes the cake, and if there ever was a dogshit ideas championship, I'd win first place, hands down.

Basically, I've been having the idea that I want to get back into dating, and my mind has been racing between the idea of downloading dating apps and the idea to give my number to the pharmacist I usually go to.

They're both terrible ideas because with my current living arrangement I could never properly be there for a partner, because dating apps are terrible for your mental health, and because that infatuation with that woman isn't based on anything other than she being pleasing to small talk to, despite me knowing full well she does this simply because she's polite and she's not into me.

So, I guess in conclusion my question is: is there any actionable thing I can do to get my mind off of these intrusive thoughts?

Thanks!

Hi people of reddit. I own a car that's decidedly *not* a shitbox and I love it to bits. Problem is, it's quite large and where I live parking is a bit of an issue. Add to that the fact that I've always liked the third gen Ibiza, and I'm tempted to buy one as a car that I wouldn't have to worry about scratching.

Please convince me not to?

I know this question might feel out of place in a subreddit like this, but I really need an answer and wouldn't know where else to ask.

How do you get your mind off of dating? For the past few days, the feeling of wanting companionship has reared its head and it's currently making me *miserable*.

For context, I'm in my mid thirties and I've a caregiver for a relative who suffered a stroke and requires full time assistance for the past eight years. As you imagine, this leaves no time for personal relationships and has slowly eroded what little social interactions I had scrounged together.

Compounding this, I believe I'm starting to suffer from caregiver burnout, a psychological condition characterized by anxiety, depression, high levels of stress, and irritability.

The last time I went on a date was three years ago, and I decided to cut it off precisely because of the situation I am in. I mentioned in passing that, being a caregiver, I couldn't possibly take them on a romantic weekend escapade. They replied something along the lines of "heh, that's okay", but something about their answer didn't sit right with me, and I figured that if we kept dating, I would be dragging them in a downwards spiral, rather than them helping me lift me up. I asked if we could stay friends, but they take it quite badly and we stopped talking. I don't blame them: I get that rejection sucks and not everyone is okay with staying friends.

In the past few days, I've thought more than once about re-downloading Tinder, despite the fact that 1. I've never had much success with people there, and 2. dating apps have never been good for my mood. The only thing that stopped me is that I don't have a Facebook account anymore, meaning I'd have to create a new Tinder account from scratch.

With this preamble, hopefully you'd understand *why* I want to stop thinking about dating. Help?