u/Toliveorbelived

I carry an enormous amount of guilt that, for some reason, I can't seem to face. It's hard to explain, but it feels as though I'm a criminal who committed something unforgivable, unable to admit or fully accept what they've done.

The strange thing is that I don't necessarily mean guilt over one specific event. It's more like a deep, pervasive feeling that I've done something fundamentally wrong or that there's something wrong with me. Instead of facing it, I avoid it. I distract myself, shut down emotionally, or push it out of my awareness. It feels like I'm a fugitive from my own deepest emotions.

Has anyone here experienced something similar? If so:

* Where do you think that guilt came from?

* What helped you finally face it instead of running from it?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. I'm trying to understand whether this is something others who grew up with emotional neglect have also gone through.

For those who grew with chronic emotional suppression, or buried trauma:

Have any psychedelic helped you become aware of emotions that you had been disconnected from?

I’ve seen a couple in Amazon, has anyone bought one?

I’ve spent most of my life feeling disconnected from my emotions. I don't really feel love, empathy, fear, excitement, or much of anything. As a result, I often have no idea what I truly want in life, including whether I want to stay in my relationship.

For those who experienced emotional neglect, repression, or numbness and later began to heal: did gaining access to your emotions bring clarity about what you wanted in life and in your relationships?

Have any of you experienced a moment where years of buried emotions suddenly came to the surface? What was it like?

What was your life like before, and how would you describe it afterward?

How did the process change your views on life, relationships, yourself and your spirituality (if it all)?

Was there anything about healing that you wish you had know earlier?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

I'm thinking about starting the journey of learning Japanese woodworking. I understand it's a long-term commitment that can take years to develop, and I'm still unsure whether it's truly the right path for me.

For those with experience, what am I really getting into? What surprised you most when you started, and what do you wish you had known beforehand? I'd love to hear about both the rewards and the challenges of pursuing this craft.

I’m 30 years old and not a chronic cannabis user. In fact, every time I decide to use it, I feel afraid and nervous because I know it may open that space inside me again. I usually consume only once every few weeks or once a month, and always with the intention of trying to release my emotions, open my heart again.

What happens is that it brings up so much buried pain that I quickly become overwhelmed. The experience can be so intense that I stop using cannabis for weeks. Part of me feels that if I fully allowed myself to go into that pain, it could trigger a crisis, so I instinctively pull back and don’t let myself fall.

It’s also important to mention that I have a strong resistance to cannabis itself. I’m afraid of becoming dependent on it, and I’m also afraid of becoming delusional or mentally unbalanced. Because of that, my relationship with cannabis is complicated: it seems to give me access to something important, but at the same time, it scares me.

Has anyone else experience something similar?