u/TightPapaya

Im talking bout a kiss and a hug or cuddles not even anything intimate…just some closeness and warmth…

I’d like to be a nest if you were a little bird.
I’d like to be a scarf if you were a neck and were cold.
If you were music, I’d be an ear.
If you were water, I’d be a glass.
If you were light, I’d be an eye.
If you were a foot, I’d be a sock.
If you were the sea, I’d be a beach.
And if you were still the sea, I’d be a fish, and I’d swim in you.
And if you were the sea, I’d be salt.
And if I were salt, you’d be lettuce, an avocado or at least a fried egg.
And if you were a fried egg, I’d be a piece of bread.
And if I were a piece of bread, you’d be butter or jam.
If you were jam, I’d be the peach in the jam.
If I were a peach, you’d be a tree.
And if you were a tree, I’d be your sap…
And I’d course through your arms like blood.
And if I were blood, I’d live in your heart.
by Claudio Bertoni 💕

I honestly just wanted to find out from others whove done the past life regression. I basically did it to break soul ties and break repeated patterns around choosing the same people in relationships. Also linked to childhood trauma. I was a young lady in my past life and this man who had this control/hold over me, wouldn’t let me go. He hurt me in many ways but when trying to detach and remove myself I just bawled my eyes out throughout the experience.
Has anyone experienced similar? Like just crying? I didnt stop crying throughout the experience and it was very emotional for me.
Do i feel enlightenment - i really dont know 😩

I just wanna play tennis, go to art galleries and exhibitions, picnics,dates, reading on the sofa together, and/or do doing nothing with them but enjoying their company.to being couch potatoes and be whisked away on all sorts of adventures and holidays,be showered with love.and i so too shall reciprocate.and literally be their - be-all and end-all….feels like im asking for too much 😪

I posted some days ago re my partner. Lolz.
Turns out shes been cheating on me with her new friend she met on tinder. i came home from my father’s burial and found all the evidence in our bedroom. The room confessed to everything- she didnt even hide it. They slept in our bed while i was away.
I also dont have the financial means to leave immediately so have to hang around for a few more days. Found her lovers hair in the sheets,they were using my vibrator. 🤢 I think she even gave her my pjs - i found them in the wash. When i asked like what was going on - i was made again to look like im crazy.
Im now on the sofa and my partner has called her lover a few times. I can hear their entire convo basically. Shes taken her gross behaviour to another level. I really just wanted to let you know that i really was on the money and most of you felt i was controlling etc.

Meanwhile shes been screwing someone else in our bed. And when the lover asked bout when im moving out - my partner was like - i dunno when shes going.
Yuh - it stings!
Dont think ive ever been this hurt before.
Like this disrespect is on another level. You know what they say - when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.
How am i supposed to cope over the next few days? Feels like shes going to extremes to prove what an awful human being she is.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/Dye91k6mMI

TL;DR My partner has basically been cheating on me with her new lover in our bed. Still tried to spin the relationship downfall to my fault 🫪
I now have to endure this for a few more days till i can move out.

This is a bit long-winded.

My partner (f) and I (f) seem to be stuck in a cycle, and lately I’m starting to feel that a lot of it stems from her behaviour and the way she handles certain friendships. She has no emotional boundaries and becomes obsessed with new people/friends.

She became super close with this one friend we both knew, I raised concerns about this friendship where there was constant calling and texting, practically 24/7. From her perspective, there was nothing inappropriate about it, but what bothered me wasn’t just the amount of contact - it was the lack of honestly and transparency around it.

Whenever I tried to discuss how it made me feel, the conversation would quickly turn into me being told that my concerns were really about my past experiences and insecurities because an ex cheated on me. Instead of addressing my concerns, it felt like they were being dismissed or explained away.

During that period, she would spend hours and hours online with this friend and,she sidelined me for months. I raised it repeatedly, but accountability never really happened. The explanation was always that she was grieving the loss of her father and needed emotional support, which she found in this friend. While I understand grief, it often felt like that became the reason why the impact on our relationship couldn’t be discussed. And that was her excuse for her behaviour basically - she was grieving!

A few weeks ago, she told me she wanted to make new friends. I had no issue with that at all. In fact, I encouraged it. I simply told her that I didn’t want us to repeat the same cycle and that some of my emotions might be triggered because of what had happened previously. I was clear that my issue had never been her having friends; it was the dishonesty and lack of transparency surrounding the previous friendship.

I sent her a message saying exactly that - that I hoped we could approach things differently this time with honesty and openness. Instead we had a massive argument around it, she became upset and barely spoke to me for days. Once again, I felt like I was being made out to be the bad guy simply for expressing how I felt. Crazy i tell you.

Week before saw her online really late, think before midnight and she said she was online with her new friend. And i mentioned that it was rather late and that wasn’t ideal.
She then removed her WhatsApp online status after i asked her bout being online very late with her new friend. I asked why she had hidden her WhatsApp online status. It was a simple question, but it seemed to hit a nerve and she reacted very defensively. I genuinely just wanted to understand the reason. She said doesnt want to be monitored but she had her WhatsApp online status for as long as we’ve been together. So she basically cut the call short and said that she didnt want to discuss it further. So i struck a nerve but clearly she wont take accountability.

Today - she told me that this new friend was staying over because it wasn’t safe to Uber home alone. And she emphasised how transparent shes been etc. My concern isn’t necessarily about the friend themselves. My concern is that this is our sacred space, and if I’m honest, trust has already been damaged because of previous situations. She also only today told me how she and her new friend have been seeing alot of each other aswell over the past few weeks. Again emphasising her “transparency”. (She did not mention them spending more time together)
Ive been away because my father passed away and i guess this has given her the opportunity to do as she pleases 🤷🏼‍♀️

Last year, she told me the truth about another “friend” who had stayed over. I discovered that this person wasn’t simply a friend at all - they had actually been in a relationship. Even her son later mentioned that this person had slept in the same bed as her. So this feels like de javu.

At this point, I’m starting to feel like the situation is becoming increasingly messy. Given the history of dishonesty and the defensiveness whenever reasonable questions are asked, I can’t help but wonder whether my trust is being misplaced. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if boundaries will be crossed with this new friend.

What makes it even more frustrating is that she’s now starting to scrutinise my friendships from like 2/3yrs ago despite the fact that I’ve never hidden anything, behaved dishonestly, or given her reasons to question my intentions.

Ultimately, I don’t think my issue is that she has friends. My issue is that trust is built through honesty, transparency, and consistency. When those things are missing, and concerns are repeatedly dismissed rather than addressed, it becomes very difficult to feel secure in the relationship.

So shes gone out with her new friend who im almost certain will sleep over with her in our bed and woudnt surprise me if they are intimate but i think considering everything thats going on - shes taken her messiness to another level. I honestly feel like this is basically what she wants - is to end the relationship but doing it in a really messy and twisted way?

TL;DR My partners dishonesty and lack of transparency has taken another level. She refuses to see anything wrong with her behaviour and has no emotional boundaries when it comes to friendships. In her mind her behaviour is acceptable and im not allowed to bring up or table these issues because im insecure and have past issues I havent dealt with.

Background info: My ex ex cheated on me with a friend we both knew. I told my current partner bout this and saw very similar patterns with her one new friend; they were calling/texting all the time like 24/7. So common sense says thats not okay and the optics dont look good. She sidelined me for months. And I know she was emotionally involved with this friend - i could feel it. But she denied it for months and she said her actions were because she was grieving the loss of her father. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Fast forward to today.
Im in such a weird space my father also passed away. We had a massive argument bout the way i really felt bout her past actions but really wanted her to understand me better and so we dont end up in the same perpetual loop.(as she has a new friend she met a week ago). So she becomes obsessed with new friends and clearly has no emotional boundaries.

Whats happening now? We arent talking much - shes basically made me feel like im at fault for expressing how i feel. It feels almost like shes waiting for me to return home to end things…. Do i just also chill and wait on her to contact me rather , as i said i would give her some space. Any contact now feels so forced.