u/Throw_Away_Profil

Hello! I (29F) an having some difficulty navigating my relationship with my (30M) boyfriend. He has Asperger’s and I have trouble reading him a lot of the time. He’s affectionate physically (head scratches, foot massages, cuddles etc) when we’re alone, but verbally it can be hard for me to feel like he’s 100% there? Just looking for general advice on how to make sure your partner is happy without having to ask all the time 😅. I’m a huge people pleaser, words of affirmation type of lady and as you could imagine, he doesn’t mesh into that given he isn’t one for words, and I don’t want to smother him or make him feel like he’s doing something wrong by asking him all the time. Unless of course, that’s just what I need to keep doing.

Eg: we don’t live together and when we do spend time together out of the apartment, or play games together online, I have the urge to constantly ask if he’s enjoying himself, happy, enjoying time with me etc… his tone ranges from very “matter of fact” or disinterested but otherwise doesn’t indicate much verbally.

How I think could very well be the issue, and I am open to any and all constructive suggestions on how to approach this (maybe non-existent) “problem”.

TLDR: my partner (30M) has Asperger’s and I want to better navigate communication so I don’t feel like I’m asking too many questions and also to avoid taking his tone/ lack of words as a negative reflection of his feelings towards me.