u/Thin_Constant1093

So tired of everything.

I feel like I have nothing left to give..

I don't have love in me for the person I have to care for.

Sometimes it feels like I'm a really bad person.

I've been fantasizing about wanting to run away, leave everything and everyone.

Tomorrow I have to send my mom to dialysis again..

I feel heavy every time.

Tomorrow I also have a zoom session I wanna join, about ADHD topic.

It feels like I can't focus on myself.

I dislike the nurse at mom's clinic. I hate the questions, i hate the commentaries..

I feel like I have nothing left to give..

I don't have love in me for the person I have to care for.

Sometimes it feels like I'm a really bad person.

I've been fantasizing about wanting to run away, leave everything and everyone.

Tomorrow I have to send my mom to dialysis again..

I feel heavy every time.

Tomorrow I also have a zoom session I wanna join, about ADHD topic. It feels like I can't focus on myself.

I dislike the nurse at mom's clinic. I hate the questions, i hate the commentaries..

I made a post on another subreddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/s/CAQSg7B39s

Idk how to deal with my current feelings.

I feel stuck.

I have so many problems that i wish i dont have to deal with. It makes me feel hopeless.

As i said in the title ☹️

I've been feeling more depressed, and thinking of death. I watched some videos talking about it.. and one of the video says to just reach out to anyone.. but i dont really have reliable support system..

So instead days ago just to cope with the feelings I update my whatsapp status and upload a photo of rope. Which got me msg from old acquaintance.. telling me not to keep it in yet at same time telling me not to upload that kind pic again.. and think about God.. i didnt call them because i have feeling i'd get religious lecture. I dont like it.

I feel hopeless with people, life and myself..

Sucks so much.

I'm not looking forward to today's caregiving duty.. i have to send mom to dialysis center.. the nurse there kept calling me lazy.

These days ive been feeling apathetic about death.. whether its fantasy of my own or other people's..

I see that my home is decaying..

My room is cluttered..

The living room has shit and smells so bad.

The kitchen has maggots.. to the point theyre climbing up the handsoap and dish soap bottles...

My dad has been having bad temper... Well.. that's who he has always been.. but nowaday it feels constant... Insults...yelling..

My brothers...another story...

Therapy dont work..

What's the point of therapy if you dont wanna live life..

I hate cbt..

I hate the way therapists and doctors treated/talked to me.

Im so let down by life.

Dealing with cptsd sucks..

I feel like i wanna die..

Just be gone..

I've been feeling more depressed, and thinking of death. I watched some videos talking about it.. and one of the video says to just reach out to anyone.. but i dont really have reliable support system..

So instead days ago just to cope with the feelings I update my whatsapp status and upload a photo of rope. Which got me msg from old acquaintance.. telling me not to keep it in yet at same time telling me not to upload that kind pic again.. and think about God.. i didnt call them because i have feeling i'd get religious lecture. I dont like it.

I feel hopeless with people, life and myself..

Sucks so much.

I'm not looking forward to today's caregiving duty.. i have to send mom to dialysis center.. the nurse there kept calling me lazy.

These days ive been feeling apathetic about death.. whether its fantasy of my own or other people's..

I see that my home is decaying..

My room is cluttered..

The living room has shit and smells so bad.

The kitchen has maggots.. to the point theyre climbing up the handsoap and dish soap bottles...

My dad has been having bad temper... Well.. that's who he has always been.. but nowaday it feels constant... Insults...yelling..

My brothers...another story...

Therapy dont work..

What's the point of therapy if you dont wanna live life..

I hate cbt..

I hate the way therapists and doctors treated/talked to me.

Im so let down by life.

Dealing with cptsd sucks..

I feel like i wanna die..

Just be gone..

Life sucks, i wish to be gone

I've been feeling more depressed, and thinking of death. I watched some videos talking about it.. and one of the video says to just reach out to anyone.. but i dont really have reliable support system..

So instead days ago just to cope with the feelings I update my whatsapp status and upload a photo of rope. Which got me msg from old acquaintance.. telling me not to keep it in yet at same time telling me not to upload that kind pic again.. and think about God.. i didnt call them because i have feeling i'd get religious lecture. I dont like it.

I feel hopeless with people, life and myself..

Sucks so much.

I'm not looking forward to today's caregiving duty.. i have to send mom to dialysis center.. the nurse there kept calling me lazy.

These days ive been feeling apathetic about death.. whether its fantasy of my own or other people's..

I see that my home is decaying..

My room is cluttered..

The living room has shit and smells so bad.

The kitchen has maggots.. to the point theyre climbing up the handsoap and dish soap bottles...

My dad has been having bad temper... Well.. that's who he has always been.. but nowaday it feels constant... Insults...yelling..

My brothers...another story...

Therapy dont work..

What's the point of therapy if you dont wanna live life..

I hate cbt..

I hate the way therapists and doctors treated/talked to me. I feel so bitter.

Im so let down by life.

Dealing with cptsd sucks..

I feel like i wanna die..

Just be gone..