u/TiredSleepyGrumpy

Hi all,

Hope you’re all well today.

I apologise this is my second advice request this week.

To put it bluntly: I am terrified about Australia’s future. Lack of housing, stagnant wage growth, terrible politicians (both sides), rising costs, poor economy, I could go on.

I have always been anxious, ever since I was a kid who was bullied. I didn’t know I was ADHD until I was diagnosed a few months ago, and reading the specialist report about how I’ve had symptoms all my life and so much so they are debilitating.

I have ruminated about anything and everything and for the last few years it’s been about the above.

Some context:

- I was incredibly lucky and had secure housing for 35 years. I lived with my mum, dad, and various pets over the years (cats, dogs, and budgies).

- 17 of those years were caring for mum and dad and I still worked full time. Dad being sick broke us financially. Mum went into a nursing home in 2023 and dad died in 2025. There was hundreds of thousands of debt, and my parents house was sold to pay these off and pay for mum’s place in the home.

- I lost my savings when I was sick in 2023 and had 7 months of unemployment. They’ve still never returned to the level they were then. Life keeps getting more expensive.

- I work full time, but over the last year I’ve been stressed and grieving, leading to a lot of leave. I’ve had around 30 sick days in the last year, I also had ME/CFS and it was brutal.

- I am bored with my career, and too scared to take risks. In fact I am scared of everything.

- My housemate who I was living with the past year (luckily another secure year of housing) who I’ve known my entire life and been a safe person for me is terminally ill and her kids are forcing me out.

- I cannot afford to live on my own. I can only afford rooming houses (which I am not keen on) or share houses. Something I don’t know much about.

- I have no rental history and can’t even afford a studio apartment with the help of the home help scheme for low income earners. Banks will only lend me around 220,000, which buys nothing. Also, after doing the screening for this fund, I was deemed unacceptable because I can’t “save enough money” and my expenses are too high to pay the mortgage despite it being a small one. I have more than the 2% deposit required too.

- My expenses are nothing frivolous and just the basics. Also, I’m unsure how I’d pay a mortgage and all the other expenses that come with apartment ownership. I already eat at home, hardly go out, and I’ve reduced eating to once a day due to costs of food.

- I hardly have any friends. In my 20’s I had several. Except I started to push away. They started buying houses, getting great jobs, getting married, and having kids. All while I was stuck in boring admin jobs that paid less than minimum wage. I isolated myself because I felt so much shame. I was resentful and upset I didn’t have what they had.

- I’ve isolated myself for 12 or so years now and it continues getting worse and I am scared.

- I am on dex. 20mg at 8am, 10mg at 12noon. The dex was working for a while. Now I am the worst I’ve ever been. I cry at the drop of the hat. I’m scared to go out. I can’t focus at work. I consistently overshare and I desperately wish to stop this.

I am ruining my life. I know I am the only one who can change it.

I must change so much yet I‘m so broken.

I went to housing services today because I am at a high risk of homelessness and living in my car. I must start selling most of my things.

I got rejected for homelessness help because I earn “too much”.

ADHD community, how do I start turning my life around? Am I doomed? People on reddit seem to think I am…

Thank you again and warm wishes to you all!

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all doing well and having a good day wherever you are.

I recently was diagnosed with ADHD and it made a lot of sense. I’ve always been different. I was bullied as a kid for being poor, bullied as a teen for being weird, and bullied as an adult for being sensitive at work.

As I am facing a tough challenge regarding housing presently, I am worried no one will be my friend anymore. I have isolated myself from those with good careers, houses, and kids as I feel I’m useless and “too much”.

I overshare a lot and this makes it hard to make new friends, or find a partner. I’m obese, stuck in a career I hate.

I am wondering if anyone can provide tips on how I can stop this and stop being scared because I’m poor?

Apologies for my waffle.

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all having a good night.

I have a bit of a doozy for you. I’ll try and keep it brief (I talk a bit much).

I’m in my late 30’s. I‘ve worked in admin since I was 20 and have “worked my way up” and I have been an Executive Assistant in the past, but did not enjoy it. I’m also bored and have been at my current role for over two years.

I asked my boss if I could be taught some more, and some technical work, and if I could possibly have my salary increased with the new experience. They said “no” and “get a second job”.

I’m burnt out, in a rut, and I already can’t afford to live in Melbourne much longer (housing crisis) and I rent. I believe I will end up homeless if I don’t change something.

There are a few careers I’ve looked at, but I don’t think I’m smart enough to do them, or there are other factors making this impossible. These careers were:

Nurse

PROS: A meaningful career. I am highly empathetic and think I could be alright at it. AI cant do it.

CONS: low salaries for years. Private pays less. Stress and politics.

VLine Driver

PROS: A rewarding career that pays well.

CONS: high barrier to entry. Approximately 8,000 applicants for 80 yearly traineeships. Can be rejected for any number of reasons that you don’t know until you get rejected.

Clinical Psychologist

PROS: A meaningful career. You can help people. Lots of jobs. Low unemployment.

CONS: 6 years study that is intensive, and again a high barrier of entry with the masters. Also stressful study.

So, my question is: what are careers that I can transition to that pay over 150,000 when qualified? IF they exist? I don’t mind studying again to achieve this, and I don’t want to be kicked out of the industry when I’m 65 or 70.

I am also stressed because I can’t afford my own place (1br apt is fine, I’m not after much) and also the cost of living is awful. I’m not opposed to moving to a larger country town either.

Apologies for the waffle. I am terrified of ending up homeless and unable to retire and I want to have meaning in life. The Public Housing list has a decades waiting list too.

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all doing well.

First of all I want to say thank you to all the drivers and support staff that run the V Line network. The trains are comfortable too. I often enjoy my trips on your various routes.

Also I have an interest in becoming a V Line driver, but am worried I’m never going to pass muster to have this job; so I have a few questions below and am hoping someone can answer or give some insight into this exciting career.

For reference, I am late 30’s and have worked in administration and office management roles since I was 20.

1. I am overweight and I believe there is a strict BMI that we must be under to qualify.

2. I have AuDHD. I am on Medication for the ADHD.

3. Are they looking for female drivers?

4. What is the traineeship like? And is the remuneration worth it?

5. Is it a job we can do past 65? 70? I know women have an “expiry date” in the workforce.

6. Please provide anything else you’d like to share.

7. I know that for training you are based out of Southern Cross. What Country Depots do they have?

8. How smart must you be to be a train driver? I know I’m smart, but the recent ADHD diagnosis makes me feel like I’m worthless.

I want to do something meaningful and have had a life long obsession with trains, as did my dad who passed away. I’m sick of my current career.

Lastly, I have watched the video showing a driver and what her day looks like, and read a few articles about other drivers.

Thanks again everyone and have a wonderful evening!

Hi everyone,

I’m an obese lady who must lose weight. Hoping that the internet can’t assist with abs advice they have.

I have always struggled with weight, my mum put me on various diets since I was eight years old.

My weight was the lowest it was during high school (early 2000’s weight pressure culture) and I also walked a lot to get anywhere, and I often went on long walks with friends and my parents.

I want to lose weight as there’s a career I want to transition to that requires physical fitness and a healthy BMI.

I feel better after dinner when I eat vegetables and sometimes some meat.

Things I must change:

- I don’t eat breakfast, let alone a healthy one

- I binge eat sweets and salty snacks

- I have a desk job and often don’t take my lunch break.

- I spend too much time bed rotting on weekends

- I don’t meal prep and I spend too much on food and have for years. I cannot afford this so I’m confused why I keep doing it!

If anyone has any strategies that assist with this. Or has any tips for me, let me know.

Thank you

Hi everyone!

Hope you're having a wonderful time wherever you are. :)

I'm posting to see how people recover from bread-crumbing.

Also to share my experience and hope everyone can avoid this in future!

I'm obviously embarrassed I didn't really know what this was - I am nearly 40 and googled it...

So, I was a rarity and had a lot of dates off HER (and a lot of rubbish too lol).

There was one lady I met who despite having no expectations from her / just going for something to do (on the first date) I ended up falling for! Whoopsy.

At first I thought she was a very talented person, and that the world had dealt her a cruel hand. I thought we'd go nicely together after knowing her for a few months. She was chivalrous, a good listener, patient, and not rushing into things (I am demisexual for reference).

For a few months it was no pressure, texting every day or every other day, the conversation kept flowing. We saw each other often and talked for hours on every date we had.

All while this was happening I ignored the red flags and dismissed it as her "being who she is" and "she's not good at communication."

Then everything flipped. The regular text messages stopped, and she was still on the apps when I wasn't. I knew this was bad news, but enjoyed her company and "let it happen".

Then the messages were sporadic, once every two weeks if I was lucky, and our plans would get pushed back. We still went out for lunch a couple of times, where she would be her charming self. I knew this was hurting me, but she gave just enough attention (a textbook breadcrumber).

Also, she had been often talking about all the crushes she had on people at work, she's rather immature in that sense. And often mentioning all the bad thing her ex did.

In the silence, I thought about it more and more, and I KNEW deep down she didn't want me. I thought I could change that. You can't.

Red flags (it's not bread-crumbing specific, but this is what this person was)
- Sporadic Contact. Someone who is in to you will be consistent.
- Blames the ex for everything, says they were abusive (so why do you still have them on social media?)
- Resentful commentary on everyone and everything, not wanting to be positive.
- Being on the apps still after months and giving you physical signs saying something else.
- Being charming in person, but scum behind the scenes
- Blaming everyone for the situation they were in
- Not wanting to grow or improve at life
- Trying to replace their ex with version 2.0 of said ex
- Need for control
- Not mentioning you to friends or family
- Blaming their family for the way they were, but still relying on said family

Feel free to roast me in the comments if I am in fact, a giant idiot. Because knowing me I could be. :P