I got a chance to go to the UK, and I probably won’t get such a chance again. I don’t know if I should go, considering that it supports Israel. I can’t choose another country, either I go or I don’t
I'm not a victim of grooming but my friend is so hopefully this subreddit is suitable for this as I wanted to ask the opinion of grooming victims.
Here's the situation:
My (<18) friend (13) is being groomed by her boyfriend who is 18. They met online when he was 14 and she was 9-10. I think they started dating when he was 16 and she was 12. They live in different countries and they never met irl.
He doesn't isolate her from her friends and family, and by her words, he is very supportive and respectful. However he does say sexually explicit things to her but she doesn't seem to mind. And I'm only scared to imagine what he says to her in private.
When I first found out his age I told her that that is creepy AF and he's a pedophile. I tried to explain to her that he's grooming her one or two times more, but each time she says that she doesn't want me to talk about her boyfriend negatively and that it triggers her.
I didn't want her to think of me as not a trust-worthy unsupportive person in case something bad happens and she won't be able to ask me for support because she thinks of me like that. So I didn't bring it up again.
What made me more concerned is that they put a matching pfp in which the girl looks like a little child, and the boy is like 2 heads taller than her and looks like an older teen. I don't know whose initiative it was to put this, but it reminded me of how he sees her, even if she might be an early bloomer and he says that he thinks she's mature (I don't know if he directly said "you're so mature for your age" but he did say that he forgets how old she is).
The reason why I brought up the pfp thing is that she may ask why I suddenly brought him up and I might have to explain that the pfp concerned me.
He also had put little anime girls as his pfp before which wouldn't be a problem in itself but in the general picture it adds some context. Even if some of you think he is not a pedophile there is something REALLY REALLY wrong with him that he thinks that this relationship is normal.
Her mom knows about his existence but I don't know if she knows his age or that he is dating her daughter.
In the countries they live in the police is useless. And I also live in another country from her, so I can't contact her school or anything (not that I know where she goes anyway).
I could try asking her if her mom knows about his age, and if she doesn't, I could try asking her to tell her mom his age. At least then it will be her mother's responsibility to keep an eye on her. It is, of course, but I want to be sure I did everything I could.
But what if her mother doesn't find that concerning? My friend still needs to understand that this relationship is bad for her. I don't have many arguments except that she's going to feel gross in a few years when she looks at people her current age and sees how fucked up his interest was. I believe this is a good argument, but is there anything more I could say?
And there are a few arguments I might need to combat and that make it a bit harder to explain that this relationship is bad. Like it isn't as obvious as it would be if he was 30 and made her feel bad or isolated her from others. How do I combat the arguments that he isn't being openly manipulative, abusive and doesn't isolate her? That she believes she's mature enough? That he couldn't have been a predator when they first met since he was young?
Also, is her birthday being soon where she turns 14 changes anything?
Any advice will be greatly appreciated
I have a trouble with following verses:
Ephesians 5:22-24: "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Colossians 3:18: "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands,as is fitting in the Lord."
1 Timothy 2:11-15: "11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."
Genesis 3:16: "To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”"
1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "34 Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
Is there a way to interpret them that isn't misogynistic?