u/Time_Cow_3331

EDIT: I chipped a couple tiles while trying to remove the old mortar, and a comment recommend starting over - so imma just start over 🫩

did the tile in my bathroom but screwed laying some of the center tiles, causing a little less than a third of them to pop up with very little effort.

the other tiles seem to hold as they're supposed to.

should I pull up all of the tile and re-lay it, or should I just grind out the mortar that was under the failed tiles and re-lay those?

I appreciate any help

TLDR; my wife has repeatedly come up to, and danced on the line of infidelity our entire 11 year relationship.

To be clear; my wife has never, to my knowledge, had sex with another person while we've been together. My wife is the one with BPD. we've been together for 11 years, excluding a break of ~ 10 months five years in. FWIW, I found out most of what's below by going through an old phone of hers after a situation with her friend (detailed below). nothing I am talking about occured while we were on a break. What she did when we were separated doesn't bother me.

That said, since we've been together, she's been very flirty with other guys when I'm not around, and while I don't think flirting in general is cheating, it definitely goes past the point of innocent flirting, and into entertaining an affair territory. she got handsy/was making out with with one of her male friends a few months ago. she told me about her and her friend that same night, but despite me making it clear she couldn't do that again, she did the next day, which she also told me about. the situation with her and her friend made me reevaluate things, and I realized how much I had been lying to myself about her and her behavior.

since the situation with her and her friend, I've discovered she was sending risque snapchats to others (not nudes, but definitely pictures meant to evoke the same thing) pretty much our whole relationship up until a couple years ago, and the aforementioned flirting the entire relationship. During a night out with coworkers 2 years ago she all but sent a male coworker nude photos she took while modeling before we got together, enough info he was able to find these photos himself, told her he found them and said he would need "to use them to take care of something" which she responded with a "well have fun 😘". her nude modeling before we got together doesn't bother me, but her "leading a horse to water" so to speak does. During one of our recent fights, she started posting "thirst-traps" online and responding to comments from guys I have never heard of before. posting thirst-traps is not something she's ever done when in a relationship prior to this.

I don't really have a good explanation as to why she's done stuff like this, although I know that BPD is certainly a factor, not that she's blameless.

since our most recent fight things have been quiet, although I haven't been prying.

if I found out years ago I wouldve ended things, but three children, owning a house, and her family being essentially all of my social web these days makes things a lot more complicated.

so to my questions;

if you have BPD and have/do do stuff like this, why? I don't want to judge, just understand.

if your partner has BPD and does/has done stuff like this, how did you deal with it?

how would you approach this in conversation, or how did you?

thank you to any who responds in advance.

so how many MTF lost Marriages because of your transition?

I thought my wife would be supportive, but I was sorta droppings hints like "what if I looked like X" and whatnot, and she made it clear that the reason she found me attractive as a partner was because of my more masculine features (such as my beard).

idk, I realize strangers on the internet wouldn't be a substitute for an honest conversation, and the experience of the many doesn't necessarily equate to the few, but it's somethings that's been on my mind.

EDIT: meant male-to-female, not female-to-male..